From 971007861dfe0c2bb06f02acd87e117daa10248d Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Jared Miller Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2025 09:26:10 -0500 Subject: [PATCH] Add fantasyland book --- index.html | 17605 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ script.js | 296 + style.css | 297 + 3 files changed, 18198 insertions(+) create mode 100644 index.html create mode 100644 script.js create mode 100644 style.css diff --git a/index.html b/index.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f96a2f7 --- /dev/null +++ b/index.html @@ -0,0 +1,17605 @@ + + + + + + + The Tough Guide to Fantasyland + + + +
+
+

+ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland +

+

+ A humorous, opinionated travel guide to a world of MAGIC + USERS, TAVERN BRAWLS, and ominous MAPS. Click any ALL CAPS + term to wander to its definition. +

+
+
+ +
+ A Tough Guide to Fantasyland +

+ by + Diana Wynne Jones +

+
+
+

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

+
+
+

WHAT TO DO FIRST

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Find the MAP. It will be there. No Tour of + Fantasyland is complete without one. It will + be found in the front part of your brochure, + quite near the page that says +
    +
    2. +
+
+

+ For Mom and Dad for having me and for Jeannie + (or Jack or Debra or Donnie or …) for putting up + with me so supportively and for my nine children + for not interrupting me and for my Publisher for + not discouraging me and for my Writers’ Circle + for listening to me +

+
+
+

+ and for Barbie and Greta and Albert Einstein + and Aunty May +

+
+
+

+ and so on. Ignore this, even if you are + wondering if Albert Einstein is Albert Einstein + or in fact the dog. +

+

+ This will be followed by a short piece of prose + that says +

+
+
+

+ When the night of the wolf waxes strong in the + morning, the wise man is wary of a false + dawn. +

+

+ Ka’a Orto’o, Gnomic Utterances +

+
+
+

+ Ignore this too (or, if really puzzled, look up + GNOMIC UTTERANCES in the Toughpick section). + Find the Map. +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Examine the Map. It will show most of a + continent (and sometimes part of another) + with a large number of BAYS, OFFSHORE + ISLANDS, an INLAND SEA or so and a sprinkle + of TOWNS. There will be scribbly snakes that + are probably RIVERS, and names made of + CAPITAL LETTERS in curved lines that are not + quite upside down. By bending your neck + sideways you will be able to see that they + say things like “Ca’ea Purt’wydyn” and “Om + Ce’falos.” These may be names of COUNTRIES, + but since most of the Map is bare it is hard + to tell. +
    +
    2. +
+
+

+ These empty inland parts will be sporadically + peppered with little molehills, invitingly + labeled “Megamort Hills,” “Death Mountains, + ”Hurt Range” and such, with a whole line of + molehills near the top called “Great Northern + Barrier.” Above this will be various warnings of + danger. The rest of the Map’s space will be + sparingly devoted to little tiny feathers called + “Wretched Wood” and “Forest of Doom,” except for + one space that appears to be growing minute + hairs. This will be tersely labeled + “Marshes.” +

+

This is mostly it.

+

+ No, wait. If you are lucky, the Map will carry + an arrow or compass-heading somewhere in the bit + labeled “Outer Ocean” and this will show you + which way up to hold it. But you will look in + vain for INNS, reststops, or VILLAGES, or even + ROADS. No – wait another minute – on closer + examination, you will find the empty interior + crossed by a few bird tracks. If you peer at + these you will see they are (somewhere) labeled + “Old Trade Road – Disused” and “Imperial Way – + Mostly Long Gone.” Some of these routes appear + to lead (or have lead) to small edifices + enticingly titled “Ruin,” “Tower of Sorcery,” or + “Dark Citadel,” but there is no scale of miles + and no way of telling how long you might take on + the way to see these places. +

+

+ In short, the Map is useless, but you are + advised to keep consulting it, because it is the + only one you will get. And, be warned. If you + take this Tour, you are going to have to visit + every single place on this Map, whether it is + marked or not. This is a Rule. +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Find your STARTING POINT. Let us say it is + the town of Gna’ash. You will find it down + in one corner on the coast, as far away from + anywhere as possible. +
    +
    2. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + Having found Gna’ash, you must at once set + about finding an INN, Tour COMPANIONS, a + meal of STEW, a CHAMBER for the night, and + then the necessary TAVERN BRAWL. (If you + look all these things up in the Toughpick + section, you will know what you are in for.) + The following morning, you must locate the + MARKET and attempt to acquire CLOTHING + (which absolutely must include a CLOAK), a + SADDLE ROLL, WAYBREAD, WATERBOTTLES, a + DAGGER, a SWORD, a HORSE, and a MERCHANT to + take you along in his CARAVAN. You must + resign yourself to being cheated over most + prices and you are advised to consult a + local MAGICIAN about your Sword. +
    +
    2. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + You set off. Now you are on your own. You + should turn to the Toughpick section of this + brochure and select your Tour on a + pick-and-mix basis, remembering only that + you will have to take in all of it, so that + it is no use going straight to CONCLUSION. + Management Rules will not allow you to do + this until you are on your third brochure. + With this proviso, you can take anything in + any order you please. The Rules are clearly + stated in every case and the OFFICIAL + MANAGEMENT TERMS (OMTs) have been + thoughtfully included in italics and marked + (OMT) where necessary. All items in CAPITALS + can be found in Toughpick . +
    +
    2. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + Have a good Tour. Thank you for choosing to + go with our MANAGEMENT. +
    +
    2. +
+
+

 

+

+ WHAT TO DO NEXT: Consult Toughpick. +

+

 

+
+

+
+

TOUGHPICK

+
+
+

A

+

+ Ask any question you please of the Gods. They + do not have to answer. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, Gnomic Utterances, II xvi +

+
+
+

+ ADEPT. + One who has taken what amounts to the + Postgraduate Course in MAGIC. If a MAGIC USER is + given this title, you can be sure she/he is + fairly hot stuff. However, the title is neutral + and does not imply that the Adept is either GOOD + or EVIL. Examine carefully each Adept you + encounter and be cautious, even if she/he seems + friendly. See COLOUR CODING for the best way of + telling friends from enemies. +

+

+ ALLEYS + are the most frequent type of ROAD in a CITY or + TOWN. They are always narrow and dark and + squishy, and they frequently dead-end. You will + escape along them when pursued and also be + AMBUSHED there. +

+
+
+

+ See also REFUSE and SQUALOR. +

+
+
+

+ ALLIGATORS. + Probably extinct in Fantasyland and now to be + found only in a mummified state hanging from the + rafters of a WIZARD’s workroom. If the Alligator + is present, it is a sure sign that the Wizard is + friendly. +

+

+ ALTARS + are of three types: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + In TEMPLES. These are for SACRIFICES, so + they will be waist-high and long enough to + contain the supine body of a VIRGIN. The + stone top will have grooves for blood, and + the whole will be covered with dry brown + stains of a troubling kind (OMT) from former + Sacrifices. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + In the open, usually on a hilltop. These + are of marble and quite simple but handsome, + because they are always devoted to a GOOD + deity. The size and shape varies, but the + general effect is of unassuming + potency. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + In RUINS. These Altars are underground or + inside a pyramidal structure (OMT). They + will sit on a dais at the further, darker + end, and be about the size of a laundry + hamper, in stone. Approach these with care. + Though they undoubtedly hide or contain + SECRETS or QUEST OBJECTS you need, they will + be set about with magical booby traps that + are still operative even after a thousand + years. You need to disarm these first, and + then possibly the thin shade of the enraged + deity after that. +
    +
    4. +
+
+

+ AMBUSHES + will be of four kinds, and you will have them + all: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + By BANDITS, of the CARAVAN with which you + are traveling. This will happen early on in + your Tour. It will have been carefully set + up, usually by a SPY masquerading as a + CARAVAN GUARD. In some narrow place with + high sides (rocky defile (OMT)) or where there is thick + forest on either side of the route, Bandits + will first shoot all the Guards and then + come pouring down to overwhelm the Caravan. + This is where you will part company with the + Caravan since nearly everyone but you will + be killed. You will just be left for + dead. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + By LEATHERY-WINGED AVIANS a little later + on, at night in a high place. This will be + your first light brush with the forces of + EVIL. (You can tell the Avians are Evil + because they SMELL.) You will fight them off + quite easily, but you may be left with a + festering wound. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + By the forces of Evil, upon a group of + people you either care about or were + depending on for help. You will come upon + the evidence of this Ambush some time after + the midpoint of your Tour. It will be in a + ravine. Here you will find the corpses of + your brutally murdered friends being eaten + by scavengers. Your rage and grief will be + enormous – the more so as you had hoped that + this party had made it through to the + CITY/WIZARD/KING for help. You must dig + graves and proceed. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + By you, on the forces of Evil. This will be + near the end of the Tour, when at last you + will be able to turn the tables on the + ENEMY, by lying in wait at the to of cliffs + beside a rocky defile (OMT). With luck, you + will have help here both from the GOOD King + and from assorted Other PEOPLES, usually + DWARFS, who will be experts in the art of + rolling boulders down on the soldiers of the + DARK LORD as they pass below. You, with your + now considerable experience of Ambushes, + will then attack and finish them off. This + will be one of your first victories against + the forces of Evil. You will throw up + afterwards, but basically you will feel + good. +
    +
    5. +
+
+

+ AMULETS. + One of the many magical protective items to be + found throughout Fantasyland. This kind is + usually small, made of metal, amber or + semi-precious stone, and adapted for hanging + round the neck. You may be given yours; you may + pick it up among other TREASURE; or you may be + forced to obtain one from a MAGIC USER. On many + Tours, an Amulet is essential and you must + acquire one before going on to the next part. + Where not essential, Amulets are still useful, + since they can give warning of danger (usually + by growing very hot) and, if specially powerful, + can either invoke the aid of a God or WIZARD or + render the owner invisible. +

+
+
+

+ See also INSCRIPTION, INVISIBILITY, QUEST, and + TALISMAN. +

+
+
+

+ ANCIENT ENGINEERING PROJECTS + tend to litter the landscape in some parts of + the continent. Most of them are quite + mysterious, and all of them are made of some + substance not known to the present inhabitants, + often of a greenish colour, or a matte black, + though white is not unknown. They will be + gigantic. Most of them will be pillars that + touch the clouds, but ROADS and broken BRIDGES + are common too. It is unknown quite what + challenge caused earlier peoples to make things + that were so very large. Most of them are no use + to anyone. +

+
+
+

See also RUINS.

+
+
+

+ ANGLO-SAXON COSSACKS + live in the STEPPES and breed HORSES. They try + to look like Horses themselves by wearing their + hair in ponytails. They ride often, expertly and + acrobatically. In fact, they show off rather. + Regardless of the fact that winds continually + sweep the Steppes, they wear little but + sleeveless VESTS and scanty TROUSERS. These + people are tough. But, despite riding since + early infancy, not one Anglo=Saxon Cossack ever + has bandy thighs. Something in their genes + prevents this. They are organized normally in + CLANS under a supreme chieftain but do not seem + to fight among themselves. Nor do they fight + other PEOPLES much. Everyone knows better than + to mess with them. If called on to fight for + GOOD, they muster eventually, but it takes time. + Then they are formidable cavalry. Oddly, since + their way of life is nomadic, they live in stone + fastnesses and rarely use TENTS. On most Tours + they are a dreadfully masculine society. Their + women wear long SKIRTS and are trained to be + wimps. +

+

+ ANIMALS. + See ENEMY SPIES, FOOD, and TRANSPORT. Apart + from creatures expressly designed for one of + these three purposes (and this includes HARES + and RABBITS), there appear to be almost no + animals in Fantasyland. Any other animal you + meet will be the result either of a WIZARD’S + BREEDING PROGRAMME or of SHAPESHIFTING. You may + on the other hand hear things, such as roaring, + trampling, and frequently the hooting of owls, + but these are strongly suspected to be sound + effects only, laid on by the Management when it + feels the need for a little local colour. +

+
+
+

+ See also DOMESTIC ANIMALS and ECOLOGY. +

+

+ ANIMAL SKINS + are much in use and are of four kinds: 1. + Trappers’ furs. These are occasionally brought + south in bundles. As there appear to be no + ANIMALS to be trapped, it is likely that these + skin s are either cunning man-made imitations or + imported from another world. +

+

+ 2. Furs worn by NORTHERN BARBARIANS. It is + possible that these are also false or imported. + Another possibility is that the animals + providing these furs are now extinct (see + ECOLOGY) and that the famous fur loincloths are + handed down from father to son. +

+

+ 3. Leather for BOOTS, VESTS, + etc. is again of mysterious + origin. (See DOMESTIC ANIMALS.) There are not + enough cows to go round, but the leather has to + come from somewhere. +

+

+ 4. Skins of which the TENTS of DESERT NOMADS + are made. Here the source is obvious. Nomads + breed HORSES: the Tents have to be made of + horsehide. In fact, it is entirely probable that + Horses provide all four kinds of Animal + Skin. +

+
+
+

+ APELIKE CANNIBALS + are small, weak, white, and horrible, but where + they exist they occur in great numbers, all + bundled together like maggots. They have small + clawed hands and small sharp fangs, and it is by + sheer numbers and persistence that they + overwhelm the unwary Tourist, whom they will + then eat raw. They live underground, but not + very far underground, often in places like + deserted farmhouses where travelers will not + expect attack; though they seem to fear + daylight, they will come out at dusk as soon as + those in the farmhouse have relaxed. Just + occasionally they will attack a CAMP or a + strayed Tourist in open country . They have the + look of degenerate humans. Possibly they have + strayed into Fantasyland via H.G. Wells’s Time + Machine. +

+

+ APOSTROPHES. + Few NAMES in Fantasyland are considered + complete unless they are interrupted by an + apostrophe somewhere in the middle (as in + Gna’ash). The only names usually exempt from + apostrophes, apart from those of most WIZARDS, + heroes, and COMPANIONS on the Tour, are those of + some COUNTRIES. No one knows the reasons for + this. Nor does anyone really know how an + apostrophe should be pronounced, though there + are theories: +

+
+
+

+ 1. You ignore the apostrophe and simply + pronounce the word. (Here Gna’ash = Gnash.) 2. + You leave a gap or lacuna where the apostrophe + occurs. (Here Gna’ash = Gna-ash.) 3. You make a + kind of clucking-sound to stand for the + apostrophe. (Here Gna’ash = gna glunk ash.) + Persons with insecurely mounted tonsils should + adhere to one of the other two theories. +

+
+
+

+ APPRENTICES + are people who are training for a trade or + skill, which means they are usually quite young + and bad at what they do. Most of the time they + are like nurses during an operation, being there + only to hand the master his tools. They seem to + have to do this for a good many years before + they get to do anything more interesting, and it + is therefore not surprising that some of them + get restless and either try to do the + interesting stuff themselves or simply run away + and join the Tour. The Rules state that if an + Apprentice tries to do the interesting stuff on + her/his own it will blow up in her/his face. If + she/he runs away, she/he will learn all sorts of + things very quickly and also probably prove to + be the MISSING HEIR to a Kingdom. Surprisingly, + very few Apprentices do run away. If you have + one on your Tour, you are in for an eventful + time. +

+
+
+

+ ARISTOCRATIC FEUDALISTS. + There are several branches of this PEOPLE: 1. + BAD. Here the COUNTRY is organized into peasants + and lords and usually ruled by a bad KING or + REGENT. The peasants will live in HOVELS and do + all the work. The lords will have all the MONEY + and oppress the peasants by taxing, beating, and + imprisoning them, and exercising unlimited droit + de seigneur. + The lords will live in CASTLES or MANSIONS, but + will spend much of their time at Court, wearing + sumptuous clothes and jockeying corruptly for + the King’s favour. Court will be very elaborate. + And everything will be even worse if the country + is ruled by a bad QUEEN. Usually the arrival of + the Tour is the signal for the peasants to + revolt. +

+

+ 2. GOOD. This country has the same setup, + except that a good King rules it. The lords are + therefore honest, polite, and kind to their + underlings, and the underlings are prosperous + and jolly and do not mind pulling their + forelocks to the gentry. They will turn out in + great numbers if the Country goes to WAR, and + fight valiantly. +

+

+ 3. Indifferent. This has the same setup, but + the King is a non-entity, or is lost, or has + failed in his duties. The peasants here will be + poor because of crop failure and the lords poor + because the peasants are. Generally the + Management has little interest in this country. + The Tour will pass through very quickly unless + one of its number happens to be the MISSING HEIR + or a poverty-stricken lord from this place . In + the latter case, the Tour will visit his + broken-down MANSION. +

+
+
+

+ In all three types, the Tourist should, if + possible, go straight to Court. That is always + where the interest lies. +

+
+
+

+ ARMAGEDDON + is the battle that ends the world, usually very + fierce and involving both the forces of Good and + the legions of the Dark and also anyone else who + is able to carry a spear. Armageddons happen + quite frequently in Fantasyland, normally at a + site specified by PROPHECY early in your Tour. + Quite often the Prophecy will pick out one or + more of the Tour members in veiled terms (as in + “The Sword Bearer” or “She who walks with the + gods”) and she/he will have to be present before + the latest Armageddon can begin. The remarkable + thing is that there is still some of Fantasyland + left to have the battle in. +

+
+
+

+ ARMOUR + is, in the opinion of the Management, cheating. + This is why it is allowed only to the ARMIES of + bad KINGS and MINIONS OF THE DARK LORD, as well + as the DARK LORD himself. Warriors of the Dark + always wear plate Armour, coloured black, though + whether the colour is painted on, stove-blacked + on, or intrinsic to the metal is not known. No + Tourist should attempt to acquire or wear + Armour, unless it is sanctioned by being of + special metal, found in a PALACE treasury or + DWARVEN FASTNESS, and needed urgently for some + special purpose. This Armour will be chainmail + of incredible lightness, and it will always be, + by lucky chance, an exact fit. +

+
+
+

+ ARMY. + There are strict Rules about this. Only bad + KINGS and the DARK LORD are allowed to raise an + Army at the start of a Tour. This will always be + vast in numbers. It will trample over everything + and devastate the country as it marches, and + will get bigger and worse as the Tour goes on. + This Army will also use MAGIC in unfair ways. + The GOOD are allowed to raise a proper Army to + combat the bad one only when it is almost too + late, right at the end of the Tour, and the Good + Army will somehow avoid either trampling crops + or eating off the countryside – probably because + the Army of the Dark Lord has eaten it all + already. Neither Army will have prostitutes and + other camp followers: these are reserved for + MERCENARIES only. The Rules also state that the + two Armies are very evenly matched, although the + Good Army is only about half the size of the + other one. Do not worry, however, if you find + your side apparently defeated. Your Army may be + killed to a man, but Good will triumph all the + same. +

+

+ ASPECT. + The Aspect of a GODDESS or GOD is the deity + manifesting itself through a human by making + her/him take on an often shadowy form + representing that deity. This can be an ANIMAL + or other shape, or sometimes just a kind of + light. Deities tend to do this when they want to + speed up the action a bit. It is often quite + hard on the human and a great shock to any + onlookers. +

+

+ ASSASSINS, GUILD OF. + The second most frequent guild after the + THIEVES’ GUILD. Indeed, it is possible that + these are the only two, and that in Fantasyland + crime is the sole organized activity. Be that as + it may, the Assassins are numerous and + widespread. They are said to be very good at + their job, which is of course killing people for + money, and to proceed on all occasions with + strict regard to law and protocol. Each member + will have trained for years in rather a large + number of ways of murdering humans (it is not + known whether they also accept commissions to + rub out ELVES, GIANTS, etc.) and will be + distinguishable by a uniform (often black) or a + badge. From one-third of the way through your + Tour onwards, you may expect someone to have + paid an Assassin to slaughter you. The + traditional venue of this murder is a townhouse + (Assassins, for some reason, do not operate in + open country) or WHARF, so be on your guard in + these places. But do not lose sleep over it. As + the Assassin approaches you will get a sense of + wrongness (OMT) or feeling of being watched + (OMT), and this should alert you in time. Once + alert, you will find it surprisingly easy to + kill this practised killer. He will die + protesting that you broke some Rule or + other. +

+

+ ASTROLOGY. + Fantasyland has strange constellations (OMT) + which MAGES and astrologers frequently consult, + often with the help of an instrument called an + astrolabe (OMT), which in our world is a + primitive sextant but in Fantasyland is probably + a zodiacal ready-reckoner. However, the + Management is very reticent about the + constellations that compose their ZODIAC and + what each of them means, either alone or in + conjunction. Consequently a Mage or an + astrologer can tell you just what she/he feels + like. Usually the Management pays these people + to tell you in obscure terms what the STARS say + is going to happen in the way of WARS and + CATACLYSMS on the Tour, and therefore any + prediction they make is bound to come true, + provided you can understand it. +

+
+
+

See also PROPHECY.

+
+
+

+ AVERAGE FOLK + are any people inhabiting the continent who are + not specifically mentioned in the list of + PEOPLES. They are not precisely normal all the + same. Those who are not ASSASSINS, BEGGARS, or + THIEVES will be INNKEEPERS, MERCHANTS, or + peasants, and therefore they are busy trying to + either rob you, rub you out, or cheat you. The + rest will be fully occupied being taxed out of + existence or dealing with a variety of magical + nuisances. Otherwise they are rather like you, + give or take a few hideous sores, gnarled hands, + and suspicious scowls. Do not expect help or + sympathy from any of them. +

+

+ AXE. + The only allowable cutting WEAPON apart from a + SWORD. To be allowed one you must be a NORTHERN + BARBARIAN, a DWARF, or a BLACKSMITH; most + Tourists have to make do with a Sword. WOODSMEN, + of course, have Axes too, but not as + Weapons. +

+

 

+
+

+
+

B

+

+ Beware, when the landscape is of surpassing + beauty, of the needle in the haystack. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, + Gnomic Utterances, XXI vi +

+
+
+

+ BACKLASH OF MAGIC + is when a SPELL is either foiled or bungled and + the MAGIC recoils. This usually ends up in the + face of the one who cast the Spell, often + fatally; but occasionally, particularly if the + Spell was very large, the Backlash goes on to + spray everyone in the vicinity or even travel in + waves across the continent. This can be very + dangerous. The Rules state that there is no way + of stopping Backlash. +

+

+ BACKPACKS + are fairly unobtainable, since they do not form + part of the regulation equipment for Tourists. + The Rule is that the correct form of luggage is + a SADDLE ROLL or Saddlebag. When, however, you + have got through all available supplies of + HORSES, you will find yourself forced to + manufacture a Backpack from BLANKETS and + harness. Expect to have to do this anytime from + halfway to two-thirds of the way through your + Tour. This makeshift luggage will prove quite + trouble-free. It will not fall to pieces and + drop your lunch the way it would if you did the + same thing in your own world. It should last you + easily to the end of the Tour. +

+

+ BALES. + Merchandise of any description (although the + Management seldom describes it) is always in + Bales, presumably waterproof since you will + mostly see Bales on a WHARF. Crates are almost + never used. This is peculiar, as timber seems + readily available, more so than waterproof + fabrics. (See BUILDINGS and CLOAKS.) We put this + down to custom or Rules. Bales on Wharfs are + always being unloaded by very noisy dockworkers + of all sexes. +

+
+
+

See also WINE.

+
+
+

+ BALLAD, How to Compose a. + You need to start with some lines of well-known + Wisdom, like this: +

+
+
+

+ Why number the teeth of a stallion you have + just received for free, Or swiftly assess and + inspect with care the gulf you must jump for + me? +

+

+ Know that an avian held in the fist weighs more + than the flock you see, And among a great + surplus of chefs, your soup might burnèd + be. +

+
+
+

+ Next, include a LEGEND (which turns out to be + History and quite accurate), so: +

+
+
+

+ There once was a monarch, his name was Cole, + who drank and laughed his glee, For beside his + throne on seats of stone sat his lovely + daughters three. +

+

+ One was as fair as the dawn’s bright air, the + second dark to see, +

+

+ And the third was lovelier still, my lads, and + a wicked one was she. +

+
+
+

+ After this you will need a chorus, which seems + to be nonsense but turns out to be Hugely + Significant, like this: +

+
+
+

+ And they fiddled and they twiddled And they + twiddled and they fiddled And they fiddled all + night all three. +

+
+
+

+ Do this two or three more times and you will + have your Ballad. +

+
+
+

+ BANDITS + roam the hillier parts of the country in large + gangs that seem fairly well organized. They are + easily able to plant a SPY or a false GUARD in + any CARAVAN (see also CARAVAN GUARD) to lead it + into a prepared AMBUSH. Expect to be attacked by + Bandits early in the Tour. They will leave you + for dead, possibly taking one of your COMPANIONS + prisoner before they do. In this case you must + prepare to rescue her/him from the clearing + where the Bandits are preparing for the mass + rape. You need have no compunction about killing + as many Bandits as you can. Male or female, they + are the dregs. Nor will they seem very organized + when you burst into the clearing. You may steal + their HORSES and proceed with the Tour. +

+
+
+

+ Two questions about Bandits remain unanswered. + These are: 1. Where are Bandits recruited from? + The Management is vague on this point, but + sometimes indicates that Bandits are outcasts, + on the run for crimes committed in their + hometowns or villages, or that they are + unattached MERCENARIES. +

+

+ 2. What do the Bandits do with the large amount + of loot they regularly cull from Caravans? The + Management is vaguer still on this point and has + never so far indicated the whereabouts of any + receivers of stolen goods willing to deal with + Bandits, but since the Bandits cannot eat + JEWELLERY or baled cloth, such outlets must + exist. +

+
+
+

+ Both these questions may have the same answer. + The Bandits are employed by the Management to + make the early stages of the Tour more + interesting. +

+
+
+

+ BARBARIAN HORDE. + This will be lots and lots of wild-seeming + people advancing under a cloud of dust in order + to devastate more civilized parts. They are a + bit like locusts, except that they kill people + direct. Tourists should take cover at once when + the telltale dust cloud is sighted, but should + not otherwise be too concerned. These Barbarians + never harm Tourists and are, in fact, mostly + innocent victims. They have usually been stirred + up by some God or the DARK LORD. They will often + go home quietly when talked to seriously. +

+
+
+

+ See also NORTHERN BARBARIANS. +

+
+
+

+ BARBARY VIKINGS + wear horned HELMETS and fur CLOAKS; otherwise + you could mistake them for NORTHERN BARBARIANS. + They swagger hugely, quarrel hugely, drink + hugely, and boast hugely. The thing they like + best is killing people, particularly lots at + once. If a Barbary Viking goes berserk, he will + kill even more freely. Stand clear if one + does. +

+
+
+

+ All of them are excellent seamen. Their BOATS + have square sails and lines of SHIELDS down the + sides. Quite often, the Management employs them + as PIRATES because they are good at raping and + looting and burning, but on some Tours they + appear as allies of a rather willful kind, and + will even take Tourists for a sail. At home, + which is somewhere quite northerly, they have a + KING, who is GOOD and to whom they are violently + loyal, and their womenfolk, whom you scarcely + see at all because they are all at home breeding + warriors. Barbary Vikings are even maler than + ANGLO-SAXON COSSACKS. +

+
+
+

+ BARDS + are best thought of as musical MAGIC USERS. On + former Tours they tended to be diffident people, + forced to roam the continent in ragged finery, + scraping a poor living by playing and singing in + INNS and FAIRGROUNDS. They were not always + honest. When their MUSIC proved to have enormous + power, they were naively astonished and usually + blamed their HARPS. Nowadays the Management is + alerted to the powers of Bards and has taken to + collecting bardic youngsters into halls or + troupes under a master, for stringent + professional training. Bards are now required to + dress smartly, to play the Harp and at least two + other instruments, to have on tap (and sing to + professional standards) all available songs and + invocations, to memorize all LEGENDS, BALLADS + and old lore (OMT), to recite epics and to know + a fair number of SPELLS. Thus they frequently + join Tours as a powerful COMPANION. You can ask + your Bard to open PORTALS and assuage DEMONS and + do almost anything musical. She/he will often + dredge from memory vital pieces of KNOWLEDGE + that even your Tour MENTOR has missed. Bards are + so potent that it is possible they all go on in + old age to become MYSTICAL MASTERS. After all, + Mystical Masters had to begin somewhere. +

+

+ BARONS + occur among most of the ARISTOCRATIC FEUDALIST + Peoples. They are a kind of lord who is not a + good thing. Most of them live in huge old + (mouldering (OMT)) Halls or CASTLES, from which + they oppress the peasantry, attack and imprison + Tourists, and have dealings with either DEMONS + or the less pleasant MAGIC USERS. They have + great numbers of ancestors, and their residences + are likely to be full of the GHOSTS of these + forebears, most of whom were as unpleasant as + the present Baron and all of whom met with bad + ends. GOOD Barons are almost unknown. If they + are Good, they will have another title to add to + the “Baron.” +

+
+
+

+ BAR SERVICE + has not yet been invented. Drinks and other + orders are traditionally brought to you at your + table in the INN by barmaids. This is an + enlightened arrangement by the Management + because it prevents unemployment among young + unmarried women and probably also keeps up the + birthrate. +

+
+
+

+ See also EUNUCHS, MAIDS, and WAR. +

+
+
+

+ BATH + is something all Tourists crave for quite soon. + After very few days of slogging along in all + weathers and sleeping in your clothes, you will + be ready to kill for a Bath. You will crave to + wash your hair. The Management is reasonable on + this issue. Before long, you will find either a + deep POOL in a RIVER of icy water (icemelt (OMT); see also HYPOTHERMIA, COMMON + COLD, and CHILBLAINS) or an INN with a heated + bathhouse. You will be able to leave your + clothes, money, weapons, and SECRETS on the bank + or bathhouse bench and wash in perfect safety. + Management Rules state that no one ever steals + your clothes/valuables or AMBUSHES you while you + are immersed in a Bath. Any lurker will wait + until you have finished. Take care, however. + Baths are the occasion for SEX with one or more + of your FELLOW TRAVELLERS. No matter how + irritating you have found her/him up to then, + after or during the Bath you will find her/him + irresistible. It is probably something in the + WATER. +

+
+
+

+ BAYS + nibble the coastline all over and have three + uses: 1. For having fishing VILLAGES where you + might hire a small BOAT, provided the villagers + are not all out sailing against the + sunset. +

+

+ 2. For being washed up in after a shipwreck. + This kind of Bay is always a long way from + anywhere, rather sandy, and without fresh WATER. + Never mind. If you are washed up here, it will + be because some vital QUEST OBJECT or + Information (see KNOWLEDGE) is waiting nearby in + a CAVE for you to discover. +

+

+ 3. For going down to in order to meet SCALY + FOLK. This Bay will be rocky and picturesque, + the more so because you will probably have to + wait for either Moonrise or dawn before the + Scaly Folk condescend to emerge from the sea. Be + patient. They too have vital information. +

+
+
+

+ BED. + This is something all Tourists will soon miss + acutely. And when, after days of sleeping + outside on the ground, you finally arrive + somewhere where there are beds, prepare yourself + for disappointment. Beds in Fantasyland are + always made of rope wrapped around a frame, with + a mattress of straw on top. You will spend the + night oozing between the holes among the ropes. + And being prickled. +

+

+ BEER + always foams and is invariably delivered in + tankards. The Management is not concerned with + the taste of it. That is your funeral. +

+

+ BEGGARS + are to be found in all major CITIES, always + wearing rags and often with hideous deformities. + They will pester Tourists for money from the + City gates onwards. As soon as the City comes + under SIEGE, however, all Beggars vanish. The + Management has prudently withdrawn them for use + in other Cities along the Tourist routes. This + makes sense. Beggars would only be in the way + during the fighting. +

+

+ BEGINNINGS. + Fantasyland, like so many other places, had its + Beginnings at a time when no one was around to + see it. Nevertheless, quite a lot is known about + it. Unlike our world, Fantasyland was definitely + made by Gods, working alone or in teams of + three, or in whole pantheons. This accounts for + some of the peculiarities of the place, since + the Rule is that one Goddess or three Gods + always made some kind of mistake, often by being + distracted somehow during the act of creation; + and a pantheon of GODDESSES AND GODS tended to + disagree and quarrel, causing mistakes likewise. + This, at the very least, let EVIL in. After + this, according to the ELVES, the deity/deities + took time off to make the Elves and then let a + certain amount of evolution happen. Opinions + vary as to when and how humanity arrived, but + the majority seem to favour the notion that + humans were imported from another planet or + universe. +

+
+
+

+ BETRAYAL + is a word widely used on the Tour. It can mean: + 1. One of your COMPANIONS lets you down. You can + tell by their COLOUR CODING who this is going to + be. +

+

+ 2. An ENEMY SPY tells the BANDITS or the + MINIONS OF THE DARK LORD where you are. Which is + what you would expect. +

+

+ 3. An employee of the DARK LORD shows the ENEMY + how to get into the CITY. +

+

+ 4. A COURTIER or rival PRINCE frames the heir + to the crown and causes him to be exiled for + crimes he did not commit. +

+
+
+

+ Expect all of these things in the course of the + Tour, whatever you think Betrayal means. +

+
+
+

+ BETS + are laid by soldiers on dice, by everyone on + GLADIATORS, and by WARRIOR WOMEN on almost + anything. Management Rules state that no Tourist + will lay a Bet unless he is the SMALL MAN. No + Tours so far have been founded on the outcome of + a Bet, and only in rare cases are they started + by one. +

+
+
+

See also GAMING.

+
+
+

+ BIRDS. + There are remarkably few Birds in Fantasyland, + either in WOODS or on moorland. The reason is + probably that, when any Bird is seen, it is + promptly shot by a Tourist desperate for + something else to eat besides STEW. Otherwise + Birds are of three main kinds: +

+
+
+

+ 1. The occasional carrier pigeon, for use when + no MAGIC USERS are around to exercise + MINDSPEECH. +

+

+ 2. Trained hawks/eagles in the employ of EYRIE + CLANS. These BIRDS are larger than their wild + cousins (which do not exist), with larger heads. + This is because they are telepathic. They have + formidable intelligence and acute eyesight, and + usually fight to the death beside their + owners. +

+

+ 3. ENEMY SPIES, which are nearly always crows. + The ENEMY here exercises remarkably little + intelligence. In the virtual absence of all + other Birds, the crows are nearly always spotted + as SPIES and it rarely seems to occur to any + MINION OF THE DARK LORD to disguise these crows + as friendly eagles. +

+
+
+

+ See also BREEDING PROGRAMMES, CHICKENS, ENEMY + SPIES, and FOOD. +

+
+
+

+ BIRTHRIGHT. + This is what at least one of the party on the + Tour will be looking for and it may indeed turn + out to be the main QUEST OBJECT. It is a little + on the lines of people from North American and + Australia coming to Europe to find out about + their families, but more complicated. There are + two kinds of Birthright quested for: +

+
+
+

+ 1. Magical. The person in search of Magical + Birthright will have inklings of TALENT, but no + more. In order to become a proper MAGIC USER + she/he will have to seek out a powerful MAGE or + WIZARD and try to learn from them. Mere family + will not do, unless a parent turns out to be the + Wizard, the DARK LORD, or an ENCHANTRESS. And it + usually turns out that the Mage/Wizard is no + help either. The seeker will have to go through + difficult and frightening experiences that make + her/him develop her/his Talent out of sheer + terror. +

+

+ 2. Family. Here the person seeking Birthright + is always a Royal heir. If you are an ordinary + person do not expect to discover your family, + unless of course you are a MISSING HEIR and had + no idea that you were. If you are of Royal + birth, then finding out who you are may well + happen quite early in the Tour. You will have to + spend the rest of it honing your skills as a + ruler and collecting lost items of Royal + regalia, all of which will proclaim your + Birthright. See also ORBS, RINGS, SCEPTRES, and + SWORDS. +

+
+
+

+ On some Tours both kinds of Birthright are + being sought, occasionally by the same person. + This is where it can get complicated. +

+
+
+

+ BLACK ARTS. + All MAGICS of an unpleasant and antisocial + nature. They are often to do with killing and + enslaving things and normally require a + SACRIFICE as preliminary, or at least a lot of + blood. The mark of Black Arts is that the blood + is not willingly donated. Practitioners will + either trick Tourists and others into donations + or seize them and cut them, often with a knife + that looks rather unpleasant. There will then be + a lot of mumbling and GESTURES around a + PENTAGRAM, during which there will be a sense of + wrongness (OMT) or a feeling of extreme cold + (OMT); in extreme cases, terror blooms (OMT). + This usually heralds the arrival of a DEMON + which is about to get out of control. + Practitioners can be of all grades of expertise, + from the feeble person who merely wishes for a + little power (and gets steadily more corrupted) + to the high ADEPT who regularly summons Demons + and enslaves ARMIES. Some of them will be + adherents of the DARK LORD. Some of them will + have set up on their own. Tourists may expect to + meet someone who is into the Black Arts at + fairly infrequent but regular intervals along + the way. +

+
+
+

+ See also NECROMANCY and REEK OF + WRONGNESS. +

+
+
+

+ BLACKSMITHS + are much in evidence, hammering in forges and + sometimes even shoeing HORSES. The Rules state + that a Blacksmith is huge and brawny but wise + and gentle in nature. For this reason + Blacksmiths make excellent foster-fathers, + either to young Tourists or to MISSING HEIRS. If + someone from either of these classes of person + needs to reforge a broken SWORD, the Blacksmith + can show her/him how. But the Rules also state + that two out of three Blacksmiths have a sexy + teenage daughter, who will attempt to seduce her + foster-brother(s). When this happens, the only + course for the fosterling is to leave at once on + a QUEST. On his travels, he will soon realize + that this young lady is not for him. +

+

+ BLANKETS + are to Fantasyland what sleeping bags are to + our own world. They are what you will sleep in. + Blankets seem very warm. No Tourist ever has + more than one. And they seem quite waterproof. + It is usually only towards dawn that rain gets + through them to the sleeper beneath. All the + same, those booked for the Tour must steel + themselves for spending many nights shivering. + And then the next night, since even in + Fantasyland, Blankets do not dry in twelve house + when rolled up behind the saddle. +

+

+ BOATS + are always quite small and built of wood. This + is to make it easier for them to sink in a + STORM, be caught by PIRATES, or be overturned by + a SEA MONSTER. +

+
+
+

+ The rigging of boats is puzzling. Small ones + seem to be fore-and-aft rigged in a more modern + manner than large ones, which always seem to + have more of an antique crossrig. Perhaps this + is again so that Pirates can catch them more + easily, but it does make problems in contrary + winds. Helpful WIZARDS are forced to spend long + hours standing either before the mast or in the + prow, making wind get into the sails. +

+

+ See also GALLEYS and SHIPS. +

+
+
+

+ BOGS + are water-sodden parts of the TERRAIN put there + to slow you down when the forces of the Dark are + chasing you. The mud will often be very deep. + You could lose HORSES here. You will also nearly + lose a COMPANION, who will sink in the mire up + to her/his shoulders and have to be pulled out + using a makeshift arrangement of rope. After + that, you will soon be out of the Bog. Bogs are + quite small, unlike the MARSHES, which are + another matter. +

+

+ BOOTHS + are always there where commerce is going on. + They are a cross between a TENT, a SHOP, and a + MARKET stall, and are sort of half-permanent. + People in them sell everything except FOOD; some + of them are barber’s stalls – expect to have to + bargain even for a haircut. Storytellers have + Booths too, and it is here that you will be + directed if the Management wishes you to learn a + handy LEGEND. It is not known why everyone has + Booths instead of something more permanent and + rainproof. +

+

+ BOOTS. + In Fantasyland these are remarkable in that + they seldom or never wear out and are suitable + for riding or walking in without the need of + SOCKS. Boots never pinch, rub, or get stones in + them; nor do nails stick upwards into the feet + from the soles. They are customarily mid-calf + length or knee-high, slip on and off easily, and + never smell of feet. Unfortunately, the formula + for making this splendid footwear is a closely + guarded secret, possibly derived from nonhumans + (see DWARFS, ELVES, and GNOMES). +

+

+ BOWS AND ARROWS + are used by ELVES, defenders of a CITY under + SIEGE, and WOODSMEN. Tourists are discouraged by + the Management from using these WEAPONS, + probably because it is so easy to miss with + them, whereas anyone can swing a SWORD. + Crossbows, being more accurate, are used almost + exclusively by bad people. +

+

+ BREAD + is quite well known in Fantasyland, but you + will seldom get much of it and it will never be + fresh. You might be given some to sop up your + STEW in an INN of an evening, but in the + morning, just as that day’s baking should be + ready, the Rules state that you will make a + hurried departure, having time to grab up only a + piece of stale loaf and a hunk of cheese. +

+

+ BREEDING PROGRAMMES + – official or unofficial – are quite common, + and affect both ANIMALS and people. It is + something everyone accepts. Expect to see the + results of the following at any time on your + Tour: +

+
+
+

1. Animals.

+
+
+

+ A) By non-MAGIC USERS. ANGLO-SAXON COSSACKS, + DESERT NOMADS, EYRIE CLANS, and WOODSMEN all + breed either HORSES or BIRDS for greater + intelligence, endurance and, in the case of + Birds, MINDSPEECH. Their methods are secret, but + it is suspected that magical enhancement is + often used. The OMT for this is traditional + methods. +

+

+ B) By WIZARDS, who never seem able to refrain + from tinkering with genes. Bad Wizards have + enormous fun building beasts out of bits and + pieces of other creatures, adding wings to bears + and lions and snakes and extra legs to birds, + and then fangs and slime to the result. The + CITADELS of these Wizards are usually surrounded + by ill-smelling breeding pits, where all sorts + of infant monstrosities are hopping and + flopping. GOOD WIZARDS quite often do the same + sort of tinkering, but the results are rarely + described as monstrous, or as stinking in a + breeding pit. Somehow a Good Wizard can cross an + eagle, a bear, a lion, and a lizard without the + creature being anything but well proportioned, + fragrant, and comely. Such beasts are always + friendly to humans too (see ECOLOGY). This + explains why there are so few large beasts of a + normal type in Fantasyland. They have all been + captured long ago and interbred with other + species. +

+
+
+

2. People.

+
+
+

+ A) By Royal Families, who are of course mainly + concerned that their son/daughter marry only + someone else who is Royal. Royalness seems to be + a gene, but one which is recessive and easily + overwhelmed by common genes. For this reason + Royal marriages are always arranged ones. Most + of the spirited PRINCESSES joining your Tour + will be doing so because a Royal marriage has + been arranged for them against their wishes. But + there are a few Royal families where other genes + are being preserved and strengthened by + judicious marriage. These traits will usually + have to do with hereditary ability to speak to + GODDESSES AND GODS, hold the SWORD of the + Kingdom, or perform major state MAGICS. + Ironically, these traits often manifest in + long-lost offspring whose descent is far from + pure (see MISSING HEIRS). +

+

+ B) By families of MAGIC USERS intent on + preserving or enhancing the family TALENTS. For + some reason this is rarely done by coercion or + arranged marriage. Someone of the opposite sex + and the correct Talent always comes along at the + right moment. +

+

+ C) By WIZARDS again. Bad Wizards tinker with + humans and Other PEOPLES to breed them with + several more arms and legs or unwholesome + dispositions, or both. Sometimes they do this to + make convenient SLAVES, sometimes to make better + bodies for themselves. Good Wizards will have + done this too, but always in the far past. Whole + races claim to owe their existence to the + Breeding Programme of a long-dead Good + Wizard. +

+
+
+

+ BRIDGES. + The inhabitants of Fantasyland seem to have a + distrust of Bridges, maybe because they provide + an easy way for an invading ARMY to cross to a + VILLAGE on the other side of the RIVER. This is + a great inconvenience to the Tourist. The Rule + is that, when being pursued by the forces of the + Dark, you are going to need to cross a Bridge, + and there will be no Bridge. While the Tour is + waiting to find a way across, the forces of the + Dark have time to catch up. Even if there is + supposed to be a Bridge on the route, you are + likely to arrive to find it broken – whereupon + the forces of the Dark gain steadily again. The + only Bridges sure to be still in place are + ANCIENT ENGINEERING PROJECTS, and they will be + huge, with, as soon as you get to the middle, a + tendency to develop a small but impassable gap + right at the apex. +

+
+
+

+ BRIGANDS. + See BANDITS. +

+
+
+

+ BUILDING MATERIALS + bear little relation to what is available + locally. Thus all ordinary houses are made of + wood and plaster, even if there is no forest for + miles, and all major BUILDINGS are of stone, + regardless of the fact that Fantasyland appears + to have no quarries. In the case of Wizards’ + TOWERS, the stone is always of some notable + color, such as red, black, or blue. Possibly + this is a side effect of the no-entry spells + that the Rules state must always be present. + Northern-based WIZARDS and ENCHANTRESSES favour + ice as a Building Material, and often have + fantastic PALACES carved magically out of + glaciers. +

+
+
+

+ ANCIENT ENGINEERING PROJECTS + are made of another substance entirely. This + seems no longer obtainable. +

+
+
+

+ BUILDINGS. + The Rule is that all ordinary houses are made + mostly of timber, with a tendency to lean off + the true. Those in CITIES always have the upper + storey jutting out over the street so that the + occupants can empty chamber pots on passersby. + PALACES and TEMPLES are probably made of stone, + but this is so ornamented that no Tourist can be + sure. The Rule is that the Tour slams to a stop + while the Management draws your attention to + every pillar and most gargoyles. No interior, + except in HOVELS, is ever simple. The Rules + further state that all Buildings seem larger + inside than out. Passages, stairs, and halls + abound, and every Building you enter will have + at least one mysterious shut door leading to + somewhere that does not fit the ground plan. + Windows are glazed and often have diamond panes, + making it hard to see the painted decorations on + the walls and very difficult to see out at + all. +

+
+
+

+ See also BUILDING MATERIALS, CASTLES, CITADELS, + and TOWERS. +

+
+

 

+

+
+

C

+

+ Certain sages encountered the hero Somplac one + day, who challenged them with the words, “Which + is mightier – the mind or the sword?” To which + the Sage Algeron answered, “What the sword does, + the mind has already accomplished.” “True,” + replied Somplac, “but my answer is more + cutting.” And he sliced off the left big toe of + Algeron. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, + Gnomic Utterances, + V xvi +

+
+
+

+ CAMPS + are of two kinds: +

+

+ 1. For ARMIES and MERCENARIES. These consist of + many orderly rows of TENTS, with the commander’s + tent in the middle and sentries regularly + patrolling the outskirts. There will be + provision carts and the cookhouse Tent (making + STEW) in one quadrant, and pickets for HORSES in + another. The odd thing here is that, when you + look down upon the ENEMY camp from a convenient + hillside, you will be able to tell the size of + the Army not by counting TENTS but by the + numbers of cooking fires you see. When you enter + the Camp, cooking fires are not in evidence + unless required to be scattered, setting fire to + Tents, thereby causing the numerically hugely + superior Enemy to panic. +

+

+ 2. For Tourists. You will have one of these + every night, either in the open under a windy + rock or in woodland under dripping TREES. Here + you will picket and feed Horses, light a fire + and cook Stew, and spread your bedroll and + sleep. First, however, you must dig a latrine + pit, and the MAGIC USER among you must set WARDS + to keep you all safe at night. Tourists often + make the mistake of leaving the latrine outside + the Wards, and occasionally the Horses too. This + means that you could lose a COMPANION and + several mounts to MUTANT NASTIES or other + marauders in the night. It is often simpler to + arrange to be awake in turns. Whichever, you are + going to be glad to sleep under any roof before + long. +

+
+
+

+ CAPITAL LETTERS + at the beginnings of words are used liberally + by the Management according to Rules that + transcend human understanding and may under no + circumstances be questioned (see TABOO). +

+
+
+

+ CARAVAN GUARDS + are men drawn from all PEOPLES, though human is + preferred, and set to ride with a MERCHANT’s + CARAVAN and protect it from BANDITS. They are of + four kinds: +

+
+
+

+ 1. Unattached MERCENARIES. These are quite nice + guys. Some of them even have NAMES. Tourists + need not, however, trouble to get to know this + class of GUARD. They will all be killed when the + Bandits attack. +

+

+ 2. + Unattached nobles or PRINCES. You should + cultivate these. They will survive the Bandits’ + attack and then act as your guides for the next + phase of your Tour. +

+

+ 3. Bandits in disguise. This is a frequent + class of Guard. They will lead you into an + AMBUSH and there is nothing you can do to stop + them (see also ENEMY SPIES). Tourists should, + however, remember that this Ambush always + happens early in a Tour and is therefore usually + survived. The Tourist will merely be left for + dead. +

+

+ 4. Unattached and/or penniless Tourists. You + may find you have to take service as a Guard in + order to proceed with your Tour. If you are + strong and know how to use a SWORD it helps, but + Merchants seldom check on fighting skills. And + your service will last only until the Bandits + attack and leave you for dead. +

+
+
+

+ CARAVANS + in Fantasyland are not the colourful + conveyances of Gypsies. They are always a + cumbrous train of wagons, wains, and HORSES, + with CARAVAN GUARDS, and carry merchandise and + occasional passengers along prescribed routes + for profit. Probably very few make it to their + destinations, given the frequency of BANDITS and + other marauders. Tourists, however, are always + booked into a Caravan. Any other mode of travel + is said to be even less safe. It is therefore + odd that most Tourists find themselves in much + less trouble as soon as the Caravan has been + AMBUSHED and they are free to proceed on their + own. +

+

+ CASTLES + occasionally adorn the heights for pictorial + effect, but the Management usually arranges for + you to see round only the obligatory Castle at + the centre of a TOWN or CITY. These are edifices + with frowning battlements (OMT), slit windows, + and multiple defensible spiral stairways inside. + They contain few or no comfortable rooms, but + this does not matter. You will be there under + SIEGE, along with the last remaining defenders. + These will be running out of arrows and + preparing boiling oil to pour through holes in + battlements and above the portcullis. When + things have got to this pass, most Tourists will + be able to depart through the cellar by means of + a SECRET PASSAGE; the doomed defenders will be + remarkably decent – even jolly – about the fact + that you are deserting them like this in their + hour of need. +

+

+ CATACLYSM. + There has always been at least one of these in + Fantasyland, usually in the far past; it reduced + the country to a primitive state. But stay + alert. A Cataclysm during the present Tour is + not to be ruled out, particularly if one of your + COMPANIONS annoys or challenged a WIZARD. +

+

+ CAVERNS + are large underground systems with RIVERS + running through them. They can be entered from + SECRET PASSAGES, behind WATERFALLS, and from + holes in the hillside. At first there will be + large grottoes with stalactites, followed, when + your torch fails, by areas that glow on their + own. Shortly you will come upon a major centre + of population, which can be of Other PEOPLES or + of troglodytic humans. Here you will be prudent + to buy a BOAT (or steal one if the Cavern + Dwellers are hostile), load yourselves, your + wounded, and any provisions aboard it, and set + off down the underground River. Your least + favourite COMPANION will probably die at this + point. After quite a few days you will come out + in a Hidden VALLEY, often occupied by DRAGONS. + This is the main way in which male Tourists get + to meet Dragons and you should not miss the + experience. Even if there are no Dragons, all + Tourists must expect to spend some days in a + cavern at some point in the Tour. +

+

+ CAVES + are smaller systems than CAVERNS and are + usually entered from somewhere beside a Blocked + MOUNTAIN PASS. You will stumble upon a Cave + either under a snowdrift or behind a jut of rock + just as night falls and you are too exhausted to + continue. There will be a stony front CHAMBER + big enough for HORSES and a cooking fire for + STEW, and a further Chamber at the back which + you will not discover straightaway. When you do, + you will find it contains either the missing ORB + or SCEPTRE you wanted or a carefully wrapped + pile of parchment SCROLLS which will give you + the KNOWLEDGE you needed. The Management has + directed you to this Cave on purpose. +

+

+ CHAMBER + is the regular word for your room at an INN and + for rooms in any other old buildings. This may + be to distinguish them from ordinary houses + (the room at the back of the hovel appeared to + be a sleeping place (OMT)) or PALACES. But even + here the throne room can be a Chamber, as in + silence fell throughout the whole vast Chamber + (OMT). CAVES have Chambers too, if you are + proposing to sleep in them, and TORTURE is + generally done in a specially designated + Chamber. Perhaps the Management just likes the + word. +

+

+ CHICKENS + are seen only after they have been cooked and + then only in PALACES, where the Rule is that you + eat chicken drumsticks with your fingers and + then throw the bones to the dogs. Eggs are very + rare. The hens of Fantasyland do not seem to lay + very well. They seem to be bred in unseen Palace + poultry yards purely for the pot. +

+

+ CHILBLAINS + are unheard of, however inclement the WEATHER. + This is probably because the Management lives + mostly in California. +

+

+ CHILDREN + are not commonly found on a TOUR. If a Child + appears and seems to wish to take part, be very + wary. She/he is likely to be either a God or the + MISSING HEIR to a Kingdom. In either case this + will make the Child unpredictable and + capricious. She/he will unquestionably involve + you in a great deal of trouble. +

+
+
+

+ See THIEVES’ GUILD for the only exception to + this Rule. +

+
+
+

+ CITADELS + are very strong BUILDINGS of thick black stone + made for defence. They are tall, with few and + slitty windows. Spiral staircases lead to a + battlemented top with a very wide view. Most + Citadels are at the centre point of a CITY and + are where you will all retreat when the ENEMY + has got inside the City walls and is burning and + sacking there. Naturally you will not need to + surrender. Down inside the Citadel are SECRET + PASSAGES + carved from the living rock (OMT) through which + you can escape into a CAVERN. Usually you will + have to leave quite a few defenders behind. Just + occasionally, the Citadel will belong to an Evil + WIZARD. In this case it will be all alone, + perched on a black crag that proves to be + honeycombed with passages (OMT), and the Tour + will get in through these. +

+
+
+

+ See also CASTLES and CONFRONTATIONS. +

+
+
+

+ CITIES + occur at the rate of one, or at the most two, + to every COUNTRY. They are usually where the + ruler lives, and they are surrounded by high + stone walls. For these reasons, they are going + to be under SIEGE around the time the Tour + arrives in them. Prepare for HARDSHIP as soon as + you see the walls in the distance. But first + prepare for a lot of noise and people (see + BEGGARS) and horsedrawn traffic. There will also + be multiple ALLEYS (where all the HORSE + droppings get pitched), many squares, and some + fine houses. The CASTLE or PALACE of the ruler + will be on a hill in the exact centre, with + TEMPLES somewhere near. The heads of malefactors + or enemies of the state will be on stakes + somewhere – you may recognise one of them as + having belonged to a GOOD man you encountered + earlier and rather liked – or perhaps there will + be picked-clean skeletons hanging in cages along + the sides of the streets, performing the same + function as streetlamps, except after dark (see + also EXECUTIONS). It is usually quite easy to + get into a City through the gates in the walls, + but not so easy to get out. When you wish to get + away, you will find the gates are shut at sunset + and are guarded at all times; you will need to + bluff your way through or adopt a disguise. But + this does not apply to Siege. The Rule is that, + in a Siege situation, you will be glad to stay + there and help until eventually you escape, + leaving the plucky citizens to their fate. +

+
+
+

+ See also CITY OF CANALS, CITY OF WIZARDS, OLD + RUINED CITY, and WALLED CITY. +

+
+
+

+ CITY OF CANALS. + This CITY is usually on a south or south-facing + coast and under the governance of MERCHANT + FEUDALISTS at their most crooked. The City is + pretty old and seems to have grown up from + settlements on a great number of islands in a + large RIVER delta; after a while, the channels + between island and island have become the canals + (dark (OMT), scummy (OMT)) and on their banks + houses have been built upon houses, mostly of + timber (rotting (OMT)), with WHARFS on top of that and + BRIDGES on and around those. The result is a + labyrinth of watery ways known only to the + inhabitants, who mostly get about in old, cranky + BOATS. The ruling MERCHANTS always live + somewhere at the centre in very beautiful houses + built of imported stone. They are totally + ruthless about wringing their money’s worth out + of the poorer folk and everything else, and + their laws are draconian. Not surprisingly, the + THIEVES’ GUILD is very strong here; one of the + Merchants is probably its Guildmaster. Murders + are frequent, and bodies drift up and down the + canals along with other REFUSE. The whole City + smells. +

+
+
+

+ It is essential that Tourists find some kind of + native guide in this place, or their throats + will be cut before nightfall (see DANGER), but, + with any luck, the Management will have thought + of this, and one of the Tour COMPANIONS will + turn out to have been born here. Failing that, + there will be a young lad to help (see THIEVES’ + GUILD). As a Tourist, you will be here to wring + some QUEST OBJECT or SECRET out of the + paranoically defended home of the beastliest of + the Merchants. You will be so lucky. But then + Tourists always are. +

+
+
+

+ CITY OF WIZARDS + is normally quite a GOOD thing, since only Good + WIZARDS seem able to live together. This CITY + will be on a hill in someplace that is + hidden/hard to get to and surrounded by inviting + green lands tilled by non-Wizard underlings, who + also perform all domestic chores. Houses will be + of stone, often white, and their shapes gracious + but odd. Perspective and distances will be a bit + strange too. If the effect of all this is rather + stately, the City will be full of white-robed + MYSTICAL MASTERS, out of whom no one will be + able to get any sense. If the effect is more + homely, the Wizards will be more like human + beings and may quarrel a lot – in fact, they + will seldom agree on anything. If the place is + organized as a college, do not expect anything + but Wizardly bickering. +

+
+
+

+ There have been Cities of EVIL Wizards in the + past. Tours will occasionally come across the + sites of these, reduced to glassy slag during + the ultimate disagreement. +

+
+
+

+ CLANS. + EYRIE CLANS (obviously), DESERT NOMADS, and + OTHER CONTINENTALISTS are always organized in + Clans. ANGLO-SAXON COSSACKS and BARBARY VIKINGS + sometimes are, and at times most other countries + have them one way or another. Clandom is + supposed to be a very close and special bonding. + Certainly a member of a Clan can call upon all + other members in an emergency and they will come + flocking in to help. But the easiest way to + think of it is as a civilized word for TRIBE, + where the obligations are just the same. In the + VESTIGIAL EMPIRE, the word for Clans or Tribes + is Houses, because the Empire is even more + civilized. Houses have politics, where Clans do + not. Clans and Houses both give rise to + ELITE. +

+
+
+

See also POLITICS.

+
+
+

+ CLIFF DWELLINGS. + See EYRIE CLANS, though some Other PEOPLES have + them too. The average Cliff Dwelling is high + up, + and approached by a rocky hidden staircase of + prodigious length. When you finally gasp your + way to the top, you will be instantly challenged + by an alert sentry carrying an outsized BIRD. If + he is satisfied that your business is important + enough, he will then lead you through a hitherto + unnoticed gap in the rock. Within, a natural + CAVE will have been infinitely enlarged to make + rooms, passages, galleries, and storeplaces, + most – but not all – with cunningly disguised + windows in the cliff face. It will be very + chilly (see HEATING), but only you will notice + the chill. The place will be organized like a + barracks, but the FOOD is always better than the + Fantasyland norm. You will get butter, honey, + fresh BREAD, and probably not STEW. The + Dwellers, though austere, will be friendly and + you can take a well-earned rest from DANGER and + HARDSHIP here. +

+

+ CLOAKS + are the universal outer garb of everyone who is + not a Barbarian. It is hard to see why. They are + open in front and require you at most times to + use one hand to hold them shut. On horseback + they leave the shirtsleeved arms and most of the + torso exposed to wind and WEATHER. The OMTs for + Cloaks well express their difficulties. They are + constantly swirling and dripping and becoming + heavy with water in rainy Weather, entangling + with trees or swords , or needing to be pulled + close around her/his shivering body. + This seems to suggest they are less than + practical for anyone on an arduous Tour. But + they do have one advantage. Female Cloaks + usually add a wide frilly hood, male Cloaks a + wide plain one, and neither of these adjuncts + ever gets blown from your head or lets water in + round the edges. So at least your head is + dry. +

+
+
+

+ It is thought that the real reason for the + popularity of Cloaks is that the inhabitants + like the look of themselves from the back. +

+
+
+

+ CLOTHING. + Although this varies from place to place, there + are two absolute rules: +

+
+
+

+ 1. Apart from ROBES, no garment thicker than a + SHIRT ever has sleeves. +

+

+ 2. No one ever wears SOCKS. +

+
+
+

+ See also CLOAKS, COSTUME, and KNITTING. +

+
+
+

+ COATS + do not exist in Fantasyland – CLOAKS being + universally preferred – but TURNCOATS do. +

+

+ COINAGE + has various names, according to which Tour you + choose, and will seem to be made of gold, + silver, and copper. Adjust to inflation and + think of it in dollars: a gold coin = $5, a + silver coin = $1, and copper coins are cents. + This system is easier than most European + currencies. +

+
+
+

See also MONEY.

+
+
+

+ COLOUR CODING + is very important in Fantasyland. Always pay + close attention to the colour of the CLOTHING, + hair, and eyes of anyone you meet. It will tell + you a great deal. Complexion is also important: + in many cases it is coded too. +

+
+
+

+ 1. Clothing. Black garments normally mean EVIL, + but in rare cases can mean sobriety, in which + case a white ruffled collar will be added to the + ensemble. Grey or red clothing means that the + person is neutral but tending to Evil in most + cases. Any other colour is GOOD, unless too many + bright colours are worn at once, in which + instance the person will be unreliable. Drab + colour means the person will take little part in + the action, unless the drab is also torn or + disreputable, when the person will be a lovable + rogue. +

+

+ 2. Hair. Black hair is Evil, particularly if + combined with a corpse-white complexion. Red + hair + always + entails magical POWERS, even if these are only + latent. Brown hair has to be viewed in + combination with eyes, whose colours are the + real giveaway (see below), but generally implies + niceness. Fair hair, especially if it is + silver-blond, always means goodness. +

+

+ 3. Eyes. Black eyes are invariably Evil; brown + eyes mean boldness and humour, but not + necessarily goodness; green eyes + always + entail TALENT, usually for MAGIC but sometimes + for MUSIC; hazel eyes are rare and seem + generally to imply niceness; grey eyes mean + POWER or healing abilities (see HEALERS) and + will be reassuring unless they look silver + (silver-eyed people are likely to enchant or + hypnotize you for their own ends, although they + are not always Evil); white eyes, usually blind + ones, are for wisdom (never ignore anything a + white-eyed person says); blue eyes are always + GOOD, the bluer the more Good present; and then + there are violet eyes and golden eyes. People + with violet eyes are often of Royal birth and, + if not, always live uncomfortably interesting + lives. People with golden eyes just live + uncomfortably interesting lives, and most of + them are rather fey in the bargain. Both these + types should be avoided by anyone who only wants + a quiet life. Luckily, it seldom occurs to those + with undesirable eye colours to disguise them by + ILLUSION, and they can generally be detected + very readily. Red eyes can never be disguised. + They are EVIL and surprisingly common. +

+

+ 4. Complexion. Corpse-white is Evil, and it + grades from there. Pink-faced folk are usually + midway and pathetic. The best face-colour is + brown, preferably tanned, but it can be inborn. + Other colours such as black, blue, mauve, and + yellow barely exist. +

+
+
+

+ So, if your acquaintance is wearing green and + is blue-eyed and brown-faced, she/he will be + OK. + Caution: Do not apply these standards to our own + world. You are very likely to be + disappointed. +

+
+
+

+ COMBAT RING. + See PRACTICE RING and SCHOOL OF WEAPONRY. +

+

+ COMMON COLD. + This is one of many viral nuisances not + present. You can get as wet, cold, and tired as + you like, and you will still not catch cold. But + see PLAGUE. +

+

+ COMMON TONGUE. + See LANGUAGES. +

+

+ COMPANIONS + are chosen for you by the Management. You will + normally meet them for the first time at the + outset of the Tour. They are picked from among + the following: BARD, FEMALE MERCENARY, GAY MAGE, + IMPERIOUS FEMALE, LARGE MAN, SERIOUS SOLDIER, + SLENDER YOUTH, SMALL MAN, TALENTED GIRL, TEENAGE + BOY, UNPLEASANT STRANGER, and WISE OLD STRANGER. + Most parties will have at least one of these and + may also occasionally include one or two of the + other PEOPLES, usually small ones. +

+

+ CONCLUSION. + For this you will have to undertake the third + (or possibly the fifth) Tour of the trilogy. If + you do not immediately book for the whole set, + you may well find yourself stranded halfway + across the continent without having completed + your QUEST or discovered your BIRTHRIGHT. And + the DARK LORD will still be a menace. A little + extra money will soon dispel these + inconveniences, and you may then have the + pleasure of seeing the continent torn asunder in + the Final CONFRONTATION. This is a spectacular + sight and should not be missed. +

+

+ CONFRONTATIONS. + These will occur with mounting intensity as the + Tour proceeds, and will fall into one or other + of the following classes: +

+
+
+

+ 1. + Small Friendly Confrontations. This will be + when you meet your Tour COMPANIONS and the + MERCHANT in whose CARAVAN you intend to travel. + Later, you meet a friend aboard the Slave GALLEY + or in contest as a GLADIATOR. You then encounter + TRAVELLING FOLK and a SEER or Astrologer (see + ASTROLOGY). You have an argument with your SWORD + or an ORB. You chat up a SLAVE of the opposite + sex. You hire a Necromancer (see NECROMANCY). + You receive reports from a GOOD SPY. You + encounter an old General of the VESTIGIAL + EMPIRE/the WEAPONMASTER. You have solemn + meetings with EYRIE CLANS/WOODSMEN and + telepathic BIRDS. A HERBWOMAN/HEDGE + WIZARD/HEALER comes to your rescue in the + MOUNTAINS. A BARD recites to you a vital + LEGEND. +

+

+ 2. + Small Hostile Confrontations. This term refers + to the intruder with a DAGGER in your CHAMBER in + the INN, the AMBUSH by BANDITS, and your first + brush with the forces of the Dark. You also spot + a SPY. Later there are PIRATES on the INLAND SEA + and a MINION OF THE DARK LORD on the OTHER + CONTINENT. You are brought before an + ENCHANTRESS. You are almost killed by a hostile + COURTIER/beard a fat PRINCE/have to spend time + with a BARON. + You are caught by a prehensile TREE. You face + down GUARDS and torturers. You are captured by + GOBLINS and their chieftain insults you. You + come up against WERES, who are not open to + reason. +

+

+ 3. + Small Ambiguous Confrontations. You meet your + Tour MENTOR and the UNPLEASANT STRANGER. You are + cheated by a FERRYMAN or RIVER Travellers. You + have a run-in with DWARFS, GNOMES, or DESERT + NOMADS. You try to get MONEY from a COUNCIL. You + meet a GHOST/ELEMENTAL. You are captured by + MARSH DWELLERS and have LANGUAGE problems. You + come upon a NUNNERY and talk to the survivor. + You try to persuade ISLANDERS that their ISLAND + is about to be inundated. The Tour enters a + VILLAGE and is rendered uncomfortable by the + attitude of the Dwellers. You make the mistake + of looking into a Prophetic POOL. +

+

+ 4. + Medium-Sized Friendly Confrontations. You meet + your first KING or the VESTIGIAL EMPEROR. Later + you talk to a DRAGON or friendly DEMON. You stay + the night with a Good WIZARD, who shows you some + remarkable pieces of KNOWLEDGE. You find ELVES, + a college of WITCHES, enter a CITY, or attempt + to understand a MYSTICAL MASTER. You persuade a + HIGH PRIESTESS to help you and your COMPANIONS. + You arrive at the STEPPES/SNOWBOUND NORTH + and run into crowds of ANGLO-SAXON + COSSACKS/BARBARY VIKINGS/NORTHERN BARBARIANS. + You are told home truths by a STONE + CIRCLE. +

+

+ 5. Medium-Sized Hostile Confrontations. You + face a HIGH PRIEST and his deity, a REGENT, a + bad or puppet KING. You try to get the better of + an Evil COUNCILLOR. You reject the overtures of + a bad QUEEN. You face and repulse hostile + MAGICS. You fall foul of RELIGION in the FANATIC + CALIPHATES. You come face-to-face with an Evil + WIZARD or a red-eyed MINION OF THE DARK LORD. + You fight a MONSTER or two. You confront the + ENEMY in a SIEGE. +

+

+ 6. Medium-Sized Ambiguous Confrontations. You + encounter loose lumps of MAGIC or guardians of a + QUEST OBJECT or enter the HIDDEN KINGDOM and + attempt to make sense of its inhabitants. You + try to argue with a WOOD. +

+

+ 7. Large Friendly Confrontations. You and your + COMPANIONS tout for support among the GOOD + rulers. There is a long and verbose COUNCIL OF + WAR. +

+

+ 8. Large Hostile Confrontations. There is + all-out WAR between GOOD and EVIL. You face down + the strongest of the MINIONS OF THE DARK + LORD. +

+

+ 9. The Final Confrontation, or Last Battle. You + get your chance to finish the DARK LORD at last. + In the process a large part of Fantasyland gets + destroyed. +

+
+
+

+ COOK. + Presiding over all KITCHENS is the Cook, who + can be male or female, although males + predominate in CASTLES and PALACES and females + in INNS. Every single one of them has a filthy + temper. This gets worse in direct proportion to + the amount of cooking they do, and is clearly + even worse if the Cook is required to cook + something else besides STEW. Any scullion of + Kitchen helper in reach during these trying + times is bound to have an awful experience. But + there is a bright side. Cooks divide into fat + and thin. Fat Cooks are really kindly + underneath, in which case the Kitchen helper has + extra food to look forward to. Thin Cooks, on + the other hand, are mean right through. In this + case the Kitchen helper can look forward only to + an evening without supper and maybe a beating + too. +

+

+ COSTUME. + It is a curious fact that, in Fantasyland, the + usual Rules for CLOTHING are reversed. Here, the + colder the climate, the fewer the garments worn. + In the SNOWBOUND NORTH, the BARBARIAN HORDES + wear little more than a fur loincloth and copper + wristguards (see CHILBLAINS and HYPOTHERMIA). + However, as one progresses south to reach the + ANGLO-SAXON COSSACKS, one finds VESTS and BOOTS + added to this costume. Further south still, the + inhabitants of the VESTIGIAL EMPIRE wear short + SKIRTS and singlets and ass to this a voluminous + wrapper on cold days. Thereafter, clothing + steadily increases in thickness and quantity, + until one finds the DESERT NOMADS in the tropics + muffled to the eyebrows in layers of ROBES (see + HEATSTROKE). +

+

+ COUNCIL. + Although other Councils exist, this term refers + primarily to the group of twelve or so + unpleasing men who rule the MERCHANT FEUDALISTS, + because they do not trust one another enough to + let one person do the ruling. The OMT for these + is corrupt , but they are also cruel and greedy, + and they will combine to get rid of anyone who + seems to threaten their power. Most Tours do + this, so be prepared for Councils to have you + Assassinated or put in PRISON on sight. You will + find the Council meeting in a lavish + CHAMBER + (OMT) with a breathtakingly ornamental ceiling + and gold everywhere. Likely they will be eating + and drinking gourmet stuff as well, and each + member will have different gorgeous ROBES, + covered with JEWELS and gold EMBROIDERY. Some + will be piggishly (swinishly (OMT)) fat, some thin and wrinkled, + but it makes no difference. They are all pure + poison. Above all avoid being owed MONEY by + them: you will never get it. +

+

+ COUNCILLORS + are those who advise a KING. Nine-tenths of + them are EVIL. These will be of youngish + middle age, with nothing aside from the REEK OF + WRONGNESS + (OMT) to give away the fact that they report + directly to the DARK LORD. They will be busy + giving the King bad advice and generally messing + up the COUNTRY, and they will not welcome the + Tour at all. After making efforts to send it on + its way, they will normally contrive to have + every Tourist imprisoned. You must escape and + unmask (OMT) the Councillor concerned. The other + tenth of Councillors are GOOD and grave and + elderly. Many of them have been soldiers. You + can rely on them to understand (OMT) when the + monarch does not. +

+

+ COUNTRIES + have ill-defined boundaries, but on the whole + correspond to each of the PEOPLES listed, + although under various names at the whim of the + Management. Most will be ruled by KINGS, + TYRANTS, REGENTS, CLAN Chieftains, or members of + a priestly caste. The exception is any country + of the MERCHANT FEUDALISTS, where the ruling + class trusts one another so little that they + rule as a COUNCIL. Do not expect democracy + anywhere. Do not expect, either, to find one + Country bordering on another: there are always + large empty/ungoverned areas in between, where + there will be forests, WASTE AREAS, or even + VILLAGES. No ruler since the VESTIGIAL EMPIRE + seems to have got her/his act together + sufficiently to claim this spare land. +

+

+ COURTIERS + are mainly extras hired by the Management for + all scenes in PALACES. Male and female Courtiers + will be standing or strutting about, wearing the + richest and most exaggerated fashions, and + staring or gasping at the manners and dress of + the Tourists. Courtiers never sit down. They + whisper in groups, trying to gain the favour of + the monarch. Very few of them are nice people. + If they are, they will be quite young, with + NAMES like Daren or Lynthelle, and they will + help you a lot with the strange customs at + Court. Nasty Courtiers have sneering names like + Blyfil and Myrna. If you learn their Names it + will be because the man will challenge you to a + duel (and possibly POISON his sword tip) and the + woman will make bitchy remarks and spread + rumours. Myrna often turns out to be a MAGIC + USER too. She will cast SPELLS to make all + Tourists look fools and to seduce any male + Tourists. +

+

+ CRONE. + On most Tours a ragged old woman, sometimes of + a wild or sinister demeanour, tends to crop up + by the wayside in moments of stress, + hobbling (OMT) and cackling (OMT). If the Tour + has lost its way, she will misdirect it, usually + throwing in a few GNOMIC UTTERANCES of a + depressing nature as she does so. If the Tour + takes in a public EXECUTION, this Crone will be + present at it busily knitting (OMT). Since + KNITTING is not a normal mortal skill, it is + clear that this old lady is an ASPECT of some + GODDESS or other. +

+

+ CRYSTAL + can be almost any colour. It can be set in a + RING, suspended on a chain as a pendant, or be + just a lump on its own. It is Fantasyland’s + equivalent of the telephone, with attached + vision. Through Crystal, most MAGIC USERS and + some ordinary people can communicate with the + WIZARD of their choice over quite long + distances. The operator simply leans over the + Crystal and concentrates. Shortly a small but + extremely clear image of the Wizard forms within + it and can be heard to speak. Crystal usually + takes over where MINDSPEECH leaves off. +

+
+
+

See also CRYSTAL BALL.

+
+
+

+ CRYSTAL BALL. + You look into one of these and see + vapours swirling like clouds + (OMT). These shortly clear away to show a sort + of video without sound of something that is + going to happen to you soon. It is seldom good + news. +

+
+
+

+ See also CRYSTAL and PROPHECY. +

+
+
+

+ CUPS + are goblets that look rather like golf + trophies. You can tell they are important + because nobody tries to drink out of them. This + is actually silly, because the least a Cup can + do is negate POISON. Cups either turn up in + hoards of TREASURE or are carefully hidden, + packed in a casket, under an ALTAR or somewhere + similar. Just occasionally, an ENCHANTRESS will + flourish one at you. You will want to take it + away from her. This Cup is your QUEST OBJECT. It + has Powers, though these are often vague and not + always demonstrated. Probably it is best to + think of a Cup as a sort of superGrail. +

+

+ CURSES + are long-standing ill-wishings which, in + Fantasyland, often manifest as semi-sentient. + They have to be broken or dispelled. The method + varies according to the type and origins of the + Curse: +

+
+
+

+ 1. + Curses on lands. These can be caused either by + defects in the KING or lord or by direct + malevolence of the DARK LORD. Usually the land + turns to Waste in various ways, but if it is a + true Curse, there will be a slimy lump of miasma + somewhere, or a MONSTER exuding EVIL. You have + to find this and torch it. +

+

+ 2. + Curses on families. These will have been put on + generations ago, causing the family to lose + money, to give birth to cripples, and generally + to be low and disheartened. These Curses are + difficult. The correct way to raise one is to + get the person who did it to take it off. But + she/he is probably dead by now. Sometimes a + descendant can do as well. If not, the best + thing is to force the family into some noble + deed on behalf of a God. The God can then remove + the Curse. +

+

+ 3. Curses on BUILDINGS. You can tell when a + Building (usually a MANSION) is Cursed: it will + feel cold as a grave, and some of the roof will + be missing and pieces will keep dropping off on + you. This type of Curse probably takes a PRIEST + or WIZARD and an exorcism to raise. For some + reason, DEMONS usually have a hand in this sort + of Curse. +

+

+ 4. Curses on RINGS and SWORDS. You have + problems. Rings have to be returned whence they + came, preferably at over a thousand degrees + Centigrade, and the Curse means you won’t want + to do this. Swords usually resist all attempts + to raise their Curses. Your best course is to + hide the Sword or give it to someone you + dislike. +

+

+ 5. Curses on people. Here the one laying the + Curse has obtained your toenail, one of your + hairs, or your true NAME, and possibly also made + a wax image of you which she/he proceeds to + mistreat. You will have racking pains and + monstrous bad luck until you find the missing + bit of you and get it back. +

+

+ 6. Curses with conditions. These are the easy + kind. The Curser has probably stated that the + Curse will be lifted only when the INLAND SEA is + dry. You just have to arrange for this to + happen. +

+
+

 

+

+
+

D

+

+ Doras II was a somewhat absentminded king. It + is said that, when Death came to summon him, + Doras granted Death the usual formal audience + and then dismissed him from his presence. Death + was too embarrassed to return until many years + later. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, + Gnomic Utterances, + LIV iii +

+
+
+

+ DAGGERS + are of three main kinds: +

+
+
+

+ 1. + A slender stabbing WEAPON worn on the belt, in + the boot, or up the shirtsleeve as backup to the + SWORD, or as the thing with which your assailant + intends to kill you. Everyone uses these. They + are like knives with a narrower blade. +

+

+ 2. + Ceremonial. + This is fancier and is usually worn as part of + a uniform (outmoded (OMT)) and will not have changed its + pattern for centuries. Be careful when you see + someone with one of these. It indicates that + she/he is about to attack you when you have no + weapon yourself. You will, after a bout of + unarmed combat, be forced to kill this person + with her/his own ceremonial Dagger. +

+

+ 3. + Mercy blades. These are spare Daggers carried + in a special place by most MERCENARIES and + WARRIOR WOMEN and some DESERT NOMADS; they use + the Daggers to kill themselves or their friends + when survival is out of the question. Expect at + least once on the Tour to have to finish one of + these people off with her/his own mercy blade, + usually at the person’s own request. +

+
+
+

+ DANGER + is everywhere in Fantasyland. + You will be in Danger from the first step you + take on your Tour, starting with the intruder + with a knife on your first night, then running + through ASSASSINS and DEMONS on to WIZARDS and + bad QUEENS and finally the DARK LORD – not to + speak of AMBUSHES in between and subtle Dangers + devised by ENCHANTRESSES. You will spend a lot + of time fleeing. In order not to live in a state + of perpetual abject Terror, you must remember + that in Fantasyland, Danger has an actual SMELL. + (REEK OF WRONGNESS + is the general OMT for it.) Watch for this + Smell. HORSES are good at detecting it. When + there is any threat to safety, they have their + heads up scenting danger (OMT). Learn to + recognize what the Horses are sniffing and from + then on you can relax until the moment you smell + it. +

+

+ DARK LADY. + There is never one of these – so see DARK LORD + instead. The Management considers that male Dark + Ones have more potential to be sinister, and + seldom if ever employs a female in this role. + This is purely because the Management was born + too late to meet my Great Aunt Clara. +

+

+ DARK LORD + (dread lord + (OMT)). There is always one of these in the + background of every Tour, attempting to ruin + everything and take over the world. He will be + so sinister that he will be seen by you only + once or twice, probably near the end of the + Tour. Generally he will attack you through + MINIONS (forces of Terror, bound to his will (OMT)), of + which he will have large numbers. When you do + get to see him at last, you will not be + surprised to find he is black (see COLOUR + CODING) and shadowy and probably not wholly + human. He will make you feel very cold and + small. Actually, when it comes down to it, that + is probably all he will do, having almost + certainly exhausted his other resources earlier + on. You should be able to defeat him, with a + little help from your COMPANIONS, without too + much effort. However, the Rules state that at + this stage you will be exhausted yourself and + possibly wounded by MAGIC. So be careful. +

+

+ DEMONS + are less + frequent on the Tour than they used to be. Most + of them have followed VAMPIRES and WERES over to + the Horror Tour, possibly because people evoke + them more there. Nevertheless, quite a few + remain and must be treated with caution or, + preferably, shunned. The Management itself is + quite good at shunning. It is often very hard to + discover what any given Demon looks like, apart + from a general impression of large size, huge + fangs, staring eyes, many limbs, and an odd + colour; but all accounts agree that Demons are + very powerful, very Magic (in a nonhuman manner) + and made of some substance that can squeeze + through a keyhole yet not be pierced with a + SWORD. This makes them difficult to deal with, + even on the rare occasions when they are + friendly. Demons are sometimes found batting + about loose, but mostly they appear to live + elsewhere entirely and must therefore be invoked + by NAME (often hard to pronounce) and confined + within a PENTAGRAM or Magic circle while they + are given their orders. Tourists are advised to + leave all this sort of thing to Wizards and + never, ever attempt to bargain with a Demon + themselves. The Rule is that all Demons are + cheats. +

+

+ DESERT + occurs very suddenly some way south – usually, + but not always, at the edge of the grassy plain + where the crows will SPY on you (see BIRDS). It + is of course very hot and dry there, and the + sand dunes roll away to the horizon like waves + of a frozen sea (OMT), When you reach the + Desert, be prepared to be in it for days and to + experience at least one sandstorm, either + magical or natural, before you run out of WATER. + Sometime after that, but not until then, you + will encounter someone from the DESERT NOMADS, + who will usually gallop away without talking to + you. Never fear. She/he has only gone to wa rn + the rest of the CLAN that they have + visitors. +

+
+
+

+ One odd fact about the Desert is that, + considering the unrivalled opportunities it + gives for ILLUSIONS, mirages are nearly + nonexistent here. No WIZARD seems yet to have + got to work on this. +

+
+
+

+ DESERT NOMADS + occupy the hot parts to the south, which is + either DESERT or rather parched grass. For some + reason + this is ideal TERRAIN for breeding HORSES, of + which all Nomad CLANS have huge numbers. The + Clans move from place to place, each in their + own areas, with their wondrous TENTS, flocks, + and Horses, but tend to muster at least once a + year for religious reasons. Desert Nomads + usually have a GODDESS and are always hot on + RELIGION. They also have lots of wisdom and + KNOWLEDGE, much of which is in the head of the + SHAMAN allotted to each Clan. Tourists will come + to this PEOPLE to learn. But be prepared for two + peculiarities. First, unlike the northerly + Clans, Desert Nomads allow their women to do + everything the men do. Second, both sexes are + always swathed from head to foot (OMT) in ROBES, + though they may have all sorts of finery + underneath. They seem to have a TABOO on legs: + no Nomad ever shows her/his legs in public, even + when riding flat out astride a STALLION. +

+

+ DOMESTIC ANIMALS + are as rare as wild ANIMALS. In most cases + their existence can be proved only by + deduction. Thus, sheep must exist, because + people wear wool, and so must cattle, as there + is usually cheese to eat. Cats are seen in + company with WITCHES and CRONES, often in large + numbers, but seldom elsewhere, and there have + been sightings also of solitary pigs; possibly + in Fantasyland cats are herd animals whereas + pigs are not. + Goats are seen oftener (and may even provide + the cheese) and dogs are frequent but often + rather feral – the arrival of the Tour party at + a VILLAGE is usually greeted by barking dogs. + Dogs are also kept in numbers by KINGS and + nobles, where their job is to be scavengers: you + throw bones on the floor and the dogs fight for + them. These hounds cannot be kept for hunting + (except perhaps for hunting men and MUTANT + NASTIES), as there are no Animals to hunt. +

+
+
+

+ The thoughtful Tourist might like to pause here + and consider, since Animals are so rare, what + exactly the meat is that the Management puts in + its STEW. +

+
+
+

+ DONKEYS + are rare and are reserved for the use of MONKS + and humble but friendly WIZARDS. In each case + the relevant APPRENTICE or NOVICE will follow on + foot. +

+

+ DRAGONS + are very large scaly beings with wings and long + spiky tails, capable of breathing fire through + their mouths. They can be almost any colour or combination + of colours, though green, red, and black are + preferred. They are always very old. Most of + them seem to have flown to Fantasyland aeons ago + across the void. This migration was almost + certainly to get away from our world, where + people would insist that they were dangerous + MONSTERS that had to be exterminated. +

+
+
+

+ Dragons, as all Fantasyland knows, are no such + thing. They quite like people, provided you can + get their attention. They are very wise and can + do MAGIC of a type not known to other MAGIC + USERS. But they do not have human emotions. This + can cause misunderstandings, if Tourists are + trying to make friends with them. Female + Tourists are best at this. Dragons seem to be in + tune with the female mind. A friendly Dragon + will airlift female Tourists to the OFFSHORE + ISLAND where most Dragons live. A male Tourist + will have to wait to meet Dragons until he has + been through the CAVERNS that lead to the Hidden + VALLEY, where Dragons also live; or until the + Dragons have joined the forces of GOOD for the + Final CONFRONTATION. Even then, the relationship + is likely to be a bit edgy. This is because + Dragons can, if they want, eat people. +

+
+
+

+ DREAMS. + While you are on the Tour, your psyche is in + the care of the Management, who will when + necessary provide you with Dreams. You should + always attend to these, particularly when they + are repeated next night in the same form. They + occupy the same slot as LEGENDS. They will be + telling you something you need to know for the + next phase of your Tour, but they will not be + doing so very clearly. You will need to think a + bit. +

+
+
+

+ See also PROPHECY and VISIONS. +

+
+
+

+ DUKES. + This is the highest form of lord, often one of + the KING’s family. Very few of them are GOOD and + most of them are wicked uncles at the very + least. The few Good Dukes are always frantically + busy and beset with cares of state (OMT). The + Rule is that all Dukes, Good or EVIL, are always + forty years old or more. See also REGENTS. +

+

+ DUNGEONS + are the first thing to be built when anyone is + planning a large BUILDING. Even Town Halls tend + to have them. The Rules state that Dungeons are + damp and small and a long way underground. If + the Tourist being confined is lucky, there will + be a small barred window too high up to reach, + through which the contents of the moat trickle, + and old (fetid (OMT), filthy (OMT)) straw on the ground. + There will be a thick door (locked) with a small + shutter in it where what passes (only just) for + FOOD can be thrown in at prisoners, generally + dropping tantalizingly an inch out of reach, and + there will always be rings in the walls carrying + chains and sometimes old bones too. It is all + designed to make you feel low. There may even be + scatterings (OMT) that could be rats (but see + ANIMALS). Do not, however, let this get you + down. The average stay in such a place is, for + Tourists, twenty-four hours. If the Dungeon is a + pit of the type called an oubliette, on the + other hand, you are justified in slight + melancholy. It will be several days before + someone lowers a rope to you and hauls you + out. +

+
+
+

See also PRISON.

+
+
+

+ DWARFS + are short, muscular, bearded PEOPLE much given + to mining and forging. They live mostly hidden + inside hills, where they do their mining. Until + recently, almost no female Dwarfs had been + sighted, but now they are seen quite often. They + do not always have beards, but seem to be squat + like the males. All Dwarfs, perhaps through + living so long immured in DWARVEN FASTNESSES, + have a very old-fashioned, surly demeanour. They + bow a lot, but also grumble. They recite long + epics about the marvellous deeds of their + ancestors. The advantage of their old-fashioned + ways, however, is that they are very honourable + and always keep their word once they have been + induced to give it. They will join the forces of + GOOD and supply ARMOUR, but before this the Tour + may well have a difficult time with them. Dwarfs + will take all Tourists prisoner for trespassing + in their Fastness, and it will involve much + persuasive talking to get them to be + friendly. +

+

+ DWARVEN FASTNESS. + A wondrous place. It normally occupies the + whole inside of a MOUNTAIN. It has concealed + gates, often protected by RUNES. Inside, there + is gallery after gallery carved out of the + Mountain, usually ornamented with Dwarven + sculpture and JEWELS. It will be lit by torches + or glowbaskets. There never seems to be any + domestic quarter for females, children, or + cooking: it is all fabulous hallways. The place + is so many-levelled and labyrinthine that + Tourists easily become lost there. As they + blunder along, DWARFS will capture them and drag + them to the Central Hall, which is often rougher + and more workaday than the rest of the place. + Possibly the Dwarfs keep most of it as a + historical monument. On occasions, the Fastness + will be deserted, long-abandoned. Here a MAP or + guide is essential. +

+

+ DWELL + is the word used throughout the Tour meaning to + live somewhere. The inhabitants are always + Dwellers (OMT). +

+

 

+
+

+
+

E

+

+ Energies are far-reaching things. The Sage + Morinden once fetched himself a lemon from a + distant galaxy and felt much refreshed. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, + Gnomic Utterances, + XIII i +

+
+
+

+ EATING IMPLEMENTS + are minimal. The most usual provided is a SPOON + for STEW. Otherwise you are expected to use your + knife or DAGGER to eat with. +

+

+ ECOLOGY. + The Ecology of Fantasyland is in a bad way. It + is full of empty niches. To start with, there + are few or no bacteria. We can see this by the + way REFUSE and other pieces of SQUALOR lie about + in heaps which fail to rot down. To add to this, + there are few or no INSECTS (except for fleas, + some localized bees, numerous silkworms + somewhere in the FANATIC CALIPHATES, and clouds + of mosquitoes in the MARSHES). Both these empty + niches mean that all crops will be poor; perhaps + this explains the crop failures more usually + blamed on MAGIC or the personality defects of + KINGS. There are also very few BIRDS. In the + absence of bacteria and Insects, one might + expect plants and Birds to adapt so that Birds + do the pollinating as well as their normal task + of spreading the seeds, but this is not the + case. The one species that seems to be moving + into the niche normally occupied by Birds is the + LEATHERY-WINGED AVIANS, but these are predators, + not seedfeeders or pollinators. (And, in the + absence of ANIMALS, we have to ask what exactly + the Leathery-Winged Avian feeds on. Perhaps we + should conjecture the existence of lots of juicy + little bats? These would come forth silently at + night and therefore remain largely + unobserved.) +

+
+
+

+ So there is no means of improving the soil, or + of pollination, or of seed-spreading. Constant + magical irradiation seems to have destroyed it + all. It seems to have destroyed also any large + wild predator mammals and most ruminants. This + is a pity. These larger Animals would ordinarily + do their part be spreading dung and carrying + seeds in their coats. In their absence, we + should not be surprised that so many TREES have + become mobile: they have to move about in order + to find more fertile ground and shed their seeds + in it. +

+

+ Plants might be expected to adapt to these + conditions by evolving to become + wind-pollinated. Few of them have. In the empty + heathlands left by the shrinking of the + VESTIGIAL EMPIRE, just where we might expect + wind pollination to happen, Tour after Tour + reports sparse vegetation and no food Animals or + Birds. Clearly not enough plants are getting + pollinated to support small creatures here, + which in turn would support larger ones. The + food chains are in a bad way. +

+

+ We come to the reasons for all this in the + WASTE AREAS left desolate by the WIZARDS’ WAR. + There was fierce magical pollution here and its + effects are still seeping out into the rest of + the continent. Tourists who visit these sites + report that the magical irradiation has resulted + in hungry slimes, dark twisted plants that try + to eat people in a variety of ingenious ways, + and numerous highly active Animals with a taste + for human flesh. This is most encouraging. All + these living things – along with MONSTERS and + MUTANT NASTIES – are flourishing and spreading + with a strength and vitality that suggest that + in time to come they will move out into all the + vacant ecological niches. Fantasyland will + become filled with aggressive plants and vicious + animals. Humans will find themselves near the + bottom of every food chain. All will be well. + Unfortunately, it will be several hundred years + before this happens. +

+
+
+

+ ECONOMY. + The Economy of Fantasyland is as full of holes + as its ECOLOGY. Most areas seem self-sufficient + in a hand-to-mouth, depressed way, and very + poor, since WEATHER and magical pollution seem + regularly to cause a shortage of food crops. But + some areas, notably among the MERCHANT + FEUDALISTS and the FANATIC CALIPHATES, appear to + carry on considerable trade by sea and land. + Both areas support large ARMIES, either + MERCENARY or conscript. This shows that both + have healthy trade balances. But it is hard to + know where their trade comes from. PIRATES on + both the open sea and the INLAND SEA make sure + that few SHIPS arrive at their destination, and + on land BANDITS intercept most CARAVANS. Neither + Pirates nor Bandits seem to recirculate the + wealth they acquire. Yet there is considerable + wealth in places, for the THIEVES’ GUILD is + never out of business and frequently possesses + itself of remarkably valuable purses and + artifacts. CITIES where the Guild operates all + seem to thrive. Where does the wealth come from? + Now add to this the facts that two-thirds of the + continent is out of action as a producer of + wealth, by reason of the polluted WASTE AREAS, + and that large quantities of precious metal are + also out of circulation under DRAGONS, in lost + treasuries, or by reason of being enchanted into + an unusable condition; and the mystery deepens. + Add to this again the very small signs of any + INDUSTRY, and one begins to ask oneself just how + the Economy is maintained. The VESTIGIAL EMPIRE + seems central to the mystery. Here we have a + large civilized area in the centre of the + landmass, with a vigorous Economy, large + building programmes, faultless engineering, and + full employment. But no industry. How is this + managed? One has to suppose that regularly + paying Tours from other worlds secretly support + the whole tottering edifice. +

+
+
+

+ See also IMPORT/EXPORT. +

+
+
+

+ ELEMENTALS + fairly frequently adopt visible form and + sometimes even show off to Tourists. A typical + Elemental is seen as a whirling cloud of dust, + in or just outside the DESERT. It is not clear + whether this is an earth or an air Elemental. + Perhaps it can be either. Elementals exist for + many other things beside the earth, air, fire, + and water that the Tourist will know from + her/his own world, and in all categories are + much more numerous. Ice Elementals are common, + IRON not unknown, and Fog or MIST ones have been + sighted. WIZARDS will often summon an Elemental + to help in their work. The preferred, but most + dangerous, kind are FIRE Elementals, which can + take the form of a human or ANIMAL made of + flames. These, like all Elementals, are + mischievous and unreliable, and can easily set + everything in sight ablaze if not carefully + controlled. +

+
+
+

+ Most Elementals can take on quasi-human form, + but Tourists are advised to refrain from + chatting with them. You might put ideas into + their quasi-heads that would be hard to + dislodge. For instance, if you expressed + pleasure in a cool breeze the Elemental would + thereafter follow you around for weeks blowing + half a gale. +

+
+
+

+ ELITE + are the people who, while not being PRINCES or + PRINCESSES necessarily, are nevertheless + destined for great things. They have star + quality. Most of them will have sprung from + humble-to-medium backgrounds and will have had + Sorrows. Usually they have been cast out of a + CLAN, but some of them have simply been orphaned + at an early age. In neither case will they tell + you their troubles until you know them really + well. Meanwhile, the events the Gods have chosen + them for will be catching up with both of you. + If an Elite joins your Tour, expect a lot of + INCIDENTS. +

+
+
+

+ See also MISSING HEIRS. +

+
+
+

+ ELVES + claim to have been the first PEOPLE in + Fantasyland. They are called the Elder Race. + They did not, they claim, evolve like humans, + but sprang into being just as they are now. + Certainly there seems to be no such thing as an + Elvish ancestral ape, or if there was it existed + too long ago for any sign of it to remain. The + Elves’ claim is borne out to some extent by the + well-attested fact that their flesh is less + gross and substantial than that of humans. This + fineness of substance seems to be what makes + them IMMORTAL (although not invulnerable: they + can be killed). In looks, Elves are taller and + more slender than any humans, and very + beautiful. Most of them appear youthful. Only + rarely does an Elf show signs of age. Then + she/he is very wise. The majority have flowing + blond or ash-blond hair and huge blue-green + eyes, though the odd few are dark (see COLOUR + CODING). A dark Elf, even if not allied with + EVIL, is likely to be even more standoffish and + equivocal in her/his attitude to humans than a + fair one; but all Elves feel themselves superior + to humans and make it very clear that they do + not operate by human rules. +

+
+
+

+ This is true, in that all of them can do some + MAGIC, surround themselves at will with a silver + or blue-green nimbus, and move freely in and out + of other dimensions. But their most impressive + Magic is always communal. In groups, Elves can + create warded magical space, conjure meals, + hollow out hills, and put on spectacular + displays of riding through the air. Much of this + group Magic is done by singing. All Elves sing, + usually in beautiful unearthly voices. (See + MUSIC and WARDS.) Elves generally live in some + sort of magical side-skewed reality, sometimes + called Otherwhere or Elsewhere, which can be + reached only through certain spots in WOODS, + MOUNTAINS, Hidden VALLEYS, or even underwater, + making them elusive and hard to encounter or + study. Much of their customs, economy, and way + of life is still obscure. All that is known is + that Elves owe allegiance to powerful KINGS and + QUEENS, who can at times be rather frightening. + But Elves have made a contract with the + Management that ensures that the Tourist will + encounter Elves at least once on a Tour. Here + you may be in for a treat. Despite fleshly + differences, Elves can interbreed with humans. + They may even be the only Other PEOPLE who can. + And offspring seldom result, since the Elven + birthrate was always low and has become lower in + recent times. +

+

+ In fact, Elves appear to have deteriorated + generally since the coming of humans. If you + meet Elves, expect to have to listen for hours + while they tell you about this – many Elves are + great bores on the subject – and about what + glories there were in ancient days. They will + intersperse their account with nostalgic ditties + (songs of aching beauty (OMT)) and conclude by + telling you how great numbers of Elves have + become so wearied with the thinning of the old + golden wonders that they have all departed, + departed into the West. This is correct, + provided you take it with the understanding that + Elves do not say anything quite straight. Many + Elves have indeed gone west, to Minnesota and + thence to California, and finally to Arizona, + where they have great fun wearing punk clothes + and riding motorbikes. +

+
+
+

+ EMBROIDERY + is very frequent on CLOTHING, banners, + hangings, and cushions, and badges are + Embroidered on most uniforms. A lot of it is + beautiful, and there is so much of it that there + must be the equivalent of factories devoted to + making it. But no Tour is ever taken round + these. The only people the Tourist will see + actually engaged in Embroidery will be ladies of + high birth. And they can’t do all of it. Can + they? +

+
+
+

+ ENCHANTMENT. + This is the Management’s term for manipulative + MAGIC. Under its influence you will feel nice, + become dreamy, and find yourself doing something + you would not otherwise do. Enchantment can be + worked for both GOOD and EVIL ends. For Good, it + tends to be used to make trusted GUARDS leave + their posts at crucial times. For Evil, it is + used to make Tourists walk into a trap set by + the MINIONS OF THE DARK LORD or even the DARK + LORD himself. +

+
+
+

+ See also ENCHANTRESS and SPELLS. +

+
+
+

+ ENCHANTRESS + is another word for “seductress,” only with + more punch. The one assigned to your Tour will + be very beautiful, with red or black hair and + probably a startling bosom, all of it magically + enhanced. She will have you captured (in her toils (OMT)), usually by MAGIC, just + over halfway through the Tour – whereupon she + will proceed to seduce you if you are male; if + you are female she will do something bitchily + enchanting to you instead. +

+

+ ENEMY. + The marvelous thing about Fantasyland is that + you nearly always know exactly who your Enemy + is. Everything is black and white – there is + none of the greyness that afflicts enmities in + our world, where you are always having to + concede that there may be some good in someone + you hate. Here, Enemies are always rotten bad + and also out to get Tourists, quite + unequivocally. Most Enemies will of course be + MINIONS OF THE DARK LORD, but some will be + power-crazy WIZARDS and bad KINGS or QUEENS. You + will be able to spot them at once, even if they + have not yet attacked you, by their REEK OF + WRONGNESS + (OMT). Even Enemies who are trying to be + inconspicuous may be detected in this way – for + instance, the UNPLEASANT STRANGER at the INN and + the SPY among the CARAVAN GUARDS. All will have + the Reek. +

+

+ ENEMY SPIES + are planted on every Tour and are of two + kinds: +

+
+
+

+ 1. + BIRDS, normally flocks of black crows, which + will follow the Tour in open spaces such as + moorland and WASTE AREAS. In DESERTS these may + be replaced by vultures. Both are easy to spot + but hard to defeat or avoid. They are + particularly vexatious if you are trying to get + somewhere secretly. +

+

+ 2. + Humans (see also UNPLEASANT STRANGER), who are + planted at INNS, usually by BANDITS, and in + Courts by the DARK LORD or one of his MINIONS. + These are sometimes harder to detect. Most have + the REEK OF WRONGNESS + (OMT), but a few will not know that it is the + Dark Lord to whom they are reporting and so will + not Reek. In Court, the Tourist should be wary + of all who seem innocent, even if that person is + the Crown PRINCE. +

+
+
+

+ See also CARAVANS and SPIES. +

+
+
+

+ ETERNAL QUEST. + See QUEST, ETERNAL. +

+
+
+

+ EUNUCHS + are found very frequently, particularly in the + FANATIC CALIPHATES, but also in most TEMPLES and + quite often attached to WIZARDS. Wherever a KING + has more than one wife, EUNUCHS will abound. + There are so many of them in some quarters that + it must be quite a problem for the Management to + maintain the birthrate high enough to provide + ARMIES for bad Kings, puppet Kings, and the DARK + LORD. Eunuchs do not fight. Their function is to + be fat and effeminate and to thwart Tourists + wherever possible by trying to POISON them. One + theory is that Eunuchs are recruited from the + unwanted children of barmaids (see BAR + SERVICE). +

+
+
+

+ EVIL + (OMTs include + taint of Evil, + Evil imperiling the realm , ancient Evil grips + , Evil scheme , the Evil in men’s souls , Evil + springs eternal , the stench of Evil ) is + generally around somewhere in Fantasyland and + seems to cast quite a blight. It has two states, + active and passive. In the active state, it is + rampant, embodied in puppet KINGS, ARMIES of + UNDEAD, MONSTERS, and creeping pollution of the + countryside, and it is out to get all Tourists + (who are by definition GOOD). In its passive + state it ponds in deserted spots, where it lies + around waiting to be roused by the unwary. The + active state is usually connected with the DARK + LORD, and must be overcome in the course of the + Tour. The passive, when not connected with a + predecessor or avatar of the Dark Lord, is + either fallout from the WIZARDS’ WAR or the work + of some God way back at the BEGINNING of things. + When it is in this from there is not much to be + done about it but stay clear. +

+
+
+

+ EXECUTIONS + are frequent in any COUNTRY not ruled by a Good + KING. They take place in a holiday atmosphere. + People flock to Executions and bring their + CHILDREN, and sales of snacks and drinks are + vast. Methods of Execution are various but are + generally designed to be as much of a spectacle + as possible. Thus burning at the stake is a + great favourite, along with impaling, + crucifixion, disembowelling, etc., while + suspending the victim in a cage to starve is + also very popular. Hangings and beheadings, + being over rather swiftly, are generally done + only in batches of ten or more. Some Tours will + generally include an Execution in their + schedule, but on most Tours the Management + wishes to spare its Tourists the sight of + anything so painful. You will be irritated to + find you have just missed it. +

+
+
+

+ The approach to the CITY will be flanked with + stakes and crosses carrying fresh corpses; its + streets will be lined with severed heads or rows + of throttled dangling bodies; its walls will be + hung with desiccated cadavers or skeletons in + small iron cages; and outside there will be + large charred patches smelling of mutton chop. + But you will be too late to witness anyone + actually dying. +

+

+ See also TORTURE. +

+
+
+

+ EXPORT. + See IMPORT/EXPORT. +

+

+ EYRIE CLANS + live in CLIFF DWELLINGS in northerly parts of + the continent, where the sexes are rigidly + segregated. The men live like commandoes and + train BIRDS to be their lifelong companions. The + women do nothing much; indeed, Tourists may not + meet any of the women. The men will be very + austere and humourless and not inclined to trust + Tourists, but in the end they will offer their + help on the side of GOOD. They make excellent + scouts. +

+

 

+
+

+
+

F

+

+ Felt hats should be worn only before harvest + time, when there is danger of bird droppings in + the hair. Never wear fur boots in a marsh, and + don a cloak only at great need. Do not attempt + to dress like a Barbarian. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, Gnomic Utterances, XIV ix +

+
+
+

+ FAIRGROUND. + This is like a MARKET, except that it is much, + much bigger and planted somewhere right in the + middle of nowhere so that everyone can get to + it. There will be rows and rows of TENTS and + BOOTHS, often arranged in streets, and vast + areas off to one side for HORSE trading. There + will also be a profusion of JUGGLERS, Harpers + (see BARDS), and other performers, all of whom + will get in your way when you are trying either + to find someone you urgently need to meet or to + escape from SPIES and pursuers. Be sure that, if + the Tour takes you to a Fairground, it will be + for one of these two things. Usually it will be + both. +

+

+ FANATIC CALIPHATES + generally occupy the east-southeast of the + continent, where the climate is quite hot. When + the Tour brings you to these COUNTRIES, you are + warned to watch your tongue. They are all + fanatics here in the worship of particularly + demanding Gods, and are prone to + TORTURE/imprison/execute anyone they regard as + an unbeliever. It is this worship which enables + the ruler (usually a bad KING or a TYRANT) to + hold his people subject to his every word; and + it is also fertile ground for the DARK LORD, who + will have planted at least one puppet King here. + Apart from this, the Caliphates are generally + even noisier and dirtier than the rest of the + continent (clamour (OMT) is expressive here), but a lot + richer, which you can see at once if you walk in + their MARKETS (here the OMT is bazaar ), where + they are selling carpets and silks. Everyone + will be shouting about bargains and thinking of + MONEY. But MERCHANTS here are thoroughly under + the thumb of the King/Tyrant and will report + your presence at once (and even before that if + they think you have blasphemed). You will then + be hustled to the PALACE. The wealth of the + Country is particularly apparent in the Palace, + which will be breathtakingly ornamented in a + frenzy of gold, lacy jewelled carvings, wildly + patterned pavements, and many-coloured cushions + and hangings. There will be hundreds of + well-dressed SLAVES. Here the King/Tyrant will + ask you politely what you want (these people are + seldom rude) and, when you reveal which QUEST + OBJECT/item of KNOWLEDGE you are looking for, + will take the same reasonable line as the rest + of his people: “What’s in it for me?” You will + get nowhere unless you can answer this to + everyone’s satisfaction, and even then you will + have to steal what you need. The Caliphates do + not consider it cheating to cheat foreigners and + unbelievers. You will then be pursued by fanatic + soldiery or PRIESTS. Some Tour members will get + wounded or killed. +

+

+ FANTASYLAND + is all the country on the MAP, usually a whole + continent complete with OFFSHORE ISLANDS, and + sometimes including also the OTHER CONTINENT, + when this lies near enough to be reached either + by Slave GALLEY or on Dragonback. There is + plenty of room in it for numerous COUNTRIES, for + much space to have been laid waste by earlier + WIZARDS’ WARS, and for still more space to be + emptied by the shrinking of the VESTIGIAL + EMPIRE. The WEATHER in both these emptied spaces + is likely to be peculiar. The Management of + course reserves the right to alter the shape and + name of the continent at will and to move + MOUNTAINS about whenever necessary. There will, + however, always be the usual features present, + as discussed in this Toughpick section. +

+

+ FARMHOUSES + are among the few BUILDINGS which are not + larger inside than out – in fact, they are + usually smaller. Outside, they are thatched, + timbered, and pleasantly large-looking. Inside, + there will be room only for the KITCHEN, which + is the family living room, and bedrooms for the + farmer, his wife and four children. Tourists + invited to stay the night usually sleep in the + stable loft. +

+

+ FARMING + obviously takes place, since produce appears in + the MARKETS, and the Tour will sometimes take + you past cultivated fields. But most fields will + have been trampled or burnt by ARMIES, or else + parched by magical drought. Dairy farming seems + very rare. This probably accounts for the + extreme dullness of most meals in Fantasyland + (see STEW, FOOD, STEW, SCURVY, STEW, + etc.). +

+

+ FARSEEING + can be performed by a MAGIC USER with or + without a CRYSTAL, though it often takes a + trance without. Here the operator lies on + her/his back under a fur rug, often in some + place of POWER, and during some hours sees + things that are happening several hundred miles + away. It is said to be very draining. The + operator usually requires a hot, sweet drink + afterwards. +

+

+ FELLOW TRAVELERS. + These are people who join the Tour for a short + while and then leave or get killed. If they have + NAMES and characters, then you will be sorry to + lose them, otherwise not. +

+
+
+

See also COMPANIONS.

+
+
+

+ FEMALE MERCENARY. + This will be a COMPANION on your Tour. She is + usually tall, thin and wiry, silent, and + neurotic. SEX scares her. This is because she + either came from a NUNNERY or was raped as a + child. Or both. Somehow this inspired her to + become a MERCENARY and she is very good at her + job. You can rely on her absolutely in a FIGHT. + She can usually kill two people at once while + guarding your back in between. The rest of the + time, she will irritate you with lots of + punctilious WEAPONS cleaning and a perpetual + insistence that a proper watch be kept. Mostly, + she will have no Magic TALENTS, but sometimes, + in an emergency, she will come up with a GIFT or + a VISION. You will end up grudgingly admiring + her. +

+

+ FERRY + is a raftlike craft for crossing RIVERS. It can + be rowed or pulled across on ropes, but in + either case the FERRYMAN must be paid. Since the + Rules state that you need a Ferry only when the + forces of Dark are on your heels, the price is + usually exorbitant. +

+

+ FERRYMAN + is the only important FERRY operator. All the + other rowers and haulers are extras. A Ferryman + is traditionally surly, reluctant, and + frightened. This is probably because the Tour + usually hauls him out of bed near dawn with + urgent demands to be taken over the RIVER right + now . He will overcharge you horribly in + revenge. He will sometimes also blight the + crossing by making various ominous and + depressing remarks; but he will, on the offer of + more money, swear not to reveal that you have + used his Ferry. He will of course tell the + forces of Dark everything as soon as they gallop + up in pursuit. +

+

+ FEVER + is something that follows a wound: it never has + any other cause (except possibly PLAGUE, which + you will not catch). It will cost the Tourist a + day or so of sweating and strange DREAMS before + someone fetches a HEALER. Then a drink of herbal + tea will have you right in no time. +

+

+ FIGHTS + follow the same Rules as CONFRONTATIONS and + INCIDENTS. They get larger and more frequent as + the Tour goes on. You will first blood your + sword (OMT) in the AMBUSH mounted by the + BANDITS, and follow that by further practice + upon LEATHERY-WINGED AVIANS. You will then Fight + an ASSASSIN in a TOWN or CITY and so proceed by + increments to your bout in the arena as a + GLADIATOR. By the end of the Tour, you will be + leading the front-line charge against the forces + of Dark quite happily, killing soldiers, UNDEAD, + and DEMONS almost with abandon. +

+

+ FIRE. + One of the very few things most forces of the + Dark find hard to combat. One of the standard + ways to defeat the DARK LORD or his MINIONS is + to engineer a mighty explosion in the place + where he/they are holed up, then let everything + burn for days. Of course, before this the Dark + Lord will have set Fire to large parts of the + countryside, so it is only fair. +

+
+
+

See also ELEMENTALS.

+
+
+

+ FIRESTARTING + is one of the basic Magic TALENTS, and often + manifests at an early age. This must be + dangerous (see BUILDING MATERIALS), but the + inhabitants of Fantasyland have learnt to take + it in their stride. The Firestarter has only to + concentrate for a candle or fuel in a grate to + burst into flame. It is a lowly Talent. Young + MAGIC USERS often apologize that this is all + they can do. And thank goodness it seems + confined wholly to candles and grates. We are + probably lucky that in our own world it is not + nearly so common. +

+
+
+

+ FISH + is caught all along the coasts and often in the + INLAND SEA, with much palaver about putting to + sea in small wooden BOATS, mending nets and so + on. It is unloaded as picturesquely as possible + on to WHARFS. But it is very seldom eaten, and + almost never by Tourists, except just + occasionally as a variant on STEW. One + conjecture is that it is carted inland to manure + fields ravaged by ARMIES, WIZARDS, droughts, and + demonic invasion. But this has never been + confirmed. Also, trout (plump and gleaming (OMT)) may be caught in a + RIVER, almost always by the FEMALE MERCENARY, + who tickles out the fish with a cocky glint in + her eye (OMT); the fish are then gutted with a + thumbnail and cooked on a spit over the + campfire. They taste delicious, although burnt + on the outside and raw in the middle. +

+

+ FLEAS. + See LICE. +

+

+ FOOD. + See STEW, SCURVY, STEW, WAYBREAD (also known as + Journey Cake) and STEW – though there are + occasional BIRDS, FISH, RABBITS and pieces of + cheese. Generally the diet is an unvaried one, + although MARSH DWELLERS can work wonders with + ROOTS. Puddings are unknown except occasionally + in the Courts of KINGS. Tourists who suffer from + diabetes should be quite safe. +

+

+ FORESEEING. + Foreseeing is done by those MAGIC USERS with + the GIFT of looking into the future, quite often + MYSTICAL MASTERS. It is done unasked. Indeed, + most people would rather not know. But, unlike + the other forms of PROPHECY, this is usually + very obscure, although quite accurate. Tourists + should not lose sleep over it. Whatever is + Foreseen is going to happen anyway. +

+

+ FOREST OF DOOM. + This is usually the home of mobile and + prehensile TREES. There will be giant SPIDERS + too, and Dwellers near the centre who will want + to SACRIFICE any stranger to their God. It is + best to avoid the place if possible. But the + Management usually insists on sending you there. + An OLD RUINED CITY is sometimes situated in the + heart of this Forest. +

+
+
+

See also WOODS.

+
+
+

+ FORTS + usually occur in MOUNTAINS. Generally they are + guarding a pass, but sometimes they are just + there. They are about equally divided between + manned and deserted. In all cases they are sort + of square and blockish, with many additional + geometric features for which the Management + seldom gives reasons. The Rule is that if a Fort + is manned, then it will be attacked by the + forces of the Dark. If it is deserted, then some + SECRET vital to the Tour QUEST is concealed + there. +

+
+
+

+ FROSTBITE + is unknown, even in the extreme frozen north. + This is convenient for Tourists, who will be + compelled to suffer HARDSHIPS of cold when + visiting the north, and also probably accounts + for the fact that the NORTHERN BARBARIANS wear + little besides a furry loincloth. +

+
+
+

+ See also CHILBLAINS and HYPOTHERMIA. +

+
+
+

+ FRUIT + is probably a luxury item. It is seldom served + at INNS and usually makes its appearance only at + feasts in the courts of KINGS. +

+
+
+

See also SCURVY.

+
+

 

+

+
+

G

+

+ Gardens are fraught with risk. King Doras II + fell over a flowerpot in his garden after seeing + a vision of seven future kings. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, + Gnomic Utterances, + I ix +

+
+
+

+ GALLEY. + A large, cumbrous SHIP moved by both sail and + banks of oars. Usually, but not invariably, it + belongs to the FANATIC CALIPHATES, who may be + using it for trade. Or maybe not, because the + only things most Galleys seem to contain are + rows of benches for GALLEY SLAVES. +

+

+ GALLEY SLAVE. + The only opportunity, if you are a man, of + reaching any of the OFFSHORE ISLANDS is to + become a Galley Slave. It is one of the two main + occupations open to you once you are enslaved + (see also GLADIATOR). You will be captured and + sold into slavery on an average halfway through + the Tour and will then very shortly find + yourself chained to a bench belowdecks (noisome (OMT)) and probably to a large heavy + oar too. (There is no toilet provided, hence the + OMT.) You have to sit there all the time, even + when the Galley is under sail. You will be given + just enough food and drink to keep you alive. + There will be an overseer (brutal (OMT)) who will encourage you with a + large leather whip, as well as someone else to + beat time as you row. You will find it hard + work. You will acquire blisters and scars as + well as muscles. But do not despair. Next to you + on the bench there will be a future friend, + generally of giant stature, and, as soon as your + muscles are properly hardened, you will be able + to cut your chains and, with the help of this + LARGE MAN, slaughter your employers and leap + overboard. You may then have to swim some way to + an island. If you are lucky, a SEA MONSTER will + arise from the deep and offer you a lift, but + even without this help you will reach land in a + day or so. In some cases, you may find that you + have not reached an island at all, but some + other land. This will be the OTHER CONTINENT and + the Tour will proceed as normal there. +

+

+ GAMES + are few, usually only dice, cards, and + chess. +

+
+
+

+ GUARDS, soldiers, and THIEVES are all addicted + to dice, which they normally play only when + drinking. This is a convenient habit, since it + will often enable you to slip past them, either + into or out of a PRISON, FORT, or TOWN, whenever + you need to. Often the dice have been crafted + from unusual materials, like human vertebrae, + and they may have RUNES on them in place of the + normal spots. +

+

+ Card games are always fraught affairs, since + inevitably the fall of the cards has some + miasma of meaning + (OMT) that goes far beyond the game itself; + players are likely to look over their shoulders + nervously before reluctantly muttering + “Snap.” +

+

+ Chess seems to be played by the upper classes. + That is to say, you will find KINGS, rich + MERCHANTS, and the like all possess very + handsome chess sets, but you will almost never + see them playing with them. +

+

+ Psychiatrists may find matter for grave concern + in the almost total absence of other Games, + particularly among CHILDREN, but the reason is + easy to find. From the cradle up, the + inhabitants are in the serious business of + keeping alive in spite of the best efforts of + the DARK LORD, WIZARDS, bad Kings, DEMONS, and + maverick MAGIC, and have no time for + fripperies. +

+

See also GAMING.

+
+
+

+ GAMING + is done with dice by soldiers and SPIES. Dice + are traditionally loaded. Tourists are not + advised to try it. +

+
+
+

See also GAMES.

+
+
+

+ GAY MAGE + may be one of your COMPANIONS on the Tour. He + will be very beautiful and he will dress in + gorgeous colours. He will have long hair which + may be silver-blond. He will ache with + sensitivity (OMT). He will not like to fight or + to be angry with people. Despite all this, he + will be surprisingly strong, competent, and + determined, and he will be very good at MAGIC + indeed. He will fall in love while on the Tour + and suffer other disasters, but this will not + impair his efficiency in the least. You will + find him giving you a back rub and aromatherapy + late in the Tour at some point when he ought to + be dead. A valuable Companion. +

+

+ GEAS + is the word for the Rules governing + PANCELTIC + TOURS. On normal PANCELTIC + Tours it is something magically laid on you + that you must do or not do. This can be a + nuisance, because the Geas takes no account of + the feelings you may have about whatever is laid + on you. For instance, you can be under a Geas to + marry the next person you see with violet eyes, + or to kill every third red-haired man, or to + visit every COUNTRY on the MAP, and you will do + those things. You may weep and curse, but do + them you will. +

+

+ GESTURES + are the invariable accompaniment to the + performing of MAGIC. The Management here takes + the reasonable line that, without Gestures, most + people would not know that Magic was being done. + So all WIZARDS wave their arms about a lot. Many + Gesture with their STAFFS. Some flick their + fingers. In extreme cases, the Gesture leaves a + green glowing trace in the air (OMT). +

+

+ GHOSTS + come both singly and in battalions. Single + Ghosts are met in MANSIONS and out of doors, but + very seldom in CASTLES, PALACES, or other places + where people might have come by sticky ends. + This is because Ghosts on the whole seem to + exist not as a result of the way they died but + because of unfinished business. This applies + particularly to Ghosts in battalions, who will + be waiting in a large cemetery or graveyard for + someone to call them up to fulfill their vows. + Single Ghosts will be feeling vengeful about + some legal or magical matter they have had to + leave to their descendants. Tourists should be + careful of all Ghosts. In Fantasyland, Ghosts + can interact with living substance and do real + damage. Single Ghosts can hurt or bespell you. + The called-up battalions usually fight like + living soldiers but are, for obvious reasons, + very difficult to kill. +

+

+ GIANTS + are seldom seen these days. They may be + invisible (see INVISIBILITY). If you think you + see a Giant, it will usually prove to be a very + large human or the result of a BREEDING + PROGRAMME. There are, however, confirmed + sightings of a whole race of gentle Giants. + Tours occasionally stumble on these. +

+

+ GIFTS + is another word for TALENTS. It is used by + people who feel reverent about MAGIC. +

+

+ GLADIATOR + is the second of two professions open to male + Tourists when they are taken prisoner and sold + as a SLAVE (see also GALLEY SLAVE). You need not + be muscular for this, though it helps; it is + better to have a brain and to have recently been + in WEAPONS training at a SCHOOL OF WEAPONRY (the + Management usually arranges for this to have + been the case). Once enslaved, you will be taken + to the pitlike pens at the back of the arena, + where you will be lightly chained but not + underfed or too badly treated, since your owners + wish you to give the audience a decent show. You + may even be allowed exercise. During this time, + you will hear rumours about the other + Gladiators, the professionals, one of whom will + be said to have defeated all comers. Naturally, + when your time comes to fight, this will be the + man you have to meet. With luck, you will by + this time have had a few early bouts, either + with other professionals or with a mutant ANIMAL + or two, and your skills will be honed. But this + fight will be the big one. Often, freedom will + be the reward. The Rule is: if you are offered + freedom, then you must kill your professional; + but if you are just put to fight him, you will + get the best of it and the man will become your + friend. The two of you will then escape + together. +

+
+
+

+ But either way, you have to fight him, in + glaring heat (this is the Rule) and in front of + the local TYRANT and a huge crowd. Usually your + opponent will have superior WEAPONS. But thanks + to your earlier training you are able, at the + last gasp, to pull a fast one on him and win. + The crowd will then wish you to take his place + as their HERO. This can be awkward, but do not + worry. The Rule is that you can escape during + the next day or so. +

+
+
+

+ GNOMES + are a small, brown, rather childish PEOPLE who + tend to live beneath the roots of TREES or under + hillsides. They come out of their earthy warrens + to capture Tourists for no real reason. Since + they have some knowledge of MAGIC they can make + life uncomfortable and be hard to escape from. + Nor do they always understand that humans need + to eat and drink. Captured Tourists are advised + to work hard at finding out what the Gnomes + want, or think they want, and then talking them + out of it. The average time this takes is about + forty-eight hours. By this time, you are very + hungry and thirsty indeed. +

+
+
+

+ GNOMIC UTTERANCES. + These are traditional, and are set at the head + of each section of the Guidebook. The reason for + them is lost in the mists of HISTORY. They are + culled by the Management from a mighty + collection of wise sayings probably compiled by + a SAGE – probably called Ka’a Orto’o – some + centuries before the Tour begins. The Rule is + that no Utterance has anything whatsoever to do + with the section it precedes. Nor, of course, + has it anything to do with GNOMES. +

+

+ GOBLINS + are the smaller unmutated form of ORCS, and + quite as unpleasant. They are + misshapen + (OMT) ugly humanoids with long nails and teeth. + Usually they have green scaly skins and pointed + ears. They live underground in MOUNTAINS and + WOODS and are likely to pour out of these dens + in hundreds and attack the Tour without warning. + They have a habit of keeping on coming, however + many you kill, so you will find you have to keep + cutting Goblins to pieces until your arm aches. + If there are enough Goblins, they will capture + you at this stage and haul you underground. It + will be some days before your COMPANIONS manage + to rescue you.. Be prepared for a bad few days. Goblins enjoy + TORTURE and are rather good at it. Some Goblins + are cannibals too. +

+

+ GODDESSES AND GODS + operate in ones, threesomes, or whole pantheons + of nine or more (see RELIGION). Most of them + claim to have made the world, and this is indeed + a likely claim in the case of threesomes or + pantheons: Fantasyland does have the air of + having been made by a committee. But all + Goddesses and Gods, whether they say they made + the world or not, have very detailed short-term + plans for it which they are determined to carry + out. Consequently they tend to push people into + the required actions by the use of coincidence + or PROPHECY, or just by narrowing down your + available choices of what to do next: if a deity + is pushing you, things will go miserably badly + until there is only one choice left to + you. +

+
+
+

+ Deities are also much given to manifesting and + taking part in the action themselves. They + manifest, according to their natures, as a + CHILD, a bright light, a silver beam, a demonic + creature, or a superhuman human, and in this + form will tell you what your next move must be. + They have to do this. Because of the Rule that + all Goddesses and Gods fade when not worshipped + (see IMMORTALS), each deity has constantly to + make it quite clear to humans that She/He + exists. You may therefore expect to meet at + least one deity during your Tour. The experience + is generally awe-inspiring and usually + instructive, though you may come away from it + feeling rather bullied. +

+

+ See also ASPECT and BEGINNINGS. +

+
+
+

+ GOOD + means everyone and everything on your side. + This of course includes TOUR COMPANIONS – in + spite of irritating quirks – DRAGONS, DWARFS, + ELVES, and, once you have talked to them + seriously, GNOMES. It means about half the + GODDESSES AND GODS. Most other things are the + ENEMY, and EVIL. If you find something/someone + that is neither, such as a HORSE or a neutral + God, you may safely ignore them. +

+
+
+

+ GOVERNMENT + in Fantasyland is another word for KING or + TYRANT. Most AVERAGE FOLK seem to get on + perfectly well without any of it. +

+
+
+

See also POLITICS.

+
+
+

+ GREEN MAN + is either a sort of walking tree composed of + twigs + (wythes + (OMT)) and leaves, or a large construct woven + of twigs and leaves. Nobody knows what this + creature is, but it is generally acknowledged + that he is very folklorique. In either form, he + is highly menacing. The walking kind is liable + to come after you in the night, rustling + villainously and exuding the well-known REEK OF + WRONGNESS + (OMT). If you encounter the constructed form, + you must run away at once, or you will likely + find yourself chained inside the vegetation and + then burnt, or thrown into the sea, or both. In + the last case, you have at least some chance of + escaping, provided you are not roast meat by + then. +

+

+ GRIMOIRES + are books of EVIL SPELLS. Tourists should avoid + looking into or even touching them except in + true need. Most of them behave like conscious + entities and are out to entrap. You can tell + which they are, because their leather covers are + either black or the glabrous hue (OMT) of human + skin. Sometimes this smokes a little when + fingered. Grimoires will often flutter their + pages enticingly, or fall open at a Spell that + entraps; but it is also quite customary for the + page you need to be blank when you first look at + it, or to blank itself as you try to read. If + you really need to consult a Grimoire as part of + your QUEST for KNOWLEDGE, you need a shielding + Spell, a coercion Spell, and a Spell that + enables you to remember what you saw without + having nightmares for the rest of the Tour. It + is best to let your Tour MENTOR or a WIZARD + handle it. +

+

+ GUARDS + are the TOWN Watch and quite useless. The y + always arrive too late to quell a TAVERN BRAWL + or riot. This is because there are too few of + them and all of them are stupid. Tourists will + be glad of both these facts at the point when + they are trying to leave the Town unseen. +

+

+ GUILDS. + See ASSASSINS, GUILD OF and THIEVES’ + GUILD. +

+

+ GUNS + are banned on most Tours. If a Tourist succeeds + in smuggling a Gun through from our own world, + the Management will usually arrange for it not + to work for some reason. On most Tours, + gunpowder does not explode. If you really feel + you must bring a Gun (and who is to blame you, + given the trials and DANGERS of the Tour?), your + best chance of getting away with it is to import + something antique such as a musket or a + flintlock pistol. +

+

 

+
+

+
+

H

+
+
+

+ Hard on your port a bit +

+
+
+

+ Down on your right a bit +

+
+
+

+ That’s how to make a hit +

+
+
+

+ Down with the rest of it. +

+
+
+

+ - + Barbary Viking Song* +

+

+ * + The Management regrets that it was unable to + find a Gnomic Utterance +

+

+ that was suitably irrelevant. It was forced to + resort to doggerel instead. +

+
+
+

+ HARDSHIP + is intrinsic to all Tours. Be prepared to be + cold, tired, wet, wounded, and, above all, + sleepless, and still have to slog on. For some + reason, sleep is the thing the Management is + least prepared to allow you. But you will lose + more than sleep before the CONCLUSION. Be + prepared to have to go about SAVING THE WORLD + with one leg or your soul missing. Until you + have done this, you will not know what Hardship + is. +

+

+ HARES + are a distinct species from RABBITS, which they + superficially resemble – about as close to a + Rabbit as a monkey is to a human – but the + Management will always try to kid you that they + are the same thing. Hares do not dig burrows, + but spend all their life above ground, running + very hard. This is probably why they so often + end up in Tourist traps. Because of their + lifestyle, Hares taste bitter and their flesh is + so tough that they should be hung for at least + two days after slaughter. The Management, + however, will want you to eat the Hare that same + evening and will therefore call it a Rabbit. + That night’s STEW will be unpleasant and very + hard to chew. +

+

+ HARP. + A triangular stringed instrument, often MAGIC. + Even when not Magic, a Harp is surprisingly + portable and touch and can be carried everywhere + on the back of the BARD or Harper in all + weathers. A Harp seldom goes out of tune and + never warps. Its strings break only in very rare + instances, usually because the Harper is sulking + or crossed in love. This is just as well, as no + one seems to make or sell spare strings. If + Magic, a Harp makes its player able to do most + things a WIZARD can do, only few Harpers seem to + realize this. Perhaps this is a pity, because + almost no Harp, Magic or not, will respond to + anyone who is not GOOD. +

+

+ HARPER. + See BARDS, HARP, and + PANCELTS. +

+

+ HEALERS + are the medics of Fantasyland, but even more + highly venerated. Usually they deserve respect. + They are slender, mild-mannered people who dare + not kill or offer violence because this would + destroy their Healing Powers. Any Healer who + reverses the flow of energy to hurt instead of + heal is said to suffer terribly. A Healer will + show a GIFT at an early age, whereupon she/he + will be taken and trained in a Hall, which seems + to be something like a MONASTERY, and will + emerge around the age of twenty able to close + WOUNDS with a touch of the finger, dispel FEVER + by concentrating, and mend bones by going into a + light trance. A Healer may also know HERBS and + save her/himself the fatigue of falling into a + trance by applying leaves and ointments instead. + Some ointments even mend broken bones. Healers + appear to derive their POWER and some of their + training from the hand of the GODDESS, and are + often very devout people. All this makes you see + that medicine in our world has a long way to + go. +

+

+ HEATING + is open fires or nothing, except in + MONASTERIES, TEMPLES, and the PALACES of sick + KINGS, where a charcoal brazier + is allowed to the abbot, HIGH PRIEST, or King. + Sometimes the inside of an ANCIENT ENGINEERING + PROJECT will be kept inexplicably warm by some + preternatural agency beyond the ken of Man + (OMT), indicating that the ancients knew a thing + or two about central heating. +

+

+ HEATSTROKE + is rare but, since it is caused by the sun and + not by bacteria, it can happen. Expect to be + smitten by it in the DESERT. It will cause you + only a day or so of acute discomfort. +

+

+ HEDGE WIZARD. + A MAGIC USER who received little or no training + or was not intelligent enough to qualify for the + College of Wizardry (see INVISIBLE COLLEGE), but + who has decided to make a living out of it all + the same. Most Hedge WIZARDS are small, shabby, + and self-deprecating. They are to be met + trudging around the land touting for custom. + Tourists often feel sorry for them, and this is + a snare. Few of them are EVIL, but they will + land you in trouble anyway, because their SPELLS + are likely to be weak or incomplete and will + fail you just when you need to rely on them. + Consult a Hedge Wizard only when no other help + is around. +

+
+
+

See also HERBWOMAN.

+
+
+

+ HEIRS. + See MISSING HEIRS. +

+

+ HELMETS + are allowed only to the following, and never to + Tourists: +

+
+
+

+ 1. + GUARDS, particularly of the TOWN Watch, so they + can shove the Helmet back and scratch their + heads. +

+

+ 2. + Vestigial Imperialists (see VESTIGIAL EMPIRE), + so that it can be surmounted by a plume of dyed + horsehair. +

+

+ 3. + BARBARY VIKINGS, to carry the necessary + horns. +

+

+ 4. + The forces of the DARK LORD, so that they can + have the visors down and behave like automata + (faceless + (OMT)). +

+

+ 5. + Foreigners, so that they can be a peculiar + foreign shape. +

+

+ 6. + Just occasionally ARMIES, if the Management is + intending to pour boiling oil on the + besiegers. +

+
+
+

+ HERALDRY + is rampant, passant, and even couchant, but the + exact rules are vague. Generally the Management + is happy to paint an ANIMAL or plant of one + colour on a field of another and leave it at + that. +

+

+ HERBS + are plentiful in Fantasyland. All the most + useful and curative plants seem to have escaped + the magical pollution that has so blighted + ANIMAL life and, what is more, whole crops of + hitherto unknown healing Herbs are also + available, growing freely on hillsides and the + banks of streams just where and when they are + needed. All HEALERS and HERBWOMEN are well + versed in their uses and habitats (lore (OMT)). If you are wounded, one of these + can soon put you right with a poultice of + crushed leaves. +

+

+ HERBWOMAN. + Said to be the female equivalent of a HEDGE + WIZARD, but this is seldom the case. She is never rich, but she can be any age, + and the older she is the more likely she is to + be an accomplished midwife. She will usually + wear HOMESPUN ROBES. If young, she may join your + Tour. A Herbwoman will have had little or no + formal training, but she will have received + enormous amounts of lore (OMT) from her + predecessors, and anything to do with the + natural world is an open book to her. She will + be quite a powerful WITCH and often able to Heal + when normal HEALERS have given up. She is also + likely to have LEGENDS and other KNOWLEDGE you + need. +

+
+
+

See also HERBS.

+
+
+

+ HEROES. + These are mythical beings, often selected at + birth, who perform amazing deeds of courage, + strength, and magical mayhem, usually against + huge odds. The Rule is that the Hero is always + Out There. If you get to meet a so-called Hero, + she/he always turns out to be just another + human, with human failings, who has happened to + be in the right place at the right time (or the + wrong place at the wrong time, more likely). + Tourists, too, may perform amazing deeds and + quite normally end up SAVING THE WORLD, but + cannot qualify as Heroes because they are not + Out There. +

+

+ HIDDEN KINGDOM. + Usually reached through CAVERNS or after an + arduous trek into the heart of the central + massif, this is often the object of the Tour + QUEST and much of the Tour will be devoted to + getting directions to find it. When you get + there you will discover it is very beautiful and + very orderly. The Dwellers will be either + MYSTICAL MASTERS or ELVES, or both. The ruler, + who will be grave, wise, and comely, will talk + to you long and seriously about MAGIC and your + aims in life. People will play fine, restful + MUSIC. You will be able to relax and feast. One + good thing about this place is that they will + either not serve STEW or, if they do, it will be + strangely spiced and vegetarian. For a few days, + you will think this is the perfect place, but + after that you will be anxious to leave because + it is really very boring. The Dwellers want you + gone too. They find you unrestful. So they will + give you a magical preview of what you do next + (see PROPHECY) and fresh supplies of WAYBREAD + and send you on your way to SAVING THE + WORLD. +

+

+ HIEROGLYPHS + can be the form of writing used in the OTHER + CONTINENT, or else a difficult and unpleasant + alternative to RUNES. WIZARDS write Hieroglyphs + a lot on floors and in the air. You need help to + read them. +

+
+
+

+ See also GRIMOIRES and SCROLLS. +

+
+
+

+ HIGH KING + is the top KING of whatever number of + COUNTRIES, dukedoms, and principalities the + Management pleases. He is a northerly phenomenon + and does not occur on all Tours. When he does, + he is always GOOD, rather conscientious, and + terribly overworked. You will often witness the + start of his reign about halfway through the + Tour. There will be a long and tedious ceremony + in which all lesser rulers swear oaths to the + High King. He will then be the one who has to + muster an ARMY to fight the forces of the DARK + LORD. +

+

+ HIGH PRIEST + is nearly always EVIL, either on his own + account or on behalf of the DARK LORD. Sometimes + he is fat, thick-lipped, and corrupt, sometimes + tall, thin, shaggy-browed, and corrupt. He will + be wearing ROBES of enormous richness and a + medallion round his neck that can shoot MAGIC at + people. He has not cut his fingernails in years. + Mostly he does not believe in his God, but + cynically uses both the God’s powers and his own + considerable Magic skills to his own ends, which + are (a) getting rich, (b) being cruel, and (c) + acquiring catamites and concubines. The younger + members of the Tour are not safe from him. He is + particularly dangerous because he can call on + two kinds of Magic and after that hundreds of + fanatic soldiers and worshippers, who may pursue + the Tour party for miles. +

+
+
+

+ See also RELIGION, SCROLLS, and TEMPLES. +

+
+
+

+ HIGH PRIESTESSES + are always devout and always head the worship + of female deities. They are: +

+
+
+

+ 1. + Of the Triple Goddess. This High Priestess is + good-looking, with a nice figure and a warm and + motherly nature. She will give you excellent + advice and any other help you need. +

+

+ 2. + Of any other GODDESS. This High Priestess is + tall, thin, and austere. In her view, nothing + comes before her duty to her deity. + Consequently, you have to convince her that her + deity wants what you need. Then she will put the + large resources of her TEMPLE/COUNTRY at your + service. On occasion, however, the DARK LORD has + got in before you, often by pretending to be the + Goddess, and convinced the High Priestess she + needs to support him. You will have to persuade + her otherwise, often by trickery. But she has + not got where she is by being stupid, so you + will have your work cut out. +

+
+
+

+ HISTORY + is generally patchy and unreliable. Any real + information about past events is either lost or + contained in a SCROLL jealously guarded in a + MONASTERY or TEMPLE. All that can be ascertained + with certainty is: +

+
+
+

+ 1. + That there once was an Empire that ruled the + continent from coast to coast (give or take a + few enclaves of ELVES, GOBLINS, and the like), + but that this shrank to one CITY a long time + before the era of the current Tour, leaving only + a few ROADS, perhaps some of the less ancient + ANCIENT ENGINEERING PROJECTS and much deserted + country. +

+
+
+

+ 2. + That there was once a WIZARDS’ WAR which + probably occurred earlier still. The result of this is that large tracts of + land are still magically devastated (see WASTE + AREAS). +

+
+
+

+ See LEGENDS, as more reliable sources of + information. +

+
+
+

+ HOMESPUN + (serviceable + (OMT)) is probably a kind of tweed worn by + those who are not rich. The cloth seems to be a + sort of mud color. +

+

+ HORSE-BREEDING + is practised by both the ANGLO-SAXON COSSACKS + in the mid-north and the DESERT NOMADS in the + south. They are not in competition with one + another and their activities do not result in a + glut of horseflesh. In Fantasyland, the + mortality rate for HORSES is even higher than + that for MONSTERS and humans. Despite these grim + statistics, both races are said to love their + Horses passionately. +

+

+ HORSES + are of a breed unique to Fantasyland. They are + capable of galloping full-tilt all day without a + rest. Sometimes they do not require food or + water. They never cast shoes, go lame, or put + their hooves down holes, except when Management + deems it necessary, as when the forces of the + DARK LORD are only half an hour behind. They + never otherwise stumble. Nor do they ever make + life difficult for Tourists by biting or kicking + their riders or one another. They never resist + being mounted or blow out so that their girths + slip, or do any of the other things that make + horses so chancy in this world. For instance, + they never shy and seldom whinny or demand sugar + at inopportune moments. But for some reason you + cannot hold a conversation while riding them. If + you want to say anything to another Tourist (or + vice versa), both of you will have to rein to a + stop and stand staring out over a VALLEY while + you talk. Apart from this inexplicable quirk, + Horse can be used just like bicycles, and + usually are. Much research into how these + exemplary animals come to exist has resulted in + the following: no mare ever comes into season on + the Tour and no STALLION ever shows an interest + in a mare; and few Horses are described as + geldings. It therefore seems probable that they + breed by pollination. This theory seems to + account for everything, since it is clear that + the creatures do behave more like vegetables + than mammals. It also explains why the + ANGLO-SAXON COSSACKS and the DESERT NOMADS + appear to have a monopoly on horse-breeding. + They alone possess the secret of how to + pollinate them. +

+
+
+

+ See also HORSE-BREEDING. +

+
+
+

+ HOVELS + are small squalid dwellings, either in a + VILLAGE or occasionally up a MOUNTAIN, and + probably most resemble huts. The people who live + in HOVELS are evidently rather last and not very + good with their hands, since in no cases have + any repairs ever been done to these buildings + (tumbledown (OMT), rotting thatch (OMT), etc.) + and there is no such thing as a clean Hovel. + Indoors, the occupants eke out a wretched + existence (OMT), which you can see they would, + given the draughts, smoke, and general lack of + housecleaning. This need not alarm you. The Tour + will not require you to enter a Hovel that is + inhabited. If you enter one at all, it will be + long-deserted (OMT) and there will be sanitary + arrangements out the back. +

+

+ HYPOTHERMIA + is a very rare condition, but may be + experienced by the unlucky Tourist, usually when + crossing a MOUNTAIN (see MOUNTAIN PASS, + BLOCKED). The cure is swift, involving hot soup + and the attentions of a HEALER in an icy + cave. +

+

 

+
+

+
+

I

+
+
+

+ Insights are always valuable, even if they only + show you your duodenal ulcer. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o , Gnomic Utterances, V + xciii +

+
+
+

+ IDOL. + A statue of a bad or EVIL God, usually found in + a TEMPLE, but occasionally carried through the + streets by fanatical worshippers (see also + IMAGE). It will be covered with gold, JEWELS, + and caparisons, and be very ugly. The most + appalling RITES and SACRIFICES will be held in + front of it. On occasion an Idol will be hollow + and thus usable by GOOD people as a convenient + place to hide, notably if they were about to be + the subject of one of those appalling Rites and + Sacrifices. Oddly, through all the centuries + during which they have had it, the Idol’s + worshippers have never noticed that it is not + solid, and thus haven’t a clue where you might + have vanished to. +

+
+
+

+ On the rare occasions when the hollowness is + known about, the hollow space is of course used + by PRIESTS to create special effects, such as a + thunderous voice issuing from the Idol, the + rolling of its eyes, and the belching from its + mouth of flames to terrify and convince its + worshippers. +

+
+
+

+ ILLUSION + is an important branch of MAGIC. In fact, some + Tours work on the assumption that all Magic is + really Illusion, or the art of making one + thing/person seem like something quite + different. Even where this is not the case, + forms of Illusion play a large part. These + are: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + An appearance put on something from + outside. Here the MAGIC USER makes thin air, + a table, or an ARMY look like, respectively, + a flight of butterflies, the REGENT, or a + bank of MIST. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Something is done to the mind of the + onlooker to make her/him see thin air, a + table, or an Army as butterflies, the + Regent, or a bank of Mist. This is where it + can get edgy. Nasty Illusions can be planted + permanently in a mind so that the person has + a case of perpetual magical DTs. Worse + still, the person can spend the rest of + her/his life thinking she/he is an elephant + or a bat. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Most Illusion is probably a mix of the two + kinds. +
    +
    4. +
+
+

+ IMAGE. + A statue of a GODDESS OR GOD, only here – + unlike the case with an IDOL – the deity is said + to be GOOD. There will be Rites but not + SACRIFICES. +

+

+ IMMORTALS + are fairly common in Fantasyland. There are + three kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + GODDESSES AND GODS, who exist forever + unless people stop believing in them. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + ELVES or DARK LORDS, who live forever + unless someone kills them. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Humans who are +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + Cursed and have to spend Eternity + drearily Questing and/or hating + everything. (See CURSES and + QUEST.) +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + MAGIC USERS. These generally find + plenty to occupy the long years and + mostly have rather a good + time. +
      +
      3. +
    +
    4. +
+
+

+ IMPERIAL CITIZENS + are so civilized that they have given up WAR in + favour of POLITICS and POISON. The Management + considers this effete and will direct you to + feel contempt for most of these people, except + the Emperor, until you come upon the elderly man + who retains the old virtues of the Empire. A + former General, he is totally trustworthy and + warlike and scorns politics too. He will become + a staunch supporter of the Tour and of great + help either on the QUEST or in SAVING THE + WORLD. +

+

+ IMPERIAL CITY. + See VESTIGIAL EMPIRE. +

+

+ IMPERIOUS FEMALE + is a Tour COMPANION you probably hate at first. + She is rather finely dressed and may have the + SERIOUS SOLDIER as her bodyguard. She will sweep + into the INN at the STARTING POINT and behave as + if what she wants is the only thing of + importance to anyone. Before long, however, you + will see that she is really driven by huge + anxiety (OMT). She has some KNOWLEDGE or SECRET + with her that preys on her mind, usually by + suggesting her duty is SAVING THE WORLD. You + will then discover she is a WITCH or of Royal + birth or both. After that she will earn your + respect by not complaining at any of the + HARDSHIPS of the Tour, and then by rescuing + everyone from either an attack by DEMONS or the + efforts of a bad KING to imprison you all. And + after that, she will indeed Save the World, with + a little help from her friends. +

+

+ IMPORT/EXPORT + of goods clearly happens, or there would not be + BALES on WHARFS. But most goods seem purely + local, except perhaps in the FANATIC CALIPHATES + and among the MERCHANT FEUDALISTS, where things + from overseas do occasionally appear. It is not + known what the Caliphates send in exchange or + where these goods are sent. +

+
+
+

See also ECONOMY.

+
+
+

+ INCENSE + is much used, probably because all SMELLS in + Fantasyland are significant in some way. It + seems to have a strong effect on everyone, + particularly Tourists. When EVIL, Incense is + used by ENCHANTRESSES and WITCHES and in + TEMPLES; the OMTs are heavy, soporific, + seductive, etc. When GOOD, it will be + used by the GAY MAGE and referred to by what it + was made from, as lavender, camomile, aniseed, + pine, etc. +

+

+ INCIDENTS + should happen at regular intervals on every + Tour. You should not be able to travel more than + fifty miles without something happening. Usually + they start small and work up to big. +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Small Incidents include: AMBUSH (by BANDITS + or LEATHERY-WINGED AVIANS); BETRAYAL; arrest + by Imperial GUARDS; attack by prehensile + TREES; SEX with a Tour COMPANION; an + encounter with a WIZARD/ DRAGON/MINION OF + THE DARK LORD/Fortune Teller; bad WEATHER; + crossing a RIVER; an arrow shot suddenly + from nowhere (it will miss everyone and + stick in a tree); stealing something from a + MONASTERY/TEMPLE; a near-fatal visit from + VAMPIRES in the night; stumbling into + QUICKSAND…. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Medium-Sized Incidents can be: magical + STORMS; attack by small APELIKE CANNIBALS or + inferior DEMONS; being caught in crossfire + during a WIZARDS’ argument; capture by an + ENCHANTRESS/PIRATES/PRIESTS/ NORTHERN + BARBARIANS; being hunted by MINIONS OF THE + DARK LORD or PRIESTS; losing your FOOD + supply; visiting a KING; becoming lost in + CAVES; imprisonment/TORTURE; being enslaved + as a GLADIATOR and having to FIGHT in the + arena…. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Medium-Big Incidents often concern: large + DEMONS; SIEGES/battles, but not of a + conclusive nature; intervention of + DRAGONS/WIZARDS/GODDESSES AND GODS/ STONE + CIRCLES; entrapment by a puppet KING; + confrontation with an ENCHANTRESS/high + MINION OF THE DARK LORD; losing your + soul/SWORD/COMPANIONS; major MAGIC, + resulting in earthquakes/volcanic + activity/other large destructions; the + opposition stealing your QUEST + OBJECT…. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + Big Incidents are anything involving the + end of the DARK LORD/world/both + together. + You do not get these until you have taken + at least two previous Tours. +
    +
    5. +
+
+

+ INDUSTRY. + Apart from a bit of pottery and light + metalwork, or some slagheaps around the domain + of the DARK LORD, most Tours encounter no + Industry at all. + Even EMBROIDERY factories are kept well out of + sight. +

+
+
+

See also ECONOMY.

+
+
+

+ INFORMATION. + See KNOWLEDGE. +

+
+
+

+ INLAND SEA. + There is always one of these somewhere around + the midpoint of the continent. + Tourists must expect to have to embark upon it + at some stage in the Tour. + It has PIRATES, but few or no SEA + MONSTERS. + Because it is shallower than the OUTER OCEAN, + voyaging on it will be very choppy. + Also, maybe because the land is all round it, + it is extremely susceptible to both normal + STORMS and STORM CONTROL. + Expect a miserable voyage ending in capture and + enslavement, or in shipwreck, or at the very + least a fran tic race in which your MAGIC USER + tries to keep your SHIP ahead of the + pursuit. +

+

+ INNKEEPERS + are all so alike that the Tourist may be + pardoned for thinking she/he has not moved from + one INN to the next. Innkeepers are tall, fat, + male, aproned, busy, and normally jovial. They + are there to serve and shout orders to barmaids. + They take everything in their stride, from + STRANGE RACES and TAVERN BRAWLS to peculiar + requests from Tourists with awkward SECRETS to + conceal. They seldom otherwise intrude on the + action. They are always too busy. It is not + known when these admirable men find time to eat + or sleep. +

+
+
+

+ INNS + exist in TOWNS and CITIES, but seldom outside + them, except at crossroads that are miles from + anywhere. They are quite large buildings, mostly + of wood, and are always larger upstairs than + downstairs. Downstairs there is space for only + the taproom and bar – a low-ceilinged CHAMBER + with a fireplace at each end, the bar at one + side and many tables and benches – and a KITCHEN + off the back; but upstairs there is space for + innumerable sleeping chambers (OMT) for the Tour + party, plus whatever rooms the INNKEEPER and his + staff use, all arranged around long corridors so + that people can creep from one to the other and + intruders can invade the rooms of Tourists + either to search their baggage or to menace them + with DAGGERS. There are also extensive cellars, + but these are only rarely brought into the + action. Outside, there will be a yard and + stables for the HORSES. Sometimes, the prudent + Tourist will stay in the stable with her/his + Horse. It is generally a lot safer. Quite a lot + of INCIDENTS tend to happen in Inns. +

+
+
+

+ See also BAR SERVICE and PATRONS OF INNS. +

+
+
+

+ WHAT TO ORDER AT AN INN +

+

+ The short answer is Nothing. + When you arrive, the Innkeeper will bustle out + and offer to show you to your Chamber at + once. + He will assume that you will then come + downstairs to the taproom, where you will be + served with Beer and Stew and, possibly, some + bread. + It is no good saying that you don’t like Beer + and would rather have milk. + Inns do not stock milk. + And the same applies to desserts. + It is no good, either, going to your Chamber + and trying to eat the chocolate you have sneaked + into your baggage. + You have to stay in the taproom, or you will + coincide with the Intruder who will be busy + searching your baggage. + You will not wish to interrupt her/him, because + she/he will have a knife. +

+
+
+

+ INN SIGNS + are always crudely painted (OMT) . + Art – except the sort of obscenely decadent art + you may encounter on a TEMPLE wall and turn away + from with an embarrassed wince – does not seem + to be studied by the inhabitants of Fantasyland, + possibly because they are usually so busy + fighting and coping with magically induced + CATACLYSMS. Do not be surprised to find that + every Inn Sign creaks loudly. This is a form of + aural advertising. +

+
+
+

+ (The gloomy wall tapestries in MANSIONS might + be thought of as another form of art seen in + Fantasyland, but most observers agree, having + studied these tapestries, that, whatever they + are, it is not art.) +

+
+
+

+ INSCRIPTIONS + are widespread. Tourists will need to keep + someone on hand who can decipher (OMT) such + things. They can be in RUNES, HIEROGLYPHS, or + ordinary writing, but the Rule is that they are + always hard to read. Although only about forty + percent of Inscriptions prove to be important, + you can never tell until you know what they say. + Inscriptions occur: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + On AMULETS and COINAGE. Only about half of + these are significant. If an Amulet is + Inscribed with the NAME of its maker, this + is some guide to its MAGIC strength and + efficiency. Your TOUR MENTOR will know. + Coinage will have a picture of the last or + current KING and an Inscription that gives + his name and dates. It is surprising how + often this King’s profile will resemble that + of a young woman on the Tour, and thus give + you a clue to her identity. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + In stone, on DWARVEN FASTNESSES, CITADELS, + and TOMBS. Two-thirds of these are the + equivalent of GNOMIC UTTERANCES and say sad + things about Dying or threatening things + about regretting it should you try to barge + inside. These simply set the mood. The other + third will contain valuable KNOWLEDGE or + MAGIC formulae for entering. Again, your + Tour Mentor will know. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + In GRIMOIRES and SCROLLS. These always + stand out in some way, often by being in + another language, but again only about + one-third will contain Knowledge. The rest + will be threats or sad remarks by + copyists. +
    +
    4. +
+
+

+ INSECTS + are almost nonexistent, possibly as a result of + the WIZARDS’ WAR (see also ECOLOGY). Parasitic + insects such as LICE and bedbugs have mostly + been stamped out – although fleas are still + popular – and only HOVELS occasionally manifest + houseflies. Small numbers of bees must exist, + since honey is often served by friendly WIZARDS + and people who live in CLIFF DWELLINGS, and so + must silkworms, because so many persons wear + silken garments. Otherwise, almost the only + recorded Insects are the mosquitoes all Tourists + complain of in the MARSHES (in stinging clouds (OMT)) . +

+
+
+

+ INVISIBILITY + can be induced by RINGS, CLOAKS, and MAGIC + headgear, and also by competent MAGIC USERS + either on themselves or a third party. It seldom + occurs to more than one person at once. In + essence, Invisibility inhabits that dubious + ground between ILLUSION and true Magic. In its + minor forms it is a SPELL that says “Don’t + notice me,” which directs the eye of the + beholder away from the operator, who is not + really Invisible at all. Most Tourists can avail + themselves of this Spell when escaping from a + CITY. Median forms of Invisibility will make the + operator’s body wholly transpicuous, but that + body will cast a shadow and appear in any + MIRROR. Avoid bright lights and reflecting + surfaces in these cases, where the Invisibility + is really an Illusion. True Invisibility renders + the body and its shadow unseeable. This is the + rarest and most magical kind. Tourists should + bear in mind that all cases of Invisibility are + Spells of sight only, and do not affect sounds, + SMELLS, and touch. The City GUARD will be able + to hear you, smell you, and feel you. Tiptoe + past, and do not cough, bump into anyone, or + sweat too much. +

+

+ INVISIBLE COLLEGE + is used for training WIZARDS and usually + occupies a prime site in some major CITY. Once + you have penetrated its invisible exterior, you + will find it has the usual features of an + Oxbridge college – dining hall, buttery, + library, towers, lecture rooms, tutors, and even + students – but all a little skewed. The Rule + here is that, if something magical could + possibly go wrong, it will. Be prepared for the + Universe to split and for coloured explosions, + levitating towers, and tutors in ANIMAL + form. +

+
+
+

+ See also APPRENTICES, CITY OF WIZARDS, and + HIDDEN CITY. +

+
+
+

+ IRON + is around in great quantities (this often + causes distress to various magical beings), but + it is impossible to get to see iron being mined + or smelted. The Management doubtless knows why + this should be, but Tourists and AVERAGE FOLK + are left to conclude that it is All Very + Magical. +

+

+ ISLANDERS + are always unusual in some way; this is the + Rule. It comes of being descended mostly from + PIRATES. At the very least, they are likely to + know MAGIC that is not like any other. They tend + to build unusually constructed harbours, often + defended by Magic. Their SHIPS trade from here. + Most Islanders have a strong commercial bent, + but under attack they always run about + uselessly, and when tidal waves threaten their + ISLANDS they have no idea what to do. +

+

+ ISLANDS + are moved about by the Management at will. + Sometimes they are in the INLAND SEA, in which + case one or more may be the abode of a reclusive + WIZARD, and sometimes they are strategically + placed at the centre of several sea routes, in + which case they are usually the seat of a HIGH + KING. Islands further out to sea are + traditionally at risk from huge tidal waves + generated by underwater volcanoes. +

+
+
+

See also ISLANDERS.

+
+

 

+

+
+

J

+

+ Just when you think the taxes are all paid and + there is nothing more to worry about is the time + you should leave home secretly. This is just the + time when everyone will ask you for money. +

+

+ - + Ka’a Orto’o, Gnomic Utterances, XI V + clvi +

+
+
+

+ JEWELLERY. + The Rule is that it all has magical purpose. + The Management takes the very reasonable line + that no one is going to wear or carry something + just because it is pretty or beautifully made. + Your pendant will always be an AMULET, your + brooch a TALISMAN, and your necklace will be of + CRYSTAL, which will enable you to communicate + with distant friends. If you pick up a piece of + Jewellery by the roadside or in a MARKET it + will, whatever it looks like, turn out to have + some MAGIC. Take care, however. By far the + majority of Jewellery is EVIL or, if not Evil, + will have conditions attached to its use. For + instance, a Ring can either put you under the + influence of the DARK LORD or grant wishes while + ageing you ten years for every wish. In + Fantasyland, even Jewellery you have owned for + years will turn out to be something of this + kind. If you are lucky, your mother’s Ring will + merely bring out your latent TALENT. But don’t + bank on it. Be careful particularly of Jewellery + pressed upon you by a dying stranger. +

+
+
+

See also JEWELS.

+
+
+

+ JEWELS + can, provided they are large enough, be QUEST + OBJECTS. Huge rubies, massive sapphires, + enormous emeralds, and other great big gems + unknown in our world can all be imbued with + potencies of various kinds, lost, and then + Quested for. Diamonds, oddly, are not much + desired, but the rest are eminently collectible. + Their exact powers are at the discretion of the + Management. Just a few of them have sentimental + value only. +

+
+
+

See also JEWELLERY.

+
+
+

+ JOKES + are against the Rules, except for very bad + cumbersome jokes cracked by GUARDS, MERCENARIES, + OTHER PEOPLES, and servitors. (It is believed + that the Management in fact thinks these are + very good jokes, and treasures them.) Everyone + else must be deadly serious, although the SMALL + MAN, some WIZARDS, and most bad KINGS are + allowed to have a sense of humor – and see also + THIEVES’ GUILD. +

+

+ JOURNEY + is of course your Tour. No discovery or action + can take place in Fantasyland without a good + deal of travelling about. This is in the Rules. + The Tour will be set up so that you will find at + the outset you need to go to a CITY on the other + side of the continent. Once there, you will find + you need to go to the extreme south. And so on. + You can count on the worst conditions for doing + so. (See HARDSHIP, which the Management seems to + find synonymous.) (See also LANDSCAPE, ROADS, + and TERRAIN, of which you will see lots.) (Oh, + and HORSES, which you will have to ride, BOOTS, + which you will need when all your Horses are + dead, and DARK LORD, who will be trying to stop + you every mile of your Journey.) JOURNEY + CAKE. + See FOOD and WAYBREAD. +

+
+
+

+ JUGGLERS + are normally hired as extras by the Management + and will exhibit their skills in most MARKETS + and often also in PALACES. They will be there + purely for local colour and your entertainment. + In rare cases, the Tourist will need to hide in + a troupe of Jugglers and even learn juggling + skills. You can tell when you are going to have + to do this because the Jugglers will have + NAMES. +

+

+ JUSTICE + does not exist as such. In some CITIES there + will be officials called Justices, but the name + means nothing. You will have to pay them and + they will then sell you a favourable verdict. Do + not look for Justice even in the Court of a GOOD + KING. With the best of intentions, the King will + be forced to judge against you and may even + order you horribly executed. It is better to + steer clear of legal matters entirely. +

+

 

+
+

+
+

K

+

+ Kinship is a bondage dragons feel more keenly + than men. Their mothers-in-law live + longer. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, Gnomic Utterances, + I iii +

+
+
+

+ KING’S MEN + are the elite soldiers who surround any KING. + You will encounter three sorts: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + GOOD. These usually guard a Good King, but + on rare occasions you will find them + guarding a King that nobody knows is bad. + They are very smart and well trained and + their drill is as crisp as any you will see. + But they are human. At some point you will + encounter them in a relaxed mood, joshing + their captain, swearing merrily, and + recounting touching anecdotes about their + young children. They are the salt of the + earth, like their King, but there will + probably be a time when they have to arrest + you. When this happens, they will tell you + how much they regret it and not give you any + chance to escape. You will have to rely on + outside help for that. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + BAD. These guard either a bad King or a + feeble one. Outwardly they seem like the + GOOD guards, but in reality they are cruel + and coarse. You can tell they are because + they swear nastily and their quarters are a + mess. When these arrest you, they will find + every opportunity to kick you or twist your + arm. They will lick their lips when they + hear you are to be put to the TORTURE and + ask to watch. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Automata. These are always in full ARMOUR + and HELMETS (with the visors down). This is + because they are not human anymore. The DARK + LORD has made their wills his own, and they + behave as if they are clockwork, often in + unison. They keep coming at you while you + are killing them. Usually these GUARDS are + in the employ of a puppet King or a MINION + OF THE DARK LORD, but sometimes there are + whole ARMIES of them directly under the + command of the Dark Lord. It is hard to see + why the Dark Lord goes to the trouble of + enslaving so many minds, unless the aim is + to produce ideal soldiers, in which case a + good Sergeant Major is probably cheaper and + quicker. +
    +
    4. +
+
+

+ KINGS + come in four kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Puppet Kings. These are EVIL, entirely + under the power of the DARK LORD, usually + through the use of some magic-psychic device + such as a glowing RING or a CRYSTAL BALL. + You can detect them by the empty look in + their eyes and by the fact that their + followers behave like automata (see KING’S + MEN). They will be very dangerous and must + be either tricked or released from their + bondage to the device. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Bad Kings. These manage to be EVIL entirely + on their own. They are harder to detect, + because they often have the air of quite + pleasant people and, indeed, usually have + some good traits of character, such as + strength of mind and intelligence. The main + way of discovering they are bad is to see + how polite they are. Truly Evil Kings are + very polite. They will offer you all sorts + of luxuries and attempt to divert you from + the Tour by every courteous ploy they can + think of. Only when you refuse will they + show their true colours, after which they + will imprison you. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Good Kings are rough diamonds and the salt + of the earth. They are easy to detect by + their bluff manner and the lack of riches or + protocol in their Court. The very best Good + Kings always have their crowns on + crooked. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + Long-lost Kings. These are Kings who have + been hidden or mislaid soon after birth. + They are normally rather young and will be + using the Tour to acquire both experience as + rulers and various items of Royal regalia + (SWORD, SCEPTRE, RING, CUP, etc.) which have + been lost at least as long as they have. + There is, however, a subsection of long-lost + Kings who have been magically deprived of + their THRONES. This will have been done + either by the implanting of false memories + or, in extreme cases, by transplanting the + monarch to another body. In these cases the + throne will be held by a usurper. Otherwise + the same Rules apply. There is obviously a + bit of an overlap between long-lost Kings + and MISSING HEIRS, but you can generally + tell the difference when you see one: a + Missing Heir is almost inhumanly + naive. +
    +
    5. +
+
+

+ Note that many Kings have a curious + relationship with the patch of land they happen + to be entitled to rule. + If they are absent too long or failing in their + duties, crops will not grow, cattle will die, + and there will be general bad luck. + COUNTRIES where a formerly good King develops a + serious personality problem will in sympathy + evolve a malign microclimate, entailing drought + in winter, snow in summer, and rain during the + harvest. + This may be one reason why the choice of FOOD + in Fantasyland is so limited. +

+
+
+

+ KITCHEN. + The place where STEW gets made. In CASTLES, + INNS, and PALACES there are always large greasy + stone Kitchens, usually with an open fire where + cauldrons of Stew are boiling and the occasional + CHICKEN is roasting. Kitchens are presided over + by both male and female COOKS, though the Cook + in an Inn is regularly female; all have the + vilest possible tempers. There will be a lot of + shouting and much hurrying about with enormous + platters. Helpers in a Kitchen have a miserable + time and may often be hit over the head with + ladles, etc., for failing to wash dishes quickly + enough. Most Tourists will at some time in the + Tour get a stint as a Kitchen helper, mostly + when MONEY runs out but sometimes as a disguise + or because a MAGIC USER has decided to punish + them. When this happens, see if the Cook is fat + or thin. A glance at her/his COLOUR CODING might + be useful too. Some turn out to have hearts of + gold under the apron and the shouting. Some are + just swine, in which case you can only + suffer. +

+

+ KNITTING. + It is possible that Knitting has not yet been + invented in Fantasyland – at least so far as + mortals are concerned (see CRONE). The complete + absence of SOCKS and sweaters suggests that the + inhabitants have concentrated instead on + EMBROIDERY and weaving. +

+

+ KNOWLEDGE + can, in rare cases, be your QUEST OBJECT, but + only if it is very important, such as the one + fact or PROPHECY which will be essential if you + are to go about SAVING THE WORLD. Very often, + this Knowledge appears in pieces, which the + Tourist must collect and assemble in the correct + order, and then endeavour to understand before + action can be taken. Sometimes there is the + added twist that the Knowledge has been + collected without your knowing it. In this case, + you must have an inspiration before recognising + it. A friendly WIZARD or Tour MENTOR can help + here. They will madden you, but they will give + hints. +

+

 

+
+

+
+

L

+

+ “Laugh long, live long,” + was the saying of the Sage Grometherus. He took + poison to prove it and died chuckling. +

+

+ - + Ka’a Orto’o, + Gnomic Utterances, + XXXIX i +

+
+
+

+ LANDLORDS + are always INNKEEPERS. The term is never used + for those who own property for rent. +

+

+ LANDSCAPE. + During a Tour, both Tourists and Management + will be kept too busy to examine the Landscape + much. The Management will draw your attention to + a view only when it is likely to prove a threat. + Thus a WOOD will be mentioned if the TREES or + WOODSMEN are going to be hostile, MOUNTAINS will + figure if you are going to have to cross them in + bad WEATHER, and steep-sided gorges are + delineated when you are about to be AMBUSHED + there. If you want to know what the average + Landscape is like, consult the cover of any + brochure. Here you will see a range of spiky + Mountains in the distance, from which a tall + WATERFALL descends adorned with a rainbow at its + crest. There will be huge and intensely gnarled + Trees in the foreground, and both these features + will dwarf the line of horsemen making its way + across a misty green plain towards the + Mountains. The sky is orange and purple. + This is what Fantasyland really looks like. + This is what entices Tourists to enrol for + Tours. +

+

+ LANGUAGES + are seldom as numerous or as difficult to learn + as those of our own world. Most Tours arrange + for all inhabitants to speak the same Language + or else for most people to know the Common + Tongue, even if they speak some other tongue to + their families. The exception to this is the + OTHER CONTINENT, where the Tourist wilt have to + master a little of the Language. On some Tours, + the Management will arrange for a convenient + translation SPELL to be cast just as the Tourist + is entering the world. But none of this applies + to MAGIC. The Language of Spells is usually + highly obscure. Sometimes it is the same as the + Old Tongue, sometimes not. The Old Tongue is + what the really important SCROLLS will be + written in (possibly in HIEROGLYPHS or RUNES), + and you will need a translator for that. There + is only one of it. Evidently the former + inhabitants spoke only the one Language. This + seems to make it very potent. Just occasionally, + when a Tourist is truly beleaguered by Magic, + either trying to get through a magic door that + will not open or about to lose to someone EVIL, + the Old Tongue has a way of suddenly making + itself known. Then the Tourist will find + her/himself crying out strange words. But do not + expect this to happen much. +

+
+
+

+ See also CAPITAL LETTERS and SPEECH. +

+
+
+

+ LARGE MAN + may not join the Tour until encountered aboard + the Slave GALLEY. + He is very calm, very strong, and not at all + stupid. + In some cases he will have been a BLACKSMITH, + which accounts for the ease with which he severs + the chains in the Galley. + He is often a BARBARY VIKING as well, in which + case he will enjoy killing people, preferably + more than one at once. In some cases, he is also + ELITE, and the Gods take an interest in him; + from the moment he joins the Tour, things start + to get busy. +

+

+ LAST BATTLE. + See CONFRONTATIONS. +

+

+ LEATHERY-WINGED AVIANS + usually attack the party early in the Tour, + always at night, and generally on an exposed + hilltop. You can tell they are about to attack + because of the SMELL (see also REEK OF + WRONGNESS + (OMT) and DANGER). They will be beaten off + quite easily, but it will be a good scrap. They + have probably been sent by a MINION OF THE DARK + LORD to feel out the strength of the party, and + will not reappear. Since it is always dark when + they attack, it is hard to get much idea of + their appearance, but they are thought to be + about four feet from wingtip to wingtip, with + sharp claws and teeth (razorlike (OMT)). Where they inflict a wound, + that wound will fester instantly. As to their + origin, they seem to be some WIZARD’S attempt to + create pterodactyls (see BREEDING PROGRAMMES and + ECOLOGY). +

+

+ LEGENDS + are an important source of true information. + They always turn out to be far more accurate + than HISTORY. Listen and attend carefully if + anyone recounts you a Legend. The person telling + it may be an old HERBWOMAN, a BARD, a bad KING, + one of your COMPANIONS, or just someone in an + INN. But no matter how improbable the story, it + will always turn out to be the exact truth, and + only by following it accurately can you hope to + succeed in your QUEST. The Management will never + allow anyone to tell you a Legend unless it is + going to be important for you to know. +

+

+ LICE + seem to be extinct in Fantasyland, possibly + because of the good management of the + Management. Fleas, by contrast, infest most + BLANKETS and all BEGGARS – they are among + Fantasyland’s very few INSECTS. +

+

+ LIGHTING + – unless Magical (see MAGELIGHT and WITCHLIGHT) + – is nearly always primitive and inconvenient, + unless magically supplied. There are, in order + of frequency: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Torches, which are used particularly in + PALACES, CASTLES, and DUNGEONS, but also in + the streets. These consist of a hefty stick + with something flammable at one end. They + are not at all convenient, since they are + always flaring (OMT) and guttering (OMT) and + must constitute a considerable FIRE risk in + TOWNS where buildings are mostly of wood. + They frequently blow out (the Rule here is + that they do so at the worst possible + moment) or simply burn away and plunge you + into darkness while you are + underground. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Candles, either solitary or in candelabra. + These are used in INNS and other indoor + places. Again there is risk of Fire during + TAVERN BRAWLS, but Brawls very seldom do + that amount of damage. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Rocks deep underground which glow with an + eerie light of their own. Fortunately, these + are often found moments after your torch has + burnt out. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + Glowbaskets. These are popular in some + areas and may be magical. Usually they are a + handwoven basket hung high on a wall and + filled with something that glows with a soft + greenish light (OMT) . + The contents of the baskets may be either + some form of mutant glowworm or stones, + possibly chipped from the rocks that glow + underground. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + Lanterns – which, in the absence of + electricity, might be supposed to be the + most practical form of shielded light – are + surprisingly uncommon and used mostly on the + infrequent carriages (see TRANSPORT). +
    +
    6. +
  6. +
    + SWORDS. +
    +
    7. +
+
+

+ LITTLE PEOPLE + come in all sizes, from knee-high right up to + the shoulder of the average human, and in a + variety of breeds. The general Rule is that the + smaller kinds are more like humans, while the + larger ones get hairier and hairier, beginning + with hairy feet and ending with hairy + everything. All of them live in secret retired + places, in either WOODS or MOUNTAINS, and come + out only to join the Tour and help in SAVING THE + WORLD. They are surprisingly cheerful, + efficient, and brave, and usually win through + where humans fail. If you have one or more on + your Tour, count yourself lucky. Apart from + anything else, Little People are allowed to make + JOKES. +

+
+
+

+ LOST LANDS, + which are like Atlantis or Eldorado in our own + world, are surprisingly frequent. Fantasyland + seems to have been losing bits of itself for a + long time. This happens most often on the + PANCELTIC + TOUR, where the LOST LAND must as a matter of + course be visited to acquire items of regalia or + QUEST OBJECTS unaccountably mislaid there. There + is a strong suggestion always that the LOST LAND + is also really the Land of the Dead, in which + case Tourists must be careful not to assume that + they are dead when they get there, or they might + not be able to leave. +

+

 

+
+

+
+

M

+

+ Martas V, Tyrant of Do’olge’ethly, always cut + one hair from his head every day – no more, no + less. This, it was said, greatly prolonged his + reign, since everyone was waiting to see him + with a full haircut. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, Gnomic Utterances, + CLI vi +

+
+
+

+ MAGE. + A fully qualified MAGIC USER who is either in + the wings or taking only a cameo role in the + action. Bit-part Mages are usually present as a + team. The exception to this is the GAY MAGE, who + is on his own and a Tour COMPANION. +

+

+ MAGELIGHT OR MAGEFIRE + is so common among MAGIC USERS that it is + probably what an APPRENTICE Wizard learns to do + on his first day. The operator simply thinks, + and a small ball of bluish or white light + appears either on the hand or hovering in the + air, at the shoulder, above the head, or on the + end of the STAFF. Magelight has two uses: it + gives light in dark places, and it shows that + the maker can do MAGIC. When a more powerful + Magic User overwhelms the one making the light, + the Magelight normally flickers and dims away. + Thus it is also a sort of Magic meter. It is + otherwise not good for anything much, but it + would be nice to be able to do it. +

+
+
+

See also WITCH LIGHT.

+
+
+

+ MAGIC + has slightly different Rules for every Tour. + Tourists had better find out swiftly which Rules + apply or there could be problems. Luckily the + Management seldom or never changes the Rules in + mid-Tour, but it has been known to reserve one + or two extra SECRETS for a nasty surprise later + on. Even when the Rules are very clear, a Tour + will have several different systems of Magic in + operation. This is because Magic is an impure + art. You will have to contend with at least + three of the following kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Magic that exists like liquid in a + reservoir. Here the operator simply attaches + a sort of magical hose and draws off what + she/he needs. Attaching the hose often takes + a trance to do, whereupon the operator also + becomes the hose. HEALERS use this + method. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Magic that is rather like electricity. Here + the process is a longer one. The Magic has + first to be generated or acquired by + invocation; then it must be shaped or fed + into the machinery (this is usually done + with diagrams, RUNES, and incantations); and + finally it must be plugged in to operate by + GESTURE or word of POWER. (See + SPELLS.) +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Mind Magic. This is quicker. The operator + simply + concentrates + (OMT). + This system applies to FARSEEING, + FIRESTARTING, FORESEEING, MINDSPEECH, + TELEKINESIS, TELEPORTING, and most + SHAPESHIFTING. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + Thought Magic. Here the operator can, + simply by having very powerful ideas, send + out physical feelings that wound, cure, or + transform another person. The red-eyed + MINIONS OF THE DARK LORD do this when + pursuing Tourists. The OMT is baleful + influence. + The afflicted Tourist will feel cold, weak, + and contaminated, and may take days to + recover. The Rules forbid Good WIZARDS to do + this back to the forces of Dark, although + they could, quite easily. They have to leave + this to a humble Tourist, who will confront + the DARK LORD and pour thoughts of GOOD at + him. It is very effective. The Dark Lord + usually finds this as painful as a bath of + acid. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + Sympathetic Magic. This is when the + operator takes a piece of something/someone, + such as a wood splinter or a nail clipping. + Sometimes this is made into a small model, + and named if necessary. The piece is then + moved about like a computer mouse and the + bigger object/person will do exactly the + same, just like the mouse pointer. Many + CURSES act this way. You have to repossess + the piece. Alternatively, the piece of you + that is used is nothing physical, but + instead your NAME. Repossessing this can be + more difficult. +
    +
    6. +
  6. +
    + Magic with a price. Here the operator has + to pay in some way for the Magic used. This + may be selling her/his soul to a DEMON, or + simply becoming very tired. Setting WARDS + seems to act this latter way. +
    +
    7. +
  7. +
    + Nature Magic. This often involves HERBS, + though it can also be done by attuning to + TREES and breezes and things. The operator + uses the correct natural object and the + result follows. +
    +
    8. +
  8. +
    + Pattern Magic. Here the Magic lies like + threads in a design. The operator perceives + this by WITCH SIGHT, takes up the threads, + and tugs. +
    +
    9. +
  9. +
    + MUSIC. +
    +
    10. +
  10. +
    + Alien Magic. DEMONS, DRAGONS, ELVES, + GNOMES, GODDESSES AND GODS, and MARSH + DWELLERS all have Magic that works in a + quite different way from any of the above. + The Rules are not known. +
    +
    11. +
+
+

+ MAGICIAN. + A MAGIC USER who knows about the mechanics of + SPELLS. Get him to check your SWORD. +

+
+
+

+ MAGIC OBJECTS + can be almost anything, but the important ones + are usually QUEST OBJECTS too. There are two + kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Objects that have been bewitched or + bespelled. This can be a temporary SPELL on + a BUILDING or a coal scuttle or a BOOT, to + make it behave in a startling way; or it can + be an enchantment carefully crafted to be + permanent. Spells on SWORDS, RINGS, and + JEWELS are normally of this kind. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Objects that contain their own Magic. This + is done by +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + Making the Object of some + substance, such as CRYSTAL, that + gives off Magic like radioactivity. + ORBS are like this. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + Making the Object in a certain way; + for instance, SCEPTRES, STONE + CIRCLES, and some SWORDS are Magic + because they are the shapes they + are. If a Tourist is stupid enough + to twist a gem out of a Sceptre or + remove a STONE from a henge, or + hammer out the rib down the centre + of a Sword, none of them will work + properly. +
      +
      3. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ MAGIC USERS. + Anyone capable of using MAGIC. They range from + the untaught or APPRENTICE or NOVICE right + through to WIZARDS and DARK LORDS. Most have + NAMES that describe their status or speciality, + such as ENCHANTRESS, MAGE, Necromancer (see + NECROMANCY), but they all have in common the + fact that they were born with magical + TALENTS/GIFTS. Some never come to very much, but + most go on to years of rigorous training and + studies. The result nearly always seems to be + that their lives get incredibly prolonged. + Wizards live for thousands of years. It seems + that the longer a person marinades her/himself + in Magic, the longer she/he lives. Only HEALERS + seem to be exempt from this Rule. +

+

+ MAIDS. + These are well built young women (buxom + (OMT) + and sweating (OMT)) who wait at table or act as + barmaids in the taprooms of all INNS. + Traditionally, they are always in a hurry + because there are too few of them and too many + patrons, all of whom are shouting for service; + they are further distracted by the INNKEEPER + bawling incomprehensibly at them. +

+
+
+

+ See also BAR SERVICE and EUNUCHS. +

+
+
+

+ MANAGEMENT + is the body who has arranged this Tour for you. + It has made up the Rules for your comfort and + convenience, so that no Tourist will ever be + taken by surprise or shocked by an unexpected + INCIDENT. Management reserves the right to alter + the Rules in accordance with current fashions, + and will admit absolutely no complaints or + responsibility. It wishes you a safe and happy + Tour of Fantasyland. +

+

+ MANAGEMENT DIRECTIVES + occur when the Management requires heavenly + choirs to add to the usual OFFICIAL MANAGEMENT + TERMS (OMTs). This is when the Tour gets + particularly doom laden (OMT) usually in the + lead-up to the CONCLUSION. Then the OMTs go into + overdrive and start saying things backwards. + Typical MDs are Grim were they and of awesome + countenance, or Wan was that dawn and spectral + the Sun, or High and frowning were the walls but + undaunted was the assault thereon, or Sang they + with eagerness and sang their swords with + them. + Anyway, you’ll know one when you see one. +

+

+ MANSIONS + are rare and usually rather tumbledown + BUILDINGS. They are where lords and BARONS live. + Their chief features are wall tapestries, oak + staircases, an elderly butler, a gallery of + family portraits, and GHOSTS. Expect to be + uncomfortable in any Mansion. The four-poster + BEDS will certainly be damp. However, you will + be spared from having to sleep much in yours + thanks to haunts, VAMPIRES, and other + INCIDENTS. +

+

+ MAP. + See Introduction for description. We must + emphasize again here that no Tour is complete + without a Map. Further, you must not expect to + be let off from visiting every damn place shown + on it. +

+

+ MARKETS + are a feature of every TOWN of any size. They + comprise stalls and BOOTHS and lots of SMELLS + and shouting. It is where you go for local + colour, though you may buy cooked food in + insanitary wrappings if you feel so inclined + (see SQUALOR). Stalls sell mostly food, Booths + clothing, armour, and jewellery. There are also + plentiful fresh vegetables on sale. You might as + well buy some, as no one else seems to eat the + things. This is the place where you will come + for your SWORD, CLOTHING, and possibly your + HORSE. You will be cheated. If you need a + jobbing MAGICIAN to test your Sword (this is + strongly advised: see SWORDS), you will find him + here in a Booth in one comer. +

+

+ MARSH DWELLERS + are the Basques of Fantasyland, entirely + different from other PEOPLES and quite as + anxious to be independent. They can be human or + Other. In either case, they are smallish, + brownish, a little twisted (perhaps + rheumatically, since they DWELL in such a wet + place), with thin limbs and wild brownish weedy + hair. They worship an entirely different God, + who requires much drumming and lots of + SACRIFICES (which involve impaling the victim on + a stake), and they use a form of MAGIC that no + one else can use. They are expert at lurking + entirely unseen until the Tour party is + thoroughly lost in the MARSHES, whereupon they + will spring out and capture everyone. They will + then keep everyone prisoner in a pit, under a + net, inside a fence of long thorns, or just + unable to move because of Magic, until the + ritual hour for Sacrifice has come. Tourists are + advised to attempt to persuade these people not + to kill them before this hour arrives. This is + not easy, since the Marsh Dwellers speak a + strange LANGUAGE, but usually an interpreter is + provided, almost but not quite too late to be of + use. After that, there will be apologies and + then a feast of ROOTS. +

+

+ MARSHES + are an area in the southern-central part of the + continent where everything suddenly goes wrong + and different. The Management has usually + thoughtfully provided you with a BOAT shortly + before you enter the Marshes; if not, you should + acquire one soonest. The land here becomes + mostly WATER, winding sluggishly in multiple + channels between banks and islands too soggy to + bear your weight. Generally, unpleasant drooping + Trees clutch at you as you punt past and brakes + of gigantic rushes look ineffably menacing + (OMT); all this adds to your confusion about + which is north and also harbours millions of + mosquitoes (in stinging clouds (OMT)) which will eat you + alive. You will at this stage be lost, + food-less, and without WATER. You will not dare + to drink from the muddy channels – and with good + reason. Strange squirming things swim there, and + sometimes there are predators. On some Tours, + the overhanging Trees are replaced by small + thorny bushes, but the only difference is that + the mosquitoes come out at night when you + attempt to CAMP on a muddy ISLAND, and by day a + cruel wind sweeps over everything. In both cases + you will be overwhelmed by dread (OMT) and a + sense of danger (OMT) . + After a few days of it all, you will almost be + glad when the MARSH DWELLERS take you prisoner. + They will at least drag you to the only firm + ground in the area. +

+
+
+

+ MAYOR. + The head of the TOWN COUNCIL and usually a + bumbling idiot. Quite often he is a MINION OF + THE DARK LORD, but only a minor one. Keep out of + his way. +

+

+ MENTOR. + A Tour official who will be at your service + until halfway through the Tour, when you will + unaccountably lose him. Before that he will + guide you, tell you what to do in the face of + strange customs, and even sometimes instruct you + in how to perform minor MAGICS. He will be + several hundred years old and will probably have + a long white beard; this will give him the right + to be bossy, smug, tiresomely philosophical, and + infuriatingly secretive about all-important + facts. You will be glad to see the back of the + old idiot. Unfortunately, you won’t have. He + will reappear, smugger and bossier than ever, + near the end of the Tour, just when you thought + you were doing rather well on your own. +

+
+
+

+ See also MYSTICAL MASTERS. +

+
+
+

+ MERCENARIES + are soldiers for hire who fight WARS they are + not really interested in for (a) pay and (b) the + raping and looting they get when a CITY falls. + Their aim is to survive to enjoy this part, so + they are mostly very good soldiers indeed, + although they are sometimes rather + rough-and-ready-looking in their CLOTHING. + Either male or female (see FEMALE MERCENARY), + they are drawn, it is stated, from all over the + continent, but when you get down to enquiring + you find that most of them come from places that + are hardly on the MAP – unless they are female + captains, in which case they are from a distant + NUNNERY. Their leader is always male and mostly + has the total loyalty of all these rough types. + And they are very well organized. They spend the + summers in paid fighting and retire to winter + quarters until the fighting starts again in the + spring. Here even the roughest types will carve + exquisite statuettes in the long winter evenings + after they have finished the day’s training. + Some even read books. The people who employ + Mercenaries are normally the more corrupt of the + MERCHANT FEUDALISTS, until there is War + throughout the land. Then the Mercenaries join + the rest of the forces of GOOD. Do not be put + off by all the drinking and fighting Mercenaries + do. They are going to be on your side in the + end. +

+

+ MERCHANT FEUDALISTS + are organized in clusters of little COUNTRIES, + mostly along the coast, each ruled by a COUNCIL. + These trade with one another and are among the + few PEOPLES who seem to trade overseas as well. + Spices, silks, and olives are mentioned by the + Management here. There is no unity among + Merchant Feudalists. They all want to see their + neighbours dead or reduced to penury. By the + judicious use of POISON and MERCENARIES, they + often do. +

+

+ MERCHANTS + – when freelance – travel from an unknown place + in the south northwards to another uncertain + place. They own CARAVANS loaded with BALES. And + they love MONEY. This must be the reason so many + of them travel, because nearly all of them fall + by the wayside, victims of BANDITS or other + AMBUSHES, and the rest must know the risk. But + they keep coming. Individual Merchants are + portly (OMT), warmly dressed, and rather prone + to trust hired GUARDS on small evidence. While + alive, they drive a hard bargain. Many of them + travel with young female relatives. This is + unwise. See SLAVES, FEMALE. +

+

+ MINDSPEECH + is the regular term for Telepathy among MAGIC + USERS. Almost everyone with a spark of TALENT is + able to do it with both humans and ANIMALS. The + Tourist may be disconcerted at first when a + voice speaks out of nowhere soundlessly inside + her/his head, but it will shortly come to seem + quite natural. And do not be alarmed in case the + Mindspeaker might be able to read your inmost + thoughts: usually this is not so, or, if it + could be done, the Magic User has sworn not to. + Only the DARK LORD breaks this Rule: he will + meanly try to read your weaknesses and worst + fears and use them against you. +

+

+ MINES + are strategically placed in most hills of any + stature that are some distance from anywhere + civilized. They are of two kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Made by DWARFS. The Rule here is that the + Mine is either long deserted or at most is + inhabited by a few survivors who will make + confused claims to have been driven out/ + decimated by humans/other Dwarfs/MINIONS OF + THE DARK LORD. Inhabited or not, this Mine + will be very complex, with many levels of + galleries, beautifully carved and + engineered. What was being mined here is not + always evident, but at least some of the + time it will appear to have been JEWELS, + since it is customary to find unwanted + emeralds, etc., still embedded in the rock + on the walls. Metal will also be present, + but only when made up into armour and + weapons (wondrous (OMT)) . +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Manmade. This type of Mine appears to exist + for punishment only. It is where prisoners + of the DARK LORD or recalcitrant male SLAVES + are sent to work. The Mine will abound in + whip-wielding overseers (brutal (OMT)), chains for the inmates, + crude ladders and props, and carts to carry + the Mine produce rumbling through the + passages (OMT) . + The miners will be working very hard, but + just exactly what they are mining is, as + with 1, some thing the Management is very + coy about. Since miners die here in droves, + it is possible that the substance mined is + dangerous. It could be uranium. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ MINIONS OF THE DARK LORD + are all over the place. The DARK LORD has been + busy planting them for years. They can be either + male or female. All will be carefully supplied + with the means to slaughter Tourists appropriate + to their station. +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Mates are bad KINGS, puppet Kings, DUKES, + POWER-hungry usurpers, most HIGH PRIESTS, + ambitious MERCHANT FEUDALISTS, BARONS, + COURTIERS, fat PRINCES, Evil WIZARDS, + REGENTS, all ENEMY SPIES, and anyone who + suddenly conquers a CITY just as the Tour + arrives. We must add to this GOBLINS, + TROLLS, and random Other PEOPLES. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Females are ENCHANTRESSES, Evil WITCHES, + some HIGH PRIESTESSES, and most bad + QUEENS. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ It will be seen that the Dark Lord prefers to + employ males; they seem to respond better to + his + wiles + (OMT), especially if they are in a position of + power. But he has other shots in his locker, + such as: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + EUNUCHS, MUTANT NASTIES, and carefully + selected MONSTERS. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + UNDEAD or Demonic persons, most of them + red-eyed, wearing black and + riding black steeds + (OMT). + These persons always have formidable MAGIC + and usually operate by night. By day, they + rely on brain-dead human soldiery (such as + bad KING’S MEN) to keep up the + pursuit. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ MINSTREL + used to be a grand term, equivalent to BARD or + Harper. These days it mostly refers to the + humbler form of musician who plays busily (and + probably hungrily) in a gallery all through a + feast. +

+
+
+

See also MUSIC.

+
+
+

+ MIRRORS + are somewhat infrequent, despite the fact that + glass is used for windows. Many of them are made + of polished metal and are the property of rich + people or ENCHANTRESSES. Do not expect to find + one in any INN. Where mirrors exist, of whatever + material, they are not commonly used for combing + the hair in. They will be employed for PROPHECY + or FARSEEING or, less frequently, as the way in + from our own world to start the Tour, or simply + for travel. Glass mirrors are almost exclusively + used as a device for spotting VAMPIRES or other + ENEMIES in disguise. +

+

+ MISSING HEIRS + occur with great frequency. At any given time, + half the COUNTRIES in Fantasyland will have + mislaid their Crown PRINCESS/PRINCE, but the + Rule is that only one Missing Heir can join your + Tour at a time. Yours will join as a COMPANION + selected from among the CHILD, the TALENTED + GIRL, or the TEENAGE BOY, and as part of your + QUEST you will have to get them back to the + Kingdom where they belong. This can be a right + nuisance. All Missing Heirs shine with innocence + (some of them quite dazzlingly), and most have + very little brain, which means that they will + not pick up any hints as to their true status. + You have to do this for them. In addition, they + all have a lot of inborn Royal Qualities such as + chivalry, extreme (and embarrassing) honesty, a + tendency to give away everything to BEGGARS, and + a natural desire for the best of everything for + everyone. Since they usually have at least one + untrained Royal TALENT too, they can be quite a + handful. When the ORB, SCEPTRE, SWORD, etc., + start accepting them, this usually makes things + worse. But do not despair. Their characters + improve at once as soon as they get back where + they belong. +

+
+
+

+ Heirs go missing for a variety of + reasons: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + The THRONE was usurped and the False + Monarch ordered the Heir killed. Faithful servitors + hid her/him with a poor family instead. See + BLACKSMITH. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + The previous Royal Heir secretly married an + unsuitable girl, who fled with her child + back to her family. See BLACKSMITH + again. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + A GODDESS OR GOD, for inscrutable reasons, + removed and hid the Heir. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + A WIZARD, for equally inscrutable reasons, + did the same. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + The Royal Family has for centuries been + obliged to hide from the DARK LORD, who + killed all the previous generation before + the latest Heir could be told of her/his + BIRTHRIGHT. +
    +
    6. +
  6. +
    + All the Royal Family has died out except + for the most distant branch, which consists + only of the Missing Heir, living in poverty + and ignorance of her/his BIRTHRIGHT. See + BLACKSMITH yet again, plus KING, QUEEN, and + QUEST. +
    +
    7. +
+
+

+ MIST + is almost never due to natural causes. It is + usually one of the following: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + WEATHER Control (see STORM CONTROL). +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + At sea, when it will have been made + by a WIZARD, either to cover the + approach of PIRATES or to cover your + escape from Pirates. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + On land, when it is always a bad + sign. It will have been made by an + Evil MAGIC USER in a ravine to cover + an AMBUSH. In open country, it + conceals the approach of a hostile + ARMY. +
      +
      3. +
    +
    2. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + The + exudations + (OMT) of ancient EVIL. These creep out like + a + miasma (OMT) from places where the BLACK + ARTS have once been performed. This can date + either from the WIZARDS’ WAR or from the + BEGINNING, when it will have been made by + mistake by some God. It may also hang over + the OLD RUINED CITY as a sign that the + erstwhile inhabitants were not a good + thing. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Lumps of loose MAGIC. This kind of Mist can + be various colours, the most favoured being + red and green (see COLOUR CODING). It comes + rolling in of its own accord and, when it + engulfs the Tour, you will find all sorts of + peculiar things happening. Its usual trick + is to give you a vision of some unhappy + event in your childhood, but it can cast any + kind of ILLUSION the Management + wishes. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + A sign of any Magic being worked. You will + find a Wizard making GESTURES, and the + result will be first a Mist, followed quite + soon by the magical effect desired. For + instance, the mists rolled aside to reveal a + doorway in the cliff (OMT). +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + A sign that there is a PORTAL to some other + world. If a MIRROR dissolves into Mist, you + can be sure that you will have to go through + it. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + A sign that you have accidentally strayed + into a + PANCELTIC + TOUR. +
    +
    6. +
+
+

+ MONASTERIES. + Thick stone buildings on a steep hill. They are + full of passages, cloisters, and tiny cells, all + with no HEATING, and inhabited by MONKS, mostly + elderly and austere, some rather addled in their + wits. At the Monastery’s head will be an Abbot, + who is often portly and sly. These + establishments have three uses: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + For SCROLLS (see also TEMPLES). Any Scroll + containing information vital to the Tour + QUEST is likely to be jealously guarded in a + Monastery. It is not advisable to say that + you have come to look at this Scroll. If the + abbot is really sly, he will find two dozen + ways of putting you off. You will probably + have to steal the Scroll. + In cases where the Monks are willing to let + you consult their Scroll, you will find that + the keeper of Scrolls has recently lost his + reason and the Scroll with it. + You will have to search through the + disordered (smelling mustily of old books (OMT) and + filled with the plangent scent of ancient + minds (OMT)) library by night. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + For sanctuary and rest. + In this case, you will come pounding up to + the Monastery at dusk, with the forces of + Dark hard on your heels. + You will have to hammer at the huge (oaken (OMT)) door a lot, but they will let + you in. + Once inside, you are safe. + This kind of Monastery has religious WARDS + that really work. + But the problem comes when you have to get + out again (see SECRET PASSAGES and + UNDERGROUND PASSAGES). +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + For sacking. + Here you come pounding up to the building + with the forces of Dark half a day behind, + only to find it a heap of smoking + stones. + But there will be one survivor (see NUNNERY + for the rest of the Rule). +
    +
    4. +
+
+

+ MONEY. + There is always a question as to how a Tourist + acquires Money. The Management does not permit + one to bring gold or travellers’ cheques on a + Tour. Usually a Tourist arrives with just enough + to buy equipment, but if not, the Rule is that + you must hire yourself on as a CARAVAN GUARD or + some other kind of menial (see KITCHEN). Later + in the Tour you may have to hire out likewise as + a sparring partner at a SCHOOL OF WEAPONRY. Any + other funds must be supplied by discovering + TREASURE or by theft; note that, whenever you + need them, there will be a plentiful supply of + EVIL (or at least degenerate) people and/or fat + MERCHANTS from whom you can steal with a blithe + conscience. +

+
+
+

+ MONKS + inhabit MONASTERIES and are mostly extras + hired + by the Management. Those with NAMES are likely + to be either MENTORS or, very rarely, Tour + COMPANIONS. Treat all Monks courteously, + however. Many of them have KNOWLEDGE you will be + glad to hear. +

+

+ MONSTERS + are likely to live in WASTE AREAS, CAVES, and + OLD RUINED CITIES. You can usually detect their + presence by SMELL (see also DANGER and + REEK OF WRONGNESS + (OMT)). Most of them have something snaky about + them. All have prodigious jaws and teeth and + tend to drool. They are normally rather large + and prone to attacking Tourists around or after + twilight. The most dangerous kind are those who + have MAGIC or the ability to live half the time + in some spirit world. This makes them difficult + to kill. The usual practise is to disable the + Monster if possible and then run. +

+
+
+

+ See also LEATHERY-WINGED AVIANS and SCALY + FOLK. +

+
+
+

+ MOON(S). + There is usually only one moon visible, as in + our own world. This has given rise to the theory + that Fantasyland is an Earth-Alternate, but that + may be a false idea since there have been rare + sightings of other moons in the sky, often two + or three at once and in some cases pink or red + or blue. One hesitates to query these sightings. + Sometimes a cluster of moons hangs forever in + the same position in the sky, revealing that + Astronomy is not the Management’s strong + point. +

+
+
+

+ MOUNTAIN PASS, BLOCKED. + The Rule is that any time you need to get from + one side of the MOUNTAINS to the other, the pass + across is blocked. The pass will be a narrow + rift high in the Mountains, and by the time you + have climbed up there, either with the forces of + the DARK LORD hard behind you, or knowing you + have only so long to get to the other side + before the forces of Darkness get there first, + you will find the pass … impassable. Usually the + Management applies this Rule by prudently + sending you off in winter, so that the pass is + snowbound; on occasion, though, the blockage can + be a landslide or a fall of rocks. In some + cases, you can go down and round the long way, + but mostly you just have to bash on through. + Somehow. +

+
+
+

+ See also HARDSHIP and HYPOTHERMIA. +

+
+
+

+ MOUNTAINS + are always high and mostly snow-capped. There + seems to have been no ice age in Fantasyland, so + the Mountains rise tens of thousands of feet + into pointed, j agged peaks (OMT), which have + evidently never suffered erosion. They are full + of rocky defiles (OMT) and paths so steep you + have to dismount and lead the HORSES. Almost + certainly there will be at some stage a ledge + along a cliff that is only a few feet wide with + an immense drop the other side. This will be + covered with ice. Snow will be sweeping across + it. The Rule is that you are always in a hurry + at this stage. +

+

+ MOUNTAIN TRIBES. + See + DWARFS, EYRIE CLANS, GNOMES, GOBLINS, and + STRANGE RACES. +

+

+ MULES + are the sterile and sexless offspring of a + HORSE and a DONKEY and are sometimes used as + pack animals on the Tour. The Management, + however, is confused as to the nature of Mules + and will often refer to them blithely as + mares. + This is probably because Horses in Fantasyland + breed by pollination. (See HORSES for a fuller + exposition of this important theory.) + MUSIC + is very important, always GOOD and probably + MAGIC, especially if played on a HARP. It seems + that DARK LORDS are tone-deaf. They have never + been known to employ Music as a WEAPON, or to + strike fear and desolation into anyone by means + of a bespelled tune. The utmost they ever rise + to is chanting in TEMPLES. This is lucky + because, on the side of Good, Music has enormous + power. It can amplify SPELLS, summon + supernatural help, and inspire superhuman + courage. On some Tours it is the only vehicle + for GOOD Magic. +

+
+
+

+ See also ELVES, + PANCELTS, and SONG. +

+
+
+

+ MUTANT NASTIES. + These, as opposed to MONSTERS, are monstrous + beings created by some form of evil Wizardry. + They can be magically enlarged and blended + ANIMALS, or humans reduced to bestial form. It + is standard practice for a WIZARD who is setting + out to rule the world to surround himself with + monstrous mutant helpers as a first step. Other + Mutants are left over from the demise of earlier + Wizards. +

+
+
+

+ See also BREEDING PROGRAMMES and + LEATHERY-WINGED AVIANS. +

+
+
+

+ MYSTICAL MASTERS. + Your Tour MENTOR is likely to be one of these, + on special assignment. Mystical Masters, male, + female, and (possibly) neuter or something else, + all wear long white ROBES and operate on the + side of GOOD. One or more of these will appear + to all Tours from time to time in order to give + instructions. These instructions will be so + obscure that they will be impossible to follow + until too late, but afterwards you will feel + good that you knew all along. +

+

 

+
+

+
+

N

+

+ Narope, daughter of the Moon Queen of Semirond, + bathed daily in the milk of fifty camels. She + then applied two magnums of rosewater to + counteract the smell. Her mother soon tired of + the expense all this entailed and sold her to a + nomad when she was fifteen. No one minded, + Narope least of all. Despite the milk of camels, + she might never otherwise have found a + husband. +

+

+ - Hag’git’ta onch’a Beggiz , Anecdotes, CLI + iii* +

+

+ * The Management gives no reason or apology for + deserting Ka’a Orto’o here. +

+
+
+

+ NAMES + are very potent in Fantasyland. People with no + Names always get killed (unless they are + powerfully EVIL and have a Name That Must Not Be + Spoken, in which case they get killed anyway, + but a lot later). Of those who have Names, + almost nobody tells anyone else what their Name + really is, for fear of its being used in a SPELL + to enslave them. MAGIC USERS have to be + particularly careful of this. But MERCENARIES + also tend to call themselves things like Bald + Eagle and Silversword, presumably for the same + reason (or maybe because their true Names are + Joe Coward and Jill Doe). MISSING HEIRS are + always called Names like Triggs and Dumpling: + when they find their Names are really Prince + Tornalorn or Princess Diore, they stop being + Missing. This shows how important Names can be. + AVERAGE FOLK, SAGES, and some Tourists, however, + adopt the expedient of cutting out half their + Names and filling the gaps with APOSTROPHES, as + in Ka’a Orto’o. Then, unless you know what was + in the gap, you can’t enslave them. This is the + true reason why so many Names in Fantasyland + contain Apostrophes. +

+
+
+

+ Many folk – ELVES and DEMONS particularly – are + given hugely long Names so that they can be + conveniently shortened in this way. Demons, + indeed, would have a bad time otherwise. As soon + as a Magic User learns a Demon’s Name, that + Demon has to do anything the Magic User + wants. +

+

+ On some Tours the same prudent coyness applies + to MAGIC OBJECTS. The exceptions are SWORDS, who + seem very proud of being known to be really + Excalibur or Widowmaker. +

+
+
+

+ NECROMANCY + is, in Fantasyland, the art of raising the + dead, and you need a specialized MAGIC USER to + do it. You must expect to need to consult + someone who is dead about two-thirds of the way + through your Tour. You must hire or call in a + favour from a Necromancer, who will do things + with little pots of smoke over the grave and + then summon the dead person in words that + vibrate the earth and the air. After this, a + misty version of the corpse (or sometimes one + not misty enough for comfort) will arise, + bringing with it a cold blast of air and a + strong graveyard SMELL. This simulacrum will be + able to speak and will have all the memories of + the dead person. You must ask it what you want + to know. But take care to ask the right + questions. Usually such a rite cannot be + repeated, and the dead are often as + literal-minded as computers. +

+
+
+

See also BLACK ARTS.

+
+
+

+ NOMADS. + See DESERT NOMADS and NOMAD TENTS. +

+

+ NOMAD TENTS + have peculiar acoustics, possibly because they + are usually constructed of skins over a + framework of wood. Perhaps this makes them more + like houses. Be that as it may, you will find + that you can hold a secret and private + conversation in one of these tents without any + danger whatsoever of anyone overhearing you. The + TENTS of MERCENARY captains and KINGS often + display the same properties. Like so many of the + marvels of Fantasyland, the secret of these + soundproof tents has not yet been imparted to + this world. +

+

+ NORTHERN BARBARIANS + DWELL in the snowy part behind the northern + MOUNTAIN range. They are very barbarous and tend + to kilt strangers on sight. This is because the + males spend their time in longhouses honing + their fighting kills. It is not certain what + their females do. Northern Barbarians do not + feel the cold. They wear only a fur loincloth + and copper wristguards. Their real clothing is + their WEAPONS. But they are not stupid savages, + only savages. They use skis and sledges for + getting about in the snow and this, given the + state of TRANSPORT generally, must be the + equivalent of having invented the wheel. When + Tourists visit here, they are advised to defeat + all Barbarians who attack them. Then the + Barbarians will respect them: it is the only + Language they understand. The Tourists must then + go on to prove the SHAMAN a fraud. After this, a + Chieftain will offer the Tour anything it + needs. +

+
+
+

+ See also BARBARIAN HORDES. +

+
+
+

+ NOVICE + is a term in frequent use. There are not only + Novice PRIESTS and Priestesses and Nuns: you + will also encounter Novice HEALERS and Novice + BARDS, and sometimes also Novice MAGES. This + reflects the religious awe in which all these + callings are held in Fantasyland. Novices are + always young, frequently skinny and + undernourished, and clad in ROBES (skimpy (OMT)) appropriate to the calling they + are learning. + Most of them behave as if they have either + taken vows of chastity and silence or are very + stupid. + They do little but agree with the + Priest/Bard/Mage to whom they are assigned, and + they are utterly loyal to this person. + If a Novice behaves in any other way, suspect + her/him either of having been got at by the + forces of EVIL or of being in fact an APPRENTICE + who might at any moment do something foolish + with a SPELL. + Alternatively, she/he might be a MISSING + HEIR. +

+

+ NUNNERIES. + The Rule is that any Nunnery you approach, + particularly if you are in dire need of rest, + Healing, or provisions, will prove to have been + recently sacked. + You will find the place a smoking ruin littered + with corpses. + You will be shocked and wonder who could have + done this thing. + Your natural curiosity will shortly be + satisfied, because there is a further Rule that + there will be one survivor, either a very young + NOVICE or a very old nun, who will give you a + graphic account of the raping and burning and + the names of the perpetrators. + If old, she will then die, thus saving you from + having to take her along and feed her from your + dwindling provisions; if a Novice, she will + either die likewise or prove to be not as + nunnish as you at first thought, in which case + you may be glad to have her along. +

+
+

 

+

+
+

O

+

+ Onions much attracted the Sage Algeron, who + used to declare that onions were like the eyes + of demons. + Some say it was a demon who took off his left + big toe. +

+

+ - + Ka’a Orto’o, Gnomic Utterances, CCCIX xv +

+
+
+

+ OFFICIAL MANAGEMENT TERM + (OMT) appears in this Guide where necessary and + in italics. + OMTs are forms of words which the Management + has dreamed up for use every time a certain + thing, fact, sensation, or person is + mentioned. + Thus STEW is thick (OMT) and savoury (OMT); + HISTORY is lost (OMT); at the point where the + party of Tourists is about to be attacked the + very air seemed doom-laden (OMT); and a constant + COMPANION on the Tour will be the rat-faced + little man (OMT) . + OMTs perform the same function as music in + films. +

+

+ OFFSHORE ISLANDS + exist in some quantity, some hav i ng human + inhabitants, and one at least being the abode of + DRAGONS. + Unfortunately, the only ways to reach these + islands are somewhat hazardous for + Tourists: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + If male, you must be captured by PIRATES + and sold as a GALLEY SLAVE. + You may then row to the vicinity of an + island, saw through your chains, kill your + owners, and swim there. (Note that this is + impracticable for female Tourists, as female + SLAVES are reserved for Another Fate.) +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + If female, you must befriend a Dragon and + get flown to the Isle of Dragons. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ Yes, it is clear that only males get to visit + the human islands and only females find their + way to the Dragons. + This is the tough, sexist way the Management + wrote the Rules. +

+
+
+

+ OLD RUINED CITY + can be in a WOOD, in the DESERT in a dry + ravine, or hidden in the MOUNTAINS. It can be an + ANCIENT ENGINEERING PROJECT or just RUINS. You + will do quite a lot of Travelling looking for it + if you want it as a QUEST OBJECT. Otherwise your + Tour will stumble upon it by accident. Either + way, it is beset with Dangers (OMT) . + It will be full of residual MAGIC of an antique + and unpleasant kind. The former inhabitants will + have set up traps and magical burglar alarms + which are still in place after many centuries. + These will be nastiest and most active near the + TOMB or TEMPLE. Some of the party will have to + deactivate these while fighting off hostile + tribes, and the rest must go after the SECRET + behind the ALTAR. +

+

+ OLD TONGUE. + See LANGUAGES. +

+

+ OMENS. + See PROPHECY. +

+

+ ORBS + are strange things with a double purpose. On + one hand they are part of a KlNG’s regalia; on + the other they are numinous (OMT) objects with + minds of their own. In appearance, they are a + large ball, the size to fit the hand of an adult + male, and they are often made of some very + obscure CRYSTAL. This lights up, gives orders, + attacks enemies, and communicates with other + Kings and the DARK LORD. If they are your QUEST + OBJECT they will play hard to get, but end up, + almost with a sigh, beaming with coloured light + in the hand of the true heir. You feel the Orb + has been having fun hiding. So wilful are Orbs + that it seems likely that they are in reality + the positronic brains of dismembered robots, + imported from the SF Tour. +

+

+ ORCS + are a newer and better mutation of GOBLINS, + even nastier, and always in the service of the + DARK LORD. +

+

+ OTHER CONTINENT. + This is the second major landmass. It is + sometimes brought into play on the Tour, but + only if the MAP shows it as fairly close to the + continent where the Tour began. Things there are + generally much the same as on the first + continent but described as exotic (OMT), as are + its inhabitants, the OTHER CONTINENTALISTS. + Probably the main difference will be the FOOD + (highly spiced (OMT)) . + You may expect at least one CONFRONTATION + there, normally with a female in rather scanty + CLOTHING. +

+

+ OTHER CONTINENTALISTS + live (dwell (OMT)) on the OTHER CONTINENT. They are + seldom dissimilar from PEOPLES on the first + continent except that, for some reason, they are + always members of CLANS. This is so even when + the inhabitants evidently belong to the FANATIC + CALIPHATES, which they often do, and wear + turbans and eat spiced food. This means there is + always likely to be a blood-feud and CIan WAR, + during which the Tourist must keep her/his head + down and try to arrange a passage back to the + first landmass, which is normally not difficult. + Otherwise, Other Continentalists are mild, + reasonable people, although some Tours find they + have more than their fair share of seductive + older women. In rare cases, the People here are + savage xenophobes (see XENOPHOBIA), in which + case the Management will get you out of there, + quick. +

+

+ OTHER PEOPLES. + See PEOPLES and STRANGE RACES. +

+

+ OUTER OCEAN. + This is on the MAP, but it is out of bounds for + the Tour. You can see that it is from the little + drawings all over it. The Management does not + know what, if anything, lies beyond this Ocean, + and the Cartographer felt free to doodle in the + space. +

+
+

 

+

+
+

P

+

+ Politics + is when you sell your daughter to bandits and + your daughter and yourself are then both set + free. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, Gnomic Utterances, XXXI ii +

+
+
+

+ PALACES + are where all rulers and some DUKES live. The + Rule is that all Palaces are large and ornate + inside, and reached by a triumphal avenue and a + long flight of steps. Otherwise they can be of + any architectural style. The Management will + stop you as you reach the Palace and force you + to look at the rows of + windows/columns/statues/gilded + carvings/domes/fretted towers/lacy spires, and + the effect of the gigantic doorways guarded by + soldiers. You will have to observe the several + wings, courtyards, and gardens. A further Rule + seems to be that all this magnificence is of + stone, unless it belongs to an ENCHANTRESS or a + northerly WIZARD, in which case it will be built + of ice. The more normal stone kind has plainly + taken many masons and sculptors many moons to + make. Sometimes the Management gives you potted + HISTORY here, and shows how some parts are old + and some newer. Inside, a Palace follows the + Rule for BUILDINGS and is even larger, with many + long corridors, ballrooms, CHAMBERS, and + galleries. Some Palaces are an actual maze in + which Tourists may get lost. The THRONE room is + usually, but not invariably, the largest and + most imposing room of all. There will be + paintings, pillars, lackeys, and SLAVES, not to + speak of COURTIERS. In more northerly Palaces, + banners are hung from high ceilings. There will + be at least one INCIDENT in every Palace, + usually more. Tourists seldom leave Palaces + peacefully by the front entrance. +

+
+
+

See also HEATING.

+
+
+

+ PANCELTIC TOURS + are normally taken separately from the rest of + Fantasyland. Here the MAP will be of only one + COUNTRY, which has a Welsh name, and shows TOWNS + called things like Dun Bhlaioinaidbth + (pronounced Dublin) or Glas Uedhaoth (pronounced + Glasgow) and rather more MOUNTAINS. The Tour + will, however, take place in the usual way, + except that PORRIDGE will largely replace STEW + and there will be rather more MAGIC. But the + WEATHER will be a great deal worse. When it is + not raining, everywhere will be hidden (shrouded (OMT)) in MIST. If you go on one of + these Tours, you will not always find it easy to + know either what is going on or what people are + talking about. The Mist seems to get into + everyone’s brains. +

+

+ PANCELTS + are frequently red-haired. They wear plaids and + have NAMES you must consult the glossary in + order to pronounce. By the Rules (pronounced + GEAS) which govern them, they have to call ELVES + Shee (pronounced Sidhe) and refer to the ENEMY + as Shadow. Otherwise they are nice people who + drink a lot of the water of life (pronounced + Uisce) and love to tell you LEGENDS by + firelight. They also fight a lot and rather + well, since both men and women train hard from + the age of ten. But there is no such thing as an + ordinary PANCELT. Each of them is either a MAGIC + USER or a BARD or a Druid (pronounced like a + sneeze), or sometimes all three (in which case + you pronounce it Merlin). They are governed by + strong and beautiful QUEENS called things like + Maebdh Aeiolaien (pronounced Mad Eileen) or + strong and serious KINGS called, for instance, + Daibhaeaidhaibh MacAeraith (pronounced Dave + Mate), and they appear to worship the Welsh Bard + Taliesin. It is in this Bard’s honour that they + all sing so much, even more than the Shee/Elves + do. And, like the Elves, they are prone to go on + about how very much better things were in the + Old Days, when a HERO could walk in one day from + Caer Dibdh to the sea by taking a shortcut + through Tir n’an Og (pronounced The + Many-Coloured Land). +

+

+ PATRONS OF INNS + are mostly AVERAGE FOLK with a sprinkling of + STRANGE RACES, and are put in the INN to make + the barmaids too busy to serve you and to + provide loud conversation shortly followed by a + TAVERN BRAWL. In some cases they also show + suspicion and growl (OMT) when you talk to them. + All of this is known by the Management as + “atmosphere.” But you should listen to what they + say over their tankards of BEER. They will + always have the latest rumour, and this will + give you a hint about what the DARK LORD is up + to now. +

+

+ PEASANTS. + See AVERAGE FOLK. +

+

+ PENTACLE. + See PENTAGRAM. +

+

+ PENTAGRAM OR PENTACLE. + Five-pointed figures essential in many forms of + ritual MAGIC. It can be drawn both on solid + surfaces and in the air. In the latter case, it + will hang there, glowing (OMT) . +

+
+
+

+ WHAT TO PACK FOR YOUR TOUR +

+

Ideally you will want

+
+
    +
  • +
    + Fleece-lined winter clothing plus tropical + garb +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + Waterproof jacket and leggings +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + Fleece-lined sleeping bag +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + Walking boots, riding boots, rubber boots, + sandals, trainers +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + Saucepans, frying pan, jug, plates, cups, + water bottle, knife, fork, spot +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + A kettle and a teapot +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + A cauldron for Stew +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + Tea, coffee, sugar, salt, flour, chocolate + in waterproof containers +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + A large supply of paper handkerchiefs +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + A thermos flask +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + An electric torch +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + A small gas stove +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + A battery-powered heater +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + One gross (144) batteries +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + One mile of nylon rope +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + Pitons and other climbing gear +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + At least one gun +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + Twelve crates of ammunition +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + A tent +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + A hammer +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + A spade +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + A sturdy waterproof pack for all this, + provided you can lift it +
    +
    • +
  • +
    + And of course a Sword +
    +
    • +
+
+

+ In actual fact, the Management will allow you + none of the above. + You don’t even get to take this Tough + Guide. + You will go in what you stand up in, with a + blanket and a cloak for warmth and only one pair + of Boots. + You will be allowed to find or purchase your + Sword, but forget the rest. + As for the paper handkerchiefs, you don’t even + get a cloth one. If your nose runs, just sniffle + or wipe it on your cloak. +

+
+
+

+ PEOPLES + are of two kinds, human and other: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Humans are ANGLO-SAXON COSSACKS, + ARISTOCRATIC FEUDALISTS, AVERAGE FOLK, + BARBARIAN HORDES, BARBARY VIKINGS, DESERT + NOMADS, EYRIE CLANS, the folk of the FANATIC + CALIPHATES, ISLANDERS, MERCHANT FEUDALISTS, + NORTHERN BARBARIANS, OTHER CONTINENTALISTS, + RELIGIOUS FEUDALISTS, TRAVELLING FOLK, + denizens of the VESTIGIAL EMPIRE, WAR AND + WORSHIP PEOPLE, WARRIOR WOMEN, and + WOODSMEN. + We should perhaps also include the + PANCELTS, although they generally have their own + Tour. + WIZARDS and other MAGIC USERS are mostly + thought to be human too, but that was long + ago and seems to have worn off. + BANDITS, MERCENARIES, PIRATES, and SLAVES + are said to be drawn impartially from among + the Peoples, but all four types exhibit + occasional exotic individuals not easily + accounted for. + Oh, and Tourists are mostly human + too. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Other are APELIKE CANNIBALS, ELVES, DWARFS, + GIANTS, GNOMES, GOBLINS, LITTLE PEOPLE, + MARSH DWELLERS, ORCS, SCALY FOLK, SEA + PEOPLES, TROLLS, WERES, and those simply + designated STRANGE RACES. + Not all of these are friendly to + Tourists. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ PERSON. + As a QUEST OBJECT, a Person is very hard to + find. + She/he will not be located until two-thirds of + the way through the Tour. + When found, she/he will be all you expected, + but unsatisfactory in some way. + If a parent or a WIZARD, she/he will not be + able to give the comfort, instruction, or SECRET + you needed, and you will spend the rest of the + Tour looking for these instead. + In rare cases, the Management has you on by + having the Person there all along, as a Tour + COMPANION. + Then the rest of the Tour will be spent helping + this Person with the business she/he was on the + Tour to perform. + See BIRTHRIGHT. +

+

+ PIRATES + range the seas in force, though most of them + operate individually. When not BARBARY VIKINGS, + Pirates are drawn from all populations. The sole + qualifications are that they must be rough and + ruthless, with a penchant for dressing gaudily. + This usually includes pierced ears. The Rule is + that Pirates always have the fastest SHIPS, + except for Barbary Vikings; so, if the Tour + takes you to sea and the lookout reports a + Pirate in the offing, expect to be overhauled, + grappled, and boarded. Nervous Tourists will be + pleased to know that this is a mere INCIDENT, + however. Pirates are always beaten off after a + bloody swordfight, unless you have not yet been + enslaved. Then you will be captured and sold. + See GALLEY SLAVE and SLAVE. +

+
+
+

+ PLACE. + If a place is a QUEST OBJECT it is invariably a + long way away, Hidden, or obscure. In some cases + it can be a small crag designated as a meeting + place with persons in urgent need of help. + Usually it is a CITY, HIDDEN KINGDOM, ISLAND in + a lake, OLD RUINED CITY, STONE CIRCLE, or SECRET + VALLEY. In all cases, you will reach it to find + the Tour by no means stops here. There will be + an interval while you acquire Arcane KNOWLEDGE + or SELF-KNOWLEDGE, and then off you will go + again to do something about what you + learnt. +

+

+ PLAGUE + visits (OMT) certain areas unpredictably and + kills a lot of people. Though this is not + surprising, given the amount of REFUSE lying + about, the relative absence of bacteria/viruses + suggests that the cause may be magical. Indeed, + on investigation, this usually proves to be so. + The DARK LORD or a MINION has tried to stamp out + a TOWN or CITY. Tourists need not be alarmed. + The Dark Lord will not proceed against any Tours + with such underhand tricks. No Tourist catches + Plague. The normal pattern is for the Plague to + have visited ten or so years before your Tour, + when it will have killed the parents of at least + one of your COMPANIONS. Very rarely, you will + enter a City in the grip (OMT) of Plague and be + forced to pick your way among hideously blotched + (disfigured (OMT)) corpses lying in the streets. + But it will not be catching. +

+

+ POISON + is in use a lot, primarily by EUNUCHS, MERCHANT + FEUDALISTS, and denizens of the VESTIGIAL + EMPIRE. Tourists should watch everything they + eat or drink around all these kinds of people. + They are experts and have Poisons not known in + our world. Most Poisons work swiftly, turning + the victim a variety of strange colours as they + do their stuff; but the most dangerous are the + slow Poisons to which only the poisoner has the + antidote. You can be enslaved by one of these, + because the poisoner will always offer the + antidote once a day provided you do what she/he + wants. Usually this type of Poison is + administered in a drink, but if they hold you + down and inject you there is nothing you can do. + The Management, fortunately, seldom allows this + to happen, possibly because hypodermics are so + hard to obtain. +

+

+ POLITICS + occur only in the VESTIGIAL EMPIRE and on some + PANCELTIC + TOURS. The Rule is that they are always very + complicated and involve issues most Tourists + have never heard of. A typical piece of Politics + would be: +

+
+
+

+ House/CLAN Frumpus, who worship Ad and trade in + leather, have intermarried with House/Clan + Trumpus, who worship Bagel and wish for leather + concessions in their sheep business, and are + allied with House/Clan Dorpus, whose head is a + weak person and who trade in perfume and skins + and worship Vinus, against Houses/Clans Drumpus, + Corpus, and Bremo, who trade in skins, wine, and + pottery and worship Bagel, Ord, and Vinus. + Because of Bagel-and Vinus-worship (see + RELIGION), Houses/Clans Drumpus, Dorpus, and + Trumpus also have a secret understanding against + the others. + Only one senator can be elected here. + While the Houses/Clans manoeuvre, there is also + great jockeying for headship inside the + Houses/Clans, and people mer rily POISON one + another…. +

+

+ Anyway, it eventually cancels down to the Head + of House/Clan Frumpus, because he is on two + sides at once, having to sell himself sheepskins + and then Poison himself, leaving the four + deities glaring at one another. +

+
+
+

+ POOLS. + Any Pool is likely to be numinous (OMT) or + Enchanted. Some give you strange VISIONS when + viewed by moonlight, some just give you strange + Visions. A few have additional virtues, such as + Healing or granting longevity. Some can lead you + astray. +

+
+
+

+ The Rule is that, of all prophetic objects (see + PROPHECY), only Pools are allowed to give false + information –and even they will base their + misinformation on true facts. + If a Pool is a QUEST OBJECT, it follows the + Rule that you have not completed your QUEST by + finding it. + Often there is something under its surface, + such as the transformed body of a Royal heir or + a MONSTER, or both, which will give you + KNOWLEDGE that requires further action. +

+
+
+

+ PORRIDGE. + See PANCELTIC + TOURS. +

+

+ PORTALS + can be MIRRORS, Pictures, Standing STONES, + STONE CIRCLES, Windows and special gates set up + for the purposes. You will travel through them + both to distant parts of the continent and to + and from our own world. The precise manner of + their working is a Management secret. +

+

+ POWER + means either ruling a lot of people or very + strong MAGIC. In Fantasyland, the two tend to be + synonymous. +

+

+ PRACTICE RING OR COMBAT RING + is a sanded circle used for sparring and + WEAPONS practise; usually it has a paling around + it. + It can be found attached to any SCHOOL OF + WEAPONRY, outside MERCENARIES’ winter quarters, + and quite often on the outskirts of aggressive + TOWNS and VILLAGES. + It is always well kept. + Fighting is important. + Expect at some stage of the Tour to have a + practise bout during which your opponent is out + to kill or maim you. +

+

+ PRIESTS + will be attached to a small local TEMPLE. + Some are austere and unpleasant, but most are + quite decent people. + HIGH PRIESTS are another question + altogether. +

+

+ PRINCES + are of three kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Acknowledged heirs to thrones. + These Princes are bad lots, fat, greedy, + wilful, and cruel at best, usually noted for + their pasty (OMT) or puffy (OMT) faces and + their rude, discontented manners. + In some way, these will have managed to + disguise their natures in front of their + Royal fathers the KlNGS, who will think the + world of them. + At their worst, Princes will either be + under the thumb of the REGENT, who will have + sold his soul/services to the DARK LORD, or + the Prince himself will be a MINION OF THE + DARK LORD. + In this case, there is no nasty sort of + cruelty and slyness these Royal heirs will + not stoop to. + They recognise those of better natures at + once and attack them with everything they + have. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Unacknowledged heirs. + These are: +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + Princes who have been thrown out by + their Royal father. + These will have been framed by a + Chancellor or younger Prince (who + will be fat, see above) and + disinherited for crimes they did not + commit. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + Lost heirs (see MISSING HEIRS), who + have been stolen or removed for + safety at their births. These will + not have a notion of who they really + are, but will find out in the course + of the Tour. +
      +
      3. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ Both + A ) and B) are invariably basically GOOD, but hasty, + naive, and with a lot to learn, which the Tour + will mostly teach them. + Both will be seeking their BIRTHRIGHTS. +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Ruling Princes. These rule slightly lesser + COUNTRIES and are normally average to good + in their natures. Sometimes they are even + better than good Kings, from having a + Princely nature. +
    +
    2. +
+
+

+ PRINCESSES + come in two main kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Wimps. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Spirited and wilful. + A spirited Princess will be detectable by + the scattering of freckles across the bridge + of her somewhat tiptilted nose (OMT). + Spirited Princesses often disguise + themselves as boys and invariably marry + commoners of sterling worth. + With surprising frequency these commoners + turn out to be long-lost heirs to Kingdoms + (See PRINCES). +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ PRISON + is really a lot of DUNGEONS in one place, plus + a fairly grisly TORTURE Chamber. + The prison will be reached by a stone stair, + dampish, lit by torches in brackets on the + walls, and guarded by sadistic soldiery. + Most of these GUARDS are rather careless: they + think no one can escape. All Tours tend to prove + this assumption wrong. +

+
+
+

See also KING’S MEN.

+
+
+

+ PROPHECY + is used by the Management to make sure that no + Tourist is unduly surprised by events, and by + GODDESSES AND GODS to make sure that people do + as the deity wants. All Prophecies come true. + This is a Rule (but see POOLS). The methods used + are various: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + A SEER or MYSTICAL MASTER suddenly gives + tongue. This is always unwelcome and usually + obscure. The most obscure pronouncements + strongly resemble GNOMIC UTTERANCES. A + typical example might be: I see the white + eagle flying into the Sun with the red lion + in his beak. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Crystal Gazing. This method is without + sound and can therefore be misconstrued. See + CRYSTAL BALL. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + DREAMS and VISIONS. These usually give + vivid scenes without explanations. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + Looking into MIRRORS or POOLS/bowls of + magically enhanced water or ink. These give + limited sights of the future, again without + sound but usually in full colour. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + Casting RUNES or other counters. Here the + result must be read by an expert, but it is + always very detailed and explicit. +
    +
    6. +
  6. +
    + Cards, called Tarot by the Management. Here + a Fortune Teller will lay out the cards for + a reading and explain as it proceeds. A + typical layout might go: Ace of Winds, + that’s for Talent, and the Wandering + Minstrel suggests the Talent is wild; the + Queen of Dreams and Knave of Voids are a + threat to you; but the King of Castles can + withstand it; and here are the Ace and Ten + of Jewels in support. + Some packs have up to ten suits, plus wild + cards and trumps. Many of them appear to + contain only aces and court cards. +
    +
    7. +
  7. +
    + Omens. These can vary from a sudden blast + of wind at a foolish act to a Tour COMPANION + becoming suffused with kingly golden + light. +
    +
    8. +
  8. +
    + ASTROLOGY, which is used mostly for + large-scale Prophecy to do with SAVING THE + WORLD. +
    +
    9. +
+

 

+

+
+

Q

+

+ Query all results when crystal-gazing. You + never know who may have been looking over your + shoulder. +

+

+ - + Ka’a Orto’o , Gnomic Utterances, IX ix +

+
+
+

+ QUEENS + ruling in their own right are rare, but they do + occur. When they do they are: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Totally useless because dominated by a male + lover or COUNCILLORS, or both. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + GOOD, but incapacitated by MAGIC or + scruples or both. In the most extreme cases, + this Queen will sit on her throne + perpetually in a state of blanched + preservation. Tourists requiring favours of + her will need only one look to know that + here is something else they have to put + right before they can get on with the real + business of the Tour. When rescued, such + Queens can put things in order with + commendable briskness. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Good. This Queen will be a MAGIC USER and + terribly conscientious. In her case the Tour + will reveal something highly amiss with + either her COUNTRY or the whole continent. + The Queen will often have to join the Tour + to put this right (see SAVING THE WORLD). + You will have to spend the Tour worrying + about the Queen’s safety. +
    +
    4. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + Old-fashioned bad. + This kind of Queen is totally in + control. + She has everybody terrified of her, + possibly through Magic. + And, again possibly through Magic, she will + be beautiful (see COLOUR CODING, but there + is an exception to the usual Rule here: such + Queens can be red-haired to show how wilful + and bad-tempered they are). + Her Country will be the most abject and + oppressed of any on the Tour. + Since she is very cruel, this will not + bother her at all. + She will just order in a few more peasant + youths to ravish and then dismember. + Naturally, she is very sexy. + She will demand SEX with most Tourists and + one of you will slight her. + She will have you put to the TORTURE and + then, after you escape, pursue you for the + rest of the Tour. + The only thing to do is to kill her, but + you will not like to strike a woman. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + A bad mother. + This Queen is really ruling for her young + son (see CHILDREN), but she will be so + anxious to go on ruling that she will be + bringing the lad up to be wholly dependent + on her. + This Queen is a dangerous sentimental + bitch, because she will claim that + everything she does is for the sake of her + Child. + She will try to POISON anyone who gets in + her way. + Only a powerful AMULET will help you + here. + Naturally no Tourist will want to have + anything to do with this Queen, but it will + usually be necessary to release the young + KING from her clutches before you can + proceed on the Tour. + The local God may well insist on it. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ QUEST. + Many, possibly most, Tours are organized as a + Quest. + This is like a large-scale treasure hunt, with + clues scattered all over the continent, a few + false leads, MYSTICAL MASTERS as game-show + hosts, and the DARK LORD and the TERRAIN to make + the Quest interestingly difficult. + The Management selects a QUEST OBJECT (of which + Tourists are normally informed either at their + STARTING POINT or no later than six INCIDENTS + after), then adds the various INCIDENTS, + CONFRONTATIONS and FIGHTS, plus a stew of all + the other items you find listed here in + Toughpick. + Places where clues to the Quest Object can be + found are listed in the appropriate entries, but + Tourists should stay alert both to statements + made by, say, dying GOBLINS and to the behaviour + of the DARK LORD: much can be learnt from what + he does not want you to do. + You should then have a thoroughly eventful Tour + without ever feeling truly at a loss. + The Rule is that Tours will always succeed in a + Quest, so the Management will give you hints if + you go off in the wrong direction (see + PROPHECY). + In order to be assured of your future custom, + the Management has a further Rule: Tourists, far + from being rewarded for achieving their Quest + Object, must then go on to conquer the Dark Lord + or set about SAVING THE WORLD, or both. + And why not? + By then you will have had a lot of practise in + that sort of thing and, besides, the Quest + Object is usually designed to help you do + it. +

+

+ QUEST, ETERNAL. + See ETERNAL QUEST. +

+

+ QUEST OBJECTS + can be various, but are quite strictly defined + by the Rules. + They are: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Material Objects. + CUPS, JEWELS, ORBS, RINGS, SCEPTRES, + STONES, and SWORDS. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Places. + HIDDEN KINGDOMS, ISLANDS, OLD RUINED + CITIES, POOLS of enchantment, STONES, + TEMPLES, VALLEYS, and, less frequently, + Fountains (which may double up as Fountains + of Youth). +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + PERSONS. + See APPRENTICES, HARDSHIP, and + PRINCES. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + KNOWLEDGE. + Usually for BIRTHRIGHT or MAGIC or + both. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + Most rarely of all, SELF-KNOWLEDGE. +
    +
    6. +
+
+

+ QUICKSAND. + This is a hazard that can occur anywhere. + Blundering into Quicksand counts as a small + INCIDENT; usually there is no BOG handy. + Basically, the sandy ground underfoot turns out + to be bottomless and everyone starts to + sink. + Most people make it back to firm ground, but at + least one HORSE + (eyes rolling in frenzy (OMT)) and one unlucky + Tourist will sink and have to be rescued either + by the strength of the LARGE MAN or by everyone + hauling on ropes. +

+

 

+
+

+
+

R

+
+
+

+ Run far and fast when a wizard frowns. If he + smiles, run harder. Above all, refrain from + laughing when he laughs. But if he weeps, you + may join in courteously. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, Gnomic Utterances, IX x +

+
+
+

+ RABBITS. + Plump furry mammals who live in burrows + underground. + They have been thoughtfully introduced by the + Management as a FOOD source on the Tour. + They are quite rare, to judge by the number of + times the Management pretends you have caught a + Rabbit when you have really caught a HARE, and + so may have been introduced only very + recently. + Rabbits, when they have no natural predators + (of which there are none except humans in + Fantasyland), always spread uncontrollably and + become a pest. + This they have evidently not yet had time to + do. +

+

+ REEK OF WRONGNESS + is the OMT for the sensation you get when you + encounter a POOL of EVIL, or when you have been + set up for an AMBUSH or BETRAYAL. + It is possible that local conditions do give + such things a noticeable SMELL. +

+
+
+

See also DANGER.

+
+
+

+ REFUSE + of a thankfully unspecified kind is obligatory + in the streets of TOWNS and CITIES. + Sometimes it lies about in such heaps that you + will feel it fortunate there are so few germs in + Fantasyland. +

+
+
+

See also ECOLOGY.

+
+
+

+ REGENTS. + These are hale men in their early forties, + often DUKES, who have charge of a Kingdom while + the monarch (usually a KING, but sometimes a + QUEEN, here indistinguishable from a spirited + PRINCESS) is too young to rule. + Nine-tenths of them are EVIL. + They have the young ruler under their thumbs in + a variety of unpleasant ways, and do not intend + to give up ruling even when the monarch comes of + age. + Most of them plot to kill her/him then. + Nearly all of them are bluff, pleasant, and + richly dressed, so Tourists may have trouble + discerning their true Evil until proof is + supplied. + Luckily the Management will supply it as soon + as the Tour is settled in the PALACE and is just + about to go to sleep for the night. + The Regent must then be unmasked and the young + monarch freed from her/his toils; but this will + not be easy. + The Regent is up to most tricks and will fight + back hard. + In some cases, the Regent will not be hale, but + sickly and careworn. + Be careful of Regents who are like this. + They are worse than the healthy kinds. +

+

+ RELIGION + is varied and widespread. + The Rule is that, even among rational peoples, + all adherents are extremely devout and in many + places worship is fanatical. + The exceptions to this Rule are all Other + PEOPLES, who do not appear to have Religions; + NORTHERN BARBARIANS, who believe only in spirits + and themselves; and BARBARY VIKINGS, who believe + in nothing. + Anywhere else you have to be careful what you + say about GODDESSES AND GODS. + There are three sorts of Religious + beliefs: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + One God. + This belief is generally represented as the + newer Religion, but only if the one God is + masculine. + Often, this male God is supposed to be the + Sun, but sometimes he just is. + Even when his worshippers see him as + benign, they tend to hate women and MAGIC + USERS (especially WITCHES, who are + both). + At their worst, they become extremely + cruel: they make strict and arbitrary laws + and stamp out all other beliefs as + heresy. + They also have a tendency to build a lot of + oppressive TEMPLES. + If, on the other hand, the one God believed + in is female, she will be a GOOD deity and + her worshippers nice people. + They will worship her out of doors or in + small shrines, with singing and very + charming festivals. + The exceptions here are the WAR AND WORSHIP + PEOPLE, whose Goddess is highly puritanical + and appears to be an ASPECT of Nature at its + worst. + This probably reflects the state of the + ECOLOGY. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Three Gods. + This is supposed to be the older, gentler + belief. + Certainly, those who believe in threesome + Gods simply get on quietly with their + devotions, not attempting to convert or + persecute anyone else. + Opinions differ as to the constituents of + this Triad. + Some Tours give it as being a Mother, + Father, and Son, others as Mother, Father, + and Daughter. + The Triad that most Managements opt for, + however, is VIRGIN, Mother, and CRONE. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Many Gods. + This entails the worship of whole tribes of + Gods, good and bad, who sometimes quarrel + bitterly among themselves. + The Rule here is that people always believe + in the whole lot of Gods, but devote + themselves, often quite fanatically, to just + one. + On some Tours, these Gods are spread out + over several countries, to which they act as + patron deities, but most Tours have the + pantheon gathered into one CITY for + convenience. + This City will boast a TEMPLE for each God, + each with its band of fervent and fanatical + worshippers. + Tourists should not miss the religious + processions here, which abound in quaint + customs: leaping, dancing, cutting oneself, + throwing oneself under the cart with the God + in it, chanting, walking backwards, and many + more things. + Just occasionally, a particularly savage + God worshipped in this City turns out to be + in fact a DEMON imprisoned under a + Temple. + Where this is the case, the Management will + always arrange for Tourists to descend and + view the Demon in its pit. +
    +
    4. +
+
+

+ There are two further absolute Rules for + Religion: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + All Gods fade away when their worshippers + stop believing in them. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + However benign and Holy a belief is, or + however zealously fanatics torture you, you + as a Tourist will never, ever become a + convert to any Religion you meet on a + Tour. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ See also IDOL and IMAGE. +

+
+
+

+ RELIGIOUS FEUDALISTS + have the same arrangements with HIGH PRIESTS as + ARISTOCRATIC FEUDALISTS have with the bad KINGS, + only in this case the ruler is the HIGH + PRIEST. + The inhabitants will go in terror of being + accused of heresy, losing sons to the priesthood + and daughters to the lusts of the clergy. + This usually lasts until the Tour comes along + and shakes them up. + But expect one or two people you like to get + crucified or burnt alive at the stake before you + can reform this COUNTRY. +

+

+ RINGS + are as dangerously magical as SWORDS. + Tourists should avoid putting on any + Ring. + If you have to acquire one as part of your + QUEST, the safest way to wear it is on a thong + round your neck. + The Rules for Rings are as follows: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Rings with large carved stones, usually + green, although sometimes a big ruby will + do. These are fairly harmless, since the + carving is the crest or totem of the owner’s + family. + The main thing these do is to prove your + right to a Kingdom or lordship. + Often the wrong person recognises it. + Then you are in Trouble. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Rings with CRYSTAL stones. + These need only be raised in anger for the + Crystal to shoot FIRE and POWER and blast + the people in front of you. + This is awkward if you happen to lose your + temper with a friend. + And a further trouble is that these Rings + need recharging frequently and will often + not work when you really need them to. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Rings with a dead black stone. + These are usually accursed (OMT) in some + way and will either drain your spirit or + allow the DARK LORD to take over your + mind. + Avoid these, no matter what other useful + things they do. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + Rings with any other kind of stone. + Most of these wilt have belonged to WIZARDS + or ELVES and the very least they will do is + allow you MINDSPEECH with someone + unexpected. + Those with blue-green stones will either + transport you abruptly elsewhere or put you + in touch with some GODDESS. + Some need only be turned around on the + finger for unexpected things to + happen. + If you must wear one of these, avoid + fidgeting with it. + You may suddenly turn into a DRAGON. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + Plain Rings with RUNES on the inside. + Avoid these like the PLAGUE. + The Rule is that, the plainer a Ring is, + the more powerfully MAGIC and accursed (OMT) + it will be. +
    +
    6. +
+
+

+ RITES + take place in TEMPLES, on hilltops at full + MOON, and in other places designated by + tradition at the start of the Tour; they + especially take place in front of IDOLS (gorily) + and IMAGES (with a certain twee + impressiveness). + If GOOD, Rites involve singing, a procession + and a ceremony both charming and solemn. + If EVIL (and these are in the majority), they + take place in darkness and involve chanting, + SACRIFICE, and bloodshed. + All are religious services to honour or placate + a deity. + The Rules allow the Tour to interrupt Evil + Rites but never Good ones. +

+

+ RIVERS + are frequent and wide. + As so many Tours take place in winter, they are + also usually swollen (OMT) and turbid (OMT) + . + The near absence of BRIDGES makes them rather a + nuisance to the Tourist. + You will have to cross them, which may mean + going miles to find either somewhere shallow + enough to ford or, conversely, a FERRYMAN. + It will be night when you find one of the + latter, and he will be very surly about getting + you across; he may then betray you to the forces + of the Dark who are following you. + On the bright side, Rivers are long, deep, and + wide, and there are often BOATS plying up and + down them. + If your Tour happens to tie down-or upriver, + then you can save much time and effort by + hitching a lift on a Riverboat. + River folk may likewise betray you, but they + are, unlike Ferrymen, cheerful and colourful, + and some are even GOOD (see COLOUR CODING and + TRAVELLING FOLK). +

+
+

+
+

MORE ON RIVERS

+

+ RIVERS in Fantasyland are often very + peculiar. + Some even flow uphill. + Setting aside normal features such as the fact + that neither WITCHES nor the forces of the Dark + are able to cross RIVERS, we are left with the + unaccountable way that each bank of a given + RIVER is liable to be different, and the even + more unaccountable way the local inhabitants + ((OMT) dwellers) ignore this oddity. + The reason seems to be that the left bank of a + River (facing downstream) is often Highly + Magical and full of Hidden Dangers, so that the + dwellers are unable to see that side of the + River at all. + Heaven knows what they think they see instead, + or the reason for the difference between the two + banks. + Although it is always the left bank that is + different, we can assume that the reason is not + political. +

+
+
+

+ ROADS + in Fantasyland are not good. + Tourists have frequent cause to complain. + There are several types of Road, each with its + characteristic inconvenience: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Ancient magical ways, normally engineered + from some black rocklike substance + impervious to wear. + These are so old that only short stretches + remain. + The rest has been torn up or buried in some + ancient CATACLYSM. + This can be exasperating. + You are just beginning to make some decent + mileage on this tarmaclike surface when it + stops, and you are back to a snail’s pace + again. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + ANCIENT ENGINEERING PROJECTS. + These are wider than an eight-lane highway, + dead straight, and made of cobbles that + preternaturally (OMT) show no sign of + ageing. + Though hardly ever used today –they are + characterised by windswept emptiness –they + were clearly built to allow a traffic of + horsedrawn carts, four lanes in each + direction, travelling at seventy miles per + hour. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Old trade routes. + These are long-disused and normally serve + to do little more than point you in the + right direction. + If you try to follow them you are quite + likely to get lost when the route peters out + into pathless moorland or even + MARSHES. + If the route is obvious, you will find no + shelter along it, and no WATER. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + Vestigial Roads of the VESTIGIAL + EMPIRE. + These cover quite a lot of the country and + were once good roads made of stone blocks, + but, in places from which the Empire has + withdrawn, no maintenance has been done for + centuries and most of the stones are missing + or broken. + It rains a lot along these roads and the + going gets rough. + If you are lucky you may find tumbledown + remnants of old guardposts along the way, + and these will provide some shelter; but + don’t count on it. + As these roads approach what now remains of + the Empire they are discovered to be in + better repair and, closer to the Imperial + capital, the guardposts are intact and well + manned. + Though this means you are safe from BANDITS + you are not safe from the GUARDS, who at the + sound of hooves will come out with demands + for toll and bribes, and generally attempt + to hassle you. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + Unpaved roads. + These are the norm. + They are always muddy and full of deep ruts + from the passage of MERCHANTS and previous + Tours. + They lead through dangerous WOODS and + abound in rocky defiles (OMT) ideal for + AMBUSH. + Nobody ever maintains these, despite + frequent representations to the Management, + and you have to use them because they are + the only way to get about. + Some Tourists lose patience and ride across + country, but this is not recommended because + it is the surest way to get attacked by + APELIKE CANNIBALS. +
    +
    6. +
+
+

+ ROBES + are the only garments, apart from SHIRTS, ever + to have sleeves. + They have three uses: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + As the official uniform of PRIESTS, + Priestesses, MONKS, Nuns (see NUNNERY), and + WIZARDS. + The OMT prescribed for the Robes of Priests + and Nuns is that they fall in severe folds; + of Priestesses that they float; and of + Wizards that they swirl. + You can thus see who you are dealing + with. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + For KlNGS. + The OMT here is falling in stately + folds. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + As the garb of DESERT NOMADS. + The OMT has the Robes covering them from + head to foot. + (See DESERT NOMADS for a discussion of a + possible TABOO here.) +
    +
    4. +
+
+

+ ROOTS + appear to be edible only in the MARSHES, where + the Marshfolk find them by some means unknown to + everyone else and dig them up to offer + Tourists. + These Roots are long, gluey, pallid, gritty, + and mud-covered. + But they make a change from STEW and + WAYBREAD. +

+

+ RUINS + of former days, like ANCIENT ENGINEERING + PROJECTS, litter Fantasyland. + Only the large kind are important to the Tour, + and even most of these will be just setting the + mood. + You are not expected to be happy on this + Tour. + The Ruins make you think of the sad losses of + former days. + But cheer up. + Just occasionally you will find TREASURE in a + Ruin. +

+

+ RUNES + are an intensely magical form of writing. + Anything written in Runes is going to be a + SPELL. +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + In GRIMOIRES. + If the Spell is in Runes it will do its + best to leap up and hit the Tourist reader, + or at the very least sort of + scintillate. + In such cases, Runes have a way of + translating themselves, so you may learn the + Spell without wanting to. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + In INSCRIPTIONS on rock. + These are useful. + Runes incised into cliffs reveal the + presence of a hidden doorway or, + particularly if inscribed on STONE CIRCLES, + show that supernatural protection is + available. + Just occasionally, though, they show that + entry is forbidden. + Ask your Tour MENTOR. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + In Fortune Telling. + Here the Runes are written on little wooden + buttons and thrown. + The patterns they fall into are as + important as the individual meaning of each + letter. + The Management, however, reserves the right + to alter the significance of both without + notice. + See PROPHECY. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + In Spellcasting. + MAGIC USERS draw Runes all over PENTAGRAMS + and around MAGIC circles as a prelude to + important Magics. + Some ADEPTS draw them inside other shapes, + even more potently. + Most WIZARDS incorporate Runes into the + GESTURES they use, in which case they will + briefly appear glowing in the air + (OMT). + We see from this that Runes do not need to + make words in order to be powerful. + The OMT here is Runes of Power. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + Hidden. + These Runes have to be made visible either + by a Magic User passing her/his hands across + them, by the application of heat, or by the + light falling on them in a certain + way. + Runes of this kind tell anyone their + message after that. + But Wizards can leave hidden Runes written + on walls that are only visible glowing in + the air (OMT) to other Wizards. + Hidden Runes are always extremely + important. +
    +
    6. +
  6. +
    + Written on RINGS and SWORDS. + These Runes always make words and nearly + always mean trouble. + Avoid any artifact with Runes on it, even + if the Runes prove only to spell the maker’s + name. +
    +
    7. +
+

 

+

+
+

S

+
+
+

+ Settle for what you can get, but first ask for + the World. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, Gnomic Utterances, C iv +

+
+
+

+ SACRIFICE + is made both in TEMPLES and as an aid to the + BLACK ARTS. + In its minor form it involves cutting the + throat of an ANIMAL, usually a goat. + The major and preferred form is of course the + ritual killing of a human, preferably young, + female, and beautiful. + This is normally done in a dim reddish light + –to the accompaniment of chanting –and on an + ALTAR. + The victim is roped down, ritually raped, and + then disembowelled. + Someone has to stand at one end of the Altar to + catch the blood, which has many uses in RELIGION + and MAGIC. + This kind of Sacrifice is frequently + interrupted by a rescue party. + Uninterrupted Sacrifices are much more sinister + and complicated. + Here the Tour will come upon the scene only + after the Sacrifice has been performed, to find + the ritually mutilated (OMT) corpse hanging + piteously in its ropes on the Altar. + A pause is usually allowed here, while you bury + the corpse. +

+
+
+

+ SADDLE ROLL + is what the Rules state you have to have for + luggage; saddlebags are the only + alternative. + This is fine until your last HORSE is + killed. +

+
+
+

See also BACKPACKS.

+
+
+

+ SAGA. + This is another word for your Tour, + particularly if it goes on for several + brochures. +

+

+ SAGE. + A wise and Holy man who died a long time + ago. + No one modern qualifies. +

+

+ SAVING THE WORLD + is something many Tours require you to + do. + You have to defeat the DARK LORD or WIZARDS who + are trying to enslave everyone. + It is about the same as a QUEST, except there + is always a WAR, a personal CONFRONTATION, and a + CATACLYSM before you succeed. + Thousands of troops and DEMONS must be + annihilated. + The CITADEL or base of EVIL must be destroyed + (razed (OMT)). + This usually triggers a semi-natural + disaster. + Sometimes large parts of the world you are + saving go up in smoke. +

+

+ SCALY FOLK + apart from Dragons – are numerous and of all + sizes from knee-high to a towering ten feet or + more. + They divide into lizard kinds, who live on land + in warm climates, and fishy-snaky kinds, who + live in the sea. + These latter always have a telltale web between + their fingers. + All walk upright like humans. + All are intelligent and many can do + MINDSPEECH. + Quite a few are very wise as well. + If, however, the Management calls them subtle + (OMT) this means they are not friendly to + Tourists. + Scaly Folk can appear as servitors or as + advisors with useful KNOWLEDGE, but for some + reason they never become COMPANIONS on the + Tour. + This may be because they are + cold-blooded. +

+

+ SCENERY. + See LANDSCAPE and the cover of any + brochure. + The Tour will pass through a lot of Scenery, + but no one will have much time to admire + it. +

+

+ SCEPTRES + are, in Fantasyland, much more than mere + regalia. + They are a Royal version of a WIZARD’S STAFF, + made vastly more potent by being impregnated + with Royal powers over generations of + monarchs. + Luckily they respond only to one of Royal + blood. + But, since they are so potent, someone has + usually taken the Sceptre away and hidden + it. + The Tour will QUEST to recover it. + Sometimes it is far away in a cave or + underground fastness, only happened upon by + accident; sometimes it is concealed by cunning + MAGIC in the PALACE itself. + In this case, the Tour must infiltrate the + Palace and deceive the REGENT or usurper into + letting them search the place. + This search is made more difficult by the fact + that Sceptres can disguise the way they look and + slot into the furniture as if they were part of + it. + Normally only when the hand of the true heir + (likely a MISSING HEIR) is laid upon it will a + Sceptre reveal itself. + It will be a sort of golden truncheon with a + large STONE or CRYSTAL at the top. + Some have l ittle wings near the bottom. +

+

+ SCHOOL OF WEAPONRY + is to be found in most TOWNS belonging to + ARISTOCRATIC FEUDALISTS and outside any + MERCENARY winter quarters. + The school will be in a house that is + impressively neat, well maintained (often with + vines trained up the walls), and very + civilized. + There will be a bare gymnasium with a good + floor and an outside PRACTICE RING with a superb + surface: everything in apple-pie order, in + fact. + A huge variety of training WEAPONS will hang + from walls in neat rows. + But the instruction and training given, though + wholly excellent, will be very expensive. + The Rule here is that the Tourist will not be + able to afford any lessons and so will be forced + to act as a sparring partner for pupils at the + school. + Be prepared to receive painful blows and many + bruises. + But it will pay off. In a remarkably short time + you will be able to defeat the School’s star + pupil and give a good account of yourself to the + WEAPONMASTER himself. + You will be glad of this when you are enslaved + and forced to fight as a GLADIATOR. +

+

+ SCROLLS + are important sources of information about + either HISTORY or MAGIC, and are only to be + found jealously guarded in a MONASTERY or + TEMPLE. + You will usually have to steal your copy. + Against this inconvenience is the highly useful + fact that the Information in the Scroll will be + wholly correct. + There is, for some reason, no such thing as a + lying, mistaken, or inaccurate Scroll. +

+

+ SCURVY. + Despite a diet consisting entirely of STEW and + WAYBREAD, supplemented by only the occasional + FISH, you will not suffer from this or any other + deficiency disease. + It is possible that, while on the Tour, you + absorb vitamin C through the pores of your + skin. +

+

+ SEA MONSTERS + are always vast, of whatever kind. + You will see the odd Kraken, a Leviathan or so, + and a sea serpent in huge loops, each one + capable of wrapping itself around a SHIP. + Most of them do no permanent harm: you will + only be shipwrecked, and after clinging to a + spar for a few days you will come to land. +

+

+ SEA PEOPLE + can be normal SCALY FOLK, but there are quite a + few other kinds. + The most common of these are the + quasi-human: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Mermaids and mermen (Merfolk (OMT)) . + These seem to have given up tempting + mariners to their deaths and are generally + friendly. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + SHAPESHIFTING people. + These often manifest as seals, but in some + cases can be whales, dolphins, or + fish. + The Management refers to them impartially + as Selkies; this means “seals,” but must + here be considered a technical term. + Selkies are often fey and as hard to + understand as MYSTICAL MASTERS, but if they + appear in human form it is always because + they have something important to tell + you. + See BAYS for where to contact them. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ SEASONS + in Fantasyland appear to be the normal Spring, + Summer, Autumn (sometimes called Fall by the + Management), and Winter, but few Tours get to + see them all. + The Management tends to start you out in late + Autumn, by tradition, and you will then + experience only Winter. + Your perceptions are messed up anyway, because + you will be travelling into hot climates and + cold, as well as traversing many magical + microclimates. + You may as well give up wondering what the + Season is and think of it all as WEATHER. +

+
+
+

+ WHAT TO DO WHEN TAKING THE SECOND BROCHURE OF + YOUR TOUR +

+

+ This is the one where the Management has + largely run out of ideas. It has lots of ideas + for your third Tour, such as the Final + Confrontation, the End of the World, and so + forth, but for now it is simply marking time + until then. + If unchecked, it will cause you merely to rush + about Fantasyland, doing nothing very + much. + You must +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Bully your Tour MENTOR. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Bully her/him into taking you to lots of + interesting places such as The Caves of + Mourning, The Cataracts of Blindness, and + The Many-Coloured Land. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Make sure you collect many more QUEST + OBJECTS. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + Bully your Tour Mentor into discovering a + minor DARK LORD in a secondary CITADEL + somewhere, so that you can usefully destroy + her/him, preferably by invoking the Forces + of Nature. +
    +
    5. +
+
+

+ Even so, at the end of this Tour, you are + liable to find yourself back more or less where + you started, waiting for the Big One. +

+
+
+

+ SECRET. + A Secret of some sort is quite usual on a + Tour. + There are four main kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Objects that must be kept Secret. + These are stolen SCROLLS, RINGS, AMULETS, + and most other QUEST OBJECTS. + You will not want ENEMIES to know you have + these. + Some, like ORBS and SWORDS, insist on + shining in public and have to be muffled in + blankets. + Oddly, most Objects try to reveal + themselves in INNS. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Personal Secrets. + Some COMPANIONS will not want their gender + or their Royal birth known (see + BIRTHRIGHT). + Others will be of a nation or calling that + could get them killed. + For instance, WITCHES must generally be + Secret in RELIGIOUS FEUDALIST + Countries. + Or Other PEOPLES will have to go to great + lengths to conceal their hairiness from + xenophobes (see XENOPHOBIA) in the FANATIC + CALIPHATES. + Or the entire Tour will for a while have to + pretend allegiance to a bad KING for safety, + and their real allegiance must be kept + Secret. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Magical Secrets. + These are either SPELLS or formulae + necessary to the QUEST, which must usually + be wrested from a WIZARD or a GRIMOIRE, or + Magical Rules withheld by the Management for + a later surprise. + This is where you will find your Tour + MENTOR especially maddening, because she/he + will have known all along . +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + Vital Secrets. + These are Secrets that cost lives. + They can be the Secret way into a PALACE or + CASTLE (see, for example, SECRET PASSAGES); + the mustering of a Secret ARMY by the DARK + LORD; the Secret substitution of the true + PRINCE by a lookalike; the Secret conquest + of a CITADEL/COUNTRY; a crucial and Very + Secret weakness in the Dark Lord; or Secret + KNOWLEDGE about the way the Gods made the + world. +
    +
    5. +
+
+

+ SECRET PASSAGES. + No CASTLE, CITADEL, PALACE, or TEMPLE is + complete without a lot of these, and very useful + they are too. + Although many Secret Passages are in the + cellars or DUNGEONS, so that the release and + escape of prisoners can be easily effected, + there are usually just as many within the thick + walls of the upper storeys. + The upper Passages will be reached by pressing + in a certain place on a wooden or stone wall + carving, whereupon a narrow door will creak open + to reveal a ladderlike stair. + This will take you to the Passages in the walls + of the COUNCIL Chamber and bedchambers, each + provided with its concealed spyhole and + listening space. + If you go this way, you are bound to hear + something important about your QUEST or Mission + or discover that someone you thought friendly is + plotting your downfall. You may also find your + boyfriend making love to the QUEEN. + Be careful not to rush away then in a state of + shock: the Secret Passages are a maze and you + will soon become lost. + Usually the Management has thoughtfully + provided you with a COMPANION on this jaunt who + knows the Passages like the back of her/his + hand, and you will be able to leave at once by + the underground route through the SEWERS. +

+
+
+

+ Tourists should note, however, that Secret + Passages are useful to the forces of EVIL + too. + Be wary of what you say inside any BUILDING + with thick walls. + Someone is usually standing at the spyhole + listening in. + SECRETS are safe only when told inside a + TENT. +

+

+ See also UNDERGROUND PASSAGES. +

+
+
+

+ SEER. + A Talented old man or young woman able to see + into the future (see PROPHECY and TALENT). + They are either blind with white eyes (OMT) or + tend to wear a symbolic blindfold. + Having the GIFT OF SIGHT does not make Seers at + all happy. + Young female Seers are usually morbid and + neurotic. + Old men seem to have adjusted better, probably + from having learnt there is nothing they can do + about what they See (OMT). +

+

+ SELF-KNOWLEDGE + is, on rare occasions, a QUEST OBJECT. + It is seldom found, and then only by + PRINCES. + Tourists are not expected to acquire it. +

+

+ SERIOUS SOLDIER + is a rather boring Tour COMPANION, although a + very efficient one. + He is even better at his job than the FEMALE + MERCENARY and speaks even less. + He is usually on the Tour to guard someone, and + has no interest in it otherwise. + Nevertheless you will miss him when he is + killed. +

+

+ SEWERS. + Despite the presence of so much REFUSE and + SQUALOR, most CASTLES and CITIES seem nowadays + to have Sewers. + Their use, apart from the obvious one, is to + provide access to or escape from the + interior. + Be warned. + Many Tours make use of Sewers in preference to + SECRET PASSAGES. + Opportunities for WASHING afterwards are not + always provided. + Do not worry, though: most often, within half a + day, all trace of stench will have vanished from + you and your CLOTHING, almost as if the + Management had forgotten about it. +

+
+
+

+ SEX + is obligatory at some stage in the Tour. + The Rules differ according to whether you are + male or female. + If male, your partner will be either an + ever-youthful WITCH or some other beautiful and + obliging female, possibly a female SLAVE. + In any case you will not be obliged to feel any + emotion and no offspring will result. + If female, you are required to have strong + feelings for your partner, who will usually be + worthy of your regard. + Again, there will be no offspring. + Female Tourists should note that they will not + menstruate during the Tour. + Both sexes will be glad to know that sexually + transmitted diseases are unknown. +

+
+
+

See also BATH.

+
+
+

+ SHAMAN + is another word for “charlatan” in + Fantasyland. + This pretended MAGIC USER will be dirty and + strung about with little hairy bags. + He will mumble a lot and produce useless + information. + An honest Shaman is unknown, although many seem + to believe in their own powers. + An exception to this is the Magic User you will + find among the DESERT NOMADS. + She/he will sometimes be called a Shaman, but + this is only because the true job description + –MAGICIAN-SEER—PRIEST-HEALER-and-any-other-odd-magic –is + a little long-winded. + When you meet this person, you will see that + she/he is in no way to be compared to the usual + kind of Shaman. +

+

+ SHAPESHIFTING + is frequent among both WERES and MAGIC + USERS. + The usual form taken is that of a WOLF (see + also WEREWOLVES), but lions, eagles, serpents, + owls, and cats are common too. + In all cases the Rule is that the Shapeshifter + cannot stay too long in ANIMAL form without + actually becoming that Animal and losing touch + with her/his human thoughts. + There are two schools of Shapeshifting: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Illusory. + Here the shifter either pretends to have or + has thrust upon her/him the appearance of an + Animal. + You will drop to all fours but not lose + your clothes. + It is very important not to believe in this + ILLUSION + –otherwise you may go for days on hands and + feet and get blisters and a cricked + neck. + A better form of this is to take the + appearance of a piece of furniture. + You will be far less ready to believe you + are a table or a cupboard. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Actual. + Here you really are the Animal or + thing. + In this case it is better not to become + furniture. + You will end up being an armchair for the + rest of your life. + There are two methods here: +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + Change on land from human to + Animal. + This is normally swift and + painless, though some Weres seem to + suffer rather as their faces turn + inside out. + However, the most you will feel is + discomfort and disorientation, + shortly replaced by a wonderful + sense of SMELL or the realization + you can fly. + The problem here is your + clothes. + They will not Shift with you and + must be discarded. + When you change back you will be + naked. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + Change at sea. + This often involves donning or + discarding the skin of a seal, + dolphin, or walrus. + This skin must be stashed carefully + on the beach. + If someone gets hold of it you will + not be able to turn back. +
      +
      3. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ There is an absolute Rule that any wounds + sustained in another form go back with you into + human form. +

+
+
+

+ SHIELDS + are of four kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Big oblong ones used by soldiers of the + VESTIGIAL EMPIRE to protect them in + fighting. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Round ones hung along the sides of SHIPS + run by BARBARY VIKINGS. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Large, hastily assembled protection for + ARMIES attacking WALLED CITIES. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + Psychic. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + No one else uses a Shield at all. + This is odd, given the amount of fighting + that goes on. +
    +
    6. +
+
+

+ SHIPS. + The Rule is that PIRATE Ships are faster than + anything –except that BARBARY VIKINGS, when on + the side of GOOD, can overtake even + PIRATES. +

+
+
+

+ See also BOATS and GALLEYS. +

+
+
+

+ SHIRTS + are always of thin material with long, floppy + sleeves. + They are normally worn without UNDERWEAR, and + do not seem very warm. + If you are prone to feel the cold, you are + advised not to visit the SNOWBOUND NORTH (see + FROSTBITE, HYPOTHERMIA, and WEATHER). +

+

+ SHOPS + have not been invented yet, even in the + VESTIGIAL EMPIRE. + Visit the MARKET instead. +

+

+ SIEGE + is when the ENEMY surrounds a CITY or TOWN + (especially a WALLED CITY) and tries to break + down the walls. + The Rule is that no besieger is ever content + just to CAMP round the City and starve the + defenders out. + Tour schedules do not allow time for + this. + Instead, the Enemy throws soldiers under + SHIELDS, battering rams, and Siege engines at + the walls continuously, while the defenders + shoot arrows from the walls and repel from the + battlements soldiers scaling Siege towers and + ladders. + A lot of people on both sides get + wounded. + The defenders eventually run short of arrows + but not of FOOD and Pluck. + No one is forced to eat rats or HORSES. + But the Enemy eventually breaches the walls and + rampages around the City, killing, raping, and + looting. + No Siege is ever called off. + Tourists, however, always escape through SECRET + PASSAGES. +

+

+ SIGHT + is the TALENT of being able to See (OMT) into + either the future or the past, or in a more + general divinatory way into the workings of + MAGIC or human politics and emotions. + It is useful, but it can be a great burden to + the possessor. +

+
+
+

See also SEER.

+
+
+

+ SILK + is worn quite frequently by the richer + classes. + It follows that somewhere in the land there + must be a considerable and sophisticated silk + industry (for instance, the OMT to describe the + silk dresses of most female SLAVES is + diaphanous, which argues considerable refinement + among the producers), but the Tour will never + take you anywhere near places where silkworms + are cultivated. + The Management wishes to keep some + secrets. +

+
+
+

See also INSECTS.

+
+
+

+ SING + is used in a technical sense. + This is because MUSIC is so powerful in + Fantasyland that no one can really just Sing a + SONG without risking a Magical result. +

+
+
+

+ The most frequent use of Singing is to speed a + dead person’s soul on its way. + On some Tours no one is properly dead without + it (see UNDEAD). + Otherwise Singing is an invocation, a SPELL, or + a way of summoning nature MAGICS for some + purpose. + Tourists should be careful to avoid humming a + casual tune. + You may find you have summoned an ELEMENTAL, a + STORM, or a selection of GODDESSES AND + GODS. +

+
+
+

+ SKIRTS + are of five kinds, most to the ankle or + below: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Coarse HOMESPUN, as worn by peasant women + to show that they will be taking no real + part in the action. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + SILK, worn by women of high birth to show + that they are malicious and/or + demanding. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + SILK, worn by women of very high birth to + show that they are helpless pawns . +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + Gauzy, split to the hip, showing the wearer + to be a SLAVE and/or dancing girl, or else a + WITCH in seduction mode . +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + Little leather skirts worn by imperial + GUARDS of the VESTIGIAL EMPIRE, showing how + hardy they are . +
    +
    6. +
+
+

+ SLAVES, FEMALE, + are of three kinds, probably: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Tourists who have been captured by PIRATES + or BANDITS. + The Rules here state that such females must + be lightly chained, loaded as soon as may be + into a fairly small SHIP, and ferried to the + OTHER CONTINENT. + From this description you will see that + this is the way female Tourists must proceed + in order to take in that part of the Tour + (see GALLEY SLAVE for the male route). + Arrived at the Other Continent, you will be + put up for auction in the Slave + MARKET. + You may well be annoyed to find how little + your new owner pays for you, but this is the + Management’s way of protecting you from + rape, beatings, and other hardships. + Your purchaser will bring you to her/his + villa (a building of one storey, mostly + built of wood and covering a lot of ground) + and there you will be put to work. + You may even learn some useful skill, such + as pastry-making or weaving. + Alternatively, you might use the time to + learn the alphabet of this continent (see + HIEROGLYPHS) or study MAGIC. + Make full use of this opportunity. + Shortly, the villa will be raided by a CLAN + that is feuding with your owner, and burnt + down. + You may use the resulting chaos to escape + and continue your Tour. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Beautiful young women. + You will find these in droves in the + FANATIC CALIPHATES and sometimes in the + PALACES of bad KINGS. + Their duties are light and pleasant and + are: looking beautiful, bathing and + massaging visitors, singing and dancing, + and, for male Tourists, providing company in + bed. + None of them seem unhappy in their work and + they show no desire to escape. + It is not usually possible to discover + their life stories, but sometimes one will + tell you that her father was a MERCHANT and + that she was kidnapped by BANDITS somewhere + many hundreds of miles away and was forced + to watch her father being killed before she + was carried off. + Few seem to have been born to slavery + . +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ Often male Tourists will sympathize with the + plight of such Slaves, nobly reject their offer + of free, no-holds-barred SEX, insist on + assisting them to escape from the exploitative + tyranny under which they have been existing, and + then, having obviously done them a Good Turn, + have free, no-holds-barred Sex before stranding + them in the middle of nowhere to make their way + thousands of miles back to their own + COUNTRY. +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Drudges. + These exist, but are seldom seen. + There must be someone who does the dusting, + polishing, and laundry required in a large + PALACE, as there must also be some + occupation needed for beautiful young Slaves + who are no longer beautiful or young, but + you will not get to meet any. + In fact, the only time you will become + aware of drudges will be when you need to + escape the Palace. + You will still not meet one, but you will + find a closet where drudges’ clothes are + hanging. + When you put these on, you will gain the + same INVISIBILITY as the drudge, and can + simply walk away. + Why all the drudges do not do exactly this + is a SECRET of the Management . +
    +
    2. +
+
+

+ SLAVES, MALE, + are used by bad KINGS, FANATIC CALIPHATES, and + some WIZARDS in large numbers as GUARDS, + attendants, fan-bearers, waiters and + entertainment, and for SEX. + Bad Kings and Fanatic Caliphates always have + their male Slaves in matching sets, as in a + litter borne by four gigantic ebony slaves + (OMT), fanned by two beautiful young boys (OMT) + , a troupe of slender young acrobats (OMT) , the + door guarded by two seemingly identical + Barbarian slaves (OMT), + etc. + A Wizard tends to have his Slaves more + mismatched but rather more attentive, unless he + intends to rule the world, in which case he will + try to be like a bad King. +

+
+
+

See also EUNUCHS.

+
+
+

+ SLENDER YOUTH. + A Tour COMPANION who may be either a lost + PRINCE or a girl/PRINCESS in disguise. + In the latter case it is tactful to pretend you + think she is a boy. + She/he will be ignorant, hasty, and shy, and + will need hauling out of trouble quite a + lot. + But she/he will grow up in the course of the + Tour. + In fact she/he will be the only Companion who + will change in any way. + Quite often, she/he will soon exhibit a very + useful TALENT for MAGIC and end up by hauling + everyone else out of trouble. + But this will not be until midway through your + second brochure. +

+

+ SMALL MAN + can be a very funny or very tiresome Tour + COMPANION, depending on how this kind of thing + grabs you. + He gambles (see GAMING), he drinks too much, + and he always runs away. + Since the Rules allow him to make JOKES, he + will excuse his behaviour in a variety of + comical ways. + Physically he is stunted and not at all + handsome, although he usually dresses + flamboyantly. + He tends to wear hats with feathers in. + You will discover he is very vain. + But, if you can avoid smacking him, you will + come to tolerate if not love him. + He will contrive, in some cowardly way, to play + a major part in SAVING THE WORLD. +

+

+ SMELLS + are everywhere and strong, and, except for + those of ENCHANTRESSES and INCENSE, + unpleasant. + Even DANGER has a Smell –the REEK OF + WRONGNESS + (OMT). + There is something in the chemistry of the land + that makes Smells. + It is probably a fallout effect of MAGIC, but + see also SOCKS and TROUSERS. +

+

+ SNOWBOUND NORTH + is the COUNTRY beyond the most northerly + MOUNTAINS where the NORTHERN BARBARIANS + live. + It is quite often the place where the DARK LORD + chooses either to sequester himself or to plant + a MUTANT NASTY of huge proportions whose magical + exudations poison the whole continent. + Therefore it is a very important place and the + Tour will unfailingly call there. + Do not expect a pleasant time. + You will have to gatecrash a PALACE of ice + and/or torch the Nasty. + And contend with deep snow, blizzards, and + Barbarians. +

+
+
+

+ See also CHILBLAINS and HYPOTHERMIA. +

+
+
+

+ SOCKS + are never worn in Fantasyland. + People thrust their feet, usually unwashed, + straight into BOOTS. +

+

+ SONGS + in Fantasyland perform the same function as + LEGENDS. + If you are made to attend to the words of a + Song, this is because they contain KNOWLEDGE you + need. + The tune is not important. +

+
+
+

+ See also MUSIC and SING. +

+
+
+

+ SORCERY + is sometimes a general word for MAGIC, usually + connected with wiles (OMT) , but also sometimes + a technical term, referring to that part of + Magic entailing the storage and use of + POWER. + In the latter case, the Sorcerer becomes a sort + of battery. +

+
+
+

+ SOUL. + Your Soul is at risk from the moment you enter + Fantasyland. + If you are not shortly possessed by a DEMON or + simply by another person (in both cases you will + keep hearing a second voice in your head, often + quarrelling violently with you), you are liable + to have your Soul snatched abruptly to the + Astral Plane for various strange experiences, or + find your Soul transformed in a variety of + unpleasing ways. + Failing this, you will be subject to Psychic + Vampirism, where someone will drain you of the + will to live. + To avoid all this, you must get your TOUR + MENTOR to put strong protections around your + Soul at the outset. +

+

+ SPEECH. + On some Tours it is necessary to adopt a + high-falutin form of Speech. + Instead of saying, “I shall go out and take a + look” you have to say, “I shall now walk forth + and examine things without.” + This is tiresome to have to keep up. + Even more tiresome are those PANCELTIC + TOURS where you have to keep remembering to say + “Och aye” and “Top of the marnin’ te ye.” + But these are the Rules. +

+
+
+

See also LANGUAGES.

+
+
+

+ SPELLS + can do almost anything. + They usually involve chanting, GESTURES, and + ritual, but these range from a simple, silly + rhyme to hours of invocation accompanied by the + drawing of symbols, according to the complexity + required. + Some Spells require HERBS and outlandish + ingredients like fish-feathers. + Many can be readied beforehand and cast with a + final word, and quite a few of these can be seen + floating through the air before they roost on + the victim and take effect. + This sort of half-life in Spells can be + dangerous, particularly if the Spell is written + down. + It can enter the mind of its own accord. +

+
+
+

+ See also ENCHANTMENT, MAGIC, and + GRIMOIRES. +

+
+
+

+ SPIDERS + are rare. + This is fortunate because they are always of + enormous size and venom. + They lair in certain WOODS and in CAVES, where + shorter and slighter Tourists may be seriously + inconvenienced by their gigantic webs made of + sticky, rope-thick strands. + Often only a special SWORD will cut these webs, + and it usually takes two or more Tourists to + defeat the Spider. + The reason for the monstrous size of Spiders in + Fantasyland is that their former prey, INSECTS, + no longer exists (see also ECOLOGY), so that + Spiders have been forced to evolve into + something big enough to entrap DWARFS, GNOMES, + and small succulent humans. +

+

+ SPIES + are as much part of life in Fantasyland as they + are in our own world. + The ARISTOCRATIC FEUDALISTS, FANATIC + CALIPHATES, MERCHANT FEUDALISTS, and VESTIGIAL + EMPIRE have Spies everywhere. + Many HIGH PRIESTS and some PIRATES also + maintain them. + BANDITS plant one in every CARAVAN. + And the DARK LORD and his MINIONS have Spies in + all KINGS’ courts. + (See also BIRDS and UNPLEASANT STRANGER.) The + majority of Spies will of course report by + MAGIC, sometimes in MINDSPEECH, but usually by + some Farspeaking device such as a RING, a + CRYSTAL, or an ORB. + Tourists must be prepared to be watched every + inch of their way. +

+
+
+

See also ENEMY SPIES.

+
+
+

+ SPOON. + About the only EATING IMPLEMENT you are allowed + apart from your own knife or DAGGER. +

+

+ SPORT. + The only real Sport is FIGHTS. + Those who can, train fiercely and take on + everyone. + Those who can’t watch GLADIATORS and lay + BETS. +

+
+
+

+ See also GAMES and GAMING. +

+
+
+

+ SQUALOR + is the OMT for “local colour.” + Mostly it occurs in TOWNS and SMELLS rather + strong (noisome (OMT), unspeakable (OMT)), but it is in + fact wholly innocuous and just there for + show. +

+

+ STAFFS. + The magical implement of nearly all + WIZARDS. + Staffs are about five or six feet long and + often twisted or carven (OMT) with some kind of + head or face at the top end. + Bad Wizards tend to have Staffs that are black + and made of no easily recognizable + substance. + The face at the top will be nasty and may bite + or give electric shocks. + GOOD Wizards have Staffs made from real, honest + wood. + Both kinds can ignite with blue MAGELIGHT when + necessary. + Depending on the Rules for MAGIC on this + particular Tour, a Staff can contain all a + Wizard’s SPELLS, leaving him helpless without + it; or be simply a convenient conduit for Magic; + or have a life of its own. +

+

+ STALLIONS + are always ridden by KINGS and other important + people. + You get the impression that no one of any + standing would be seen dead on a mare or a + gelding. + Luckily, the Stallions are quite docile about + it. + (See HORSES for the reason why these impressive + beasts are so easy to control.) STANDING + STONES. + See PORTALS, QUESTS, STONE CIRCLES, and + STONES. +

+

+ STARS + are quite unlike those of Earth. + For one thing, they seem to predict the future + much more accurately than our own. +

+
+
+

+ See also ASTROLOGY and ZODIAC. +

+
+
+

+ STARTING POINT + is where you commence your Tour. + Having proceeded through your PORTAL to + Fantasyland, you will find yourself either on + the MAP in the neighbourhood of a small to + medium TOWN, such as Gna’ash (immediately see + SQUALOR), or in rather poor circumstances, + usually those of a menial in a KITCHEN or an + APPRENTICE to a BLACKSMITH (see SQUALOR again) + in an unimportant corner of the continent. + If you are in Gna’ash, you must at once set + about acquiring COMPANIONS and equipment on your + own. + If you are in menial circumstances, you will be + contacted by your Tour MENTOR (normally an + elderly male MAGIC USER with much experience) + who will tell you what to do, which is almost + certainly to discover you are a MISSING HEIR + and, after three brochures, to claim your + rightful THRONE. +

+

+ STEPPES + are miles and miles of rolling grassland that + suddenly happen some way south of the SNOWBOUND + NORTH. + They are a marvellous place for breeding + HORSES, and the ANGLO-SAXON COSSACKS who live + here do just that. + But, since the Anglo-Saxon Cossacks do not find + themselves able to live in TENTS, the Management + has carefully strewn the grasslands with large + outcrops of rock suitable for CITADELS and + Dwellings. + The result is austerely picturesque (OMT) + . + The sole drawback here is the wind, which + brings continual squalls of sleet and + snow. +

+

+ STEW + (the OMTs are thick and savoury, which + translate as “viscous” and “dark brown”) is the + staple FOOD in Fantasyland, so be warned. + You may shortly be longing passionately for + omelette, steak, or baked beans, but none of + these will be forthcoming, indoors or out. + Stew will be what you are served to eat every + single time. + Given the disturbed nature of life in this + land, where in CAMP you are likely to be + attacked without warning (but see BATH), and in + an INN prone to be the centre of a TAVERN BRAWL, + Stew seems to be an odd choice as staple food, + since, on a rough calculation, it takes forty + times as long to prepare as steak. + But it is clear the inhabitants have not yet + discovered fast food. + The exact recipe for Stew is of course a + Management secret, but it is thought to contain + meat of some kind and perhaps even + vegetables. + Do not expect a salad on the side. +

+

+ STONE CIRCLES + are on some Tours quite a feature of the WASTE + AREAS. + Most are simple circles, but some can instantly + turn into a maze when entered by the + unwary. + They can be GOOD or EVIL, and are given COLOUR + CODING accordingly. + A Good Stone Circle will be of either white or + bluish STONES, which may have a RUNE carved on + them somewhere to confirm this allegiance. + Inside such a Circle a Tourist may travel to + another place or be safe for the night from the + forces of Dark, which will sniff round the edges + but be unable to enter. + Further to this, Good Stone Circles are a + powerful aid to magically induced KNOWLEDGE and + sometimes even to SELF-KNOWLEDGE. + You can sometimes have quite an argument with + one. + After a night of defending your motives, you + will come away wiser. + Bad Stone Circles are of black Stones, shine + with an unwholesome sickly light (OMT), and are + imbued with the REEK OF WRONGNESS + (OMT) . + Avoid entering these. +

+

+ STONES. + Some QUESTS prefer a spot marked by a Stone as + the QUEST OBJECT. + Such Stones can be on: an ISLAND, in which case + the Tour will be met by ELVES, MYSTICAL MASTERS, + or special guardians; a crag, in which case the + Quest goes on after an interval for meditation + and SELF-KNOWLEDGE; or in a remote spot or + CAVE + –this Stone will have an INSCRIPTION which + ought to clarify things. + Nearly all Stones are Quest Objects in the + second brochure only. + You will need to book another Tour after + finding them. +

+

+ STORM CONTROL + can be exercised by most WIZARDS and many other + MAGIC USERS, but even the most EVIL of these is + remarkably conventional: rain, hail, snow, dust, + ice, and wind are the only kind of STORMS + raised. + These are, of course, useful in their places, + but not one Storm -raiser shows half the invention of, let us say, + Moses. + Rains of frogs, showers of blood, and + Storm-borne locusts are practically + unexploited. +

+

+ STORMS + are of three kinds. + Not surprisingly, hardly a day passes without a + Storm of some kind. +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Natural (see WEATHER). + These are all the usual kinds, including + dust storms. + The Rule is that a Storm occurs when you + least need it to. + Storms at sea are likely to throw up both + MONSTERS and whirlpools (maelstroms (OMT)) . +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Magical (see STORM CONTROL). + Here a WIZARD will have produced the MAGIC + to make a natural-style Storm at the time + and place it is needed. + These are actually less inconvenient than + the normal kind, unless the WIZARD is your + Enemy, but also rather more severe. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Storms of MAGIC. + These are quite unpredictable to + everyone. + They occur when the lumps of loose Magic + and/or the BACKLASHES to major SPELLS get + out of control. + They can be very violent and may last for + days, during which time the very fabric of + existence quakes, MAGIC USERS become sick or + fall over, coloured lights manifest, + sparkling MISTS swirl, and ANIMALS and + plants are flung for many leagues. + The Rule is that these Storms avoid major + centres of population. +
    +
    4. +
+
+

+ STRANGE RACES + whose individuals are both aggres sive and + expendable turn up here and there in CAVES and + TAVERN BRAWLS and aboard PIRATE Ships. + They can be of any shape and size the + Management chooses. + Their main function is to get killed and to + bleed blood of an unspecified strange colour + (OMT). + Just occasionally, a Tourist succeeds in making + friends with one of these PEOPLES, whereupon + she/he will discover that Strange Races are + almost human. +

+

+ SWORDS. + You are advised to choose your Sword with great + care and, if possible, have it thoroughly + checked by a jobbing MAGICIAN before undertaking + ownership. + Swords are dangerous. + This does not simply mean that you can stab + yourself in the foot with one without due care + (though some Swords do that too, if crossed): it + means that all Swords in Fantasyland are + dangerously magical in some way. + Here are the hazards you should look out for + and avoid if possible: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Swords with RUNES. Runes are almost always + a sign that your Sword is +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + Designed only to kill + DRAGONS. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + Designed for some other specific + victim, such as GOBLINS or + UNDEAD. +
      +
      3. +
    +
    2. +
+
+

+ Both + A) and B) are likely to let you down if you are + attacked by ordinary humans. +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Designed for some other purpose entirely, + so that when drawn it will proceed to raise + a STORM or –Gods protect you! + –try to heal your assailant. +
    +
    2. +
+
+

+ Be wary of Runes, even if they appear to say + only “Made in Gna’ash.” +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Swords with Souls. These will contain +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + The soul of someone formerly alive + or, worse, +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + A soul of their own. +
      +
      3. +
    +
    2. +
+
+

+ Swords of both + A ) and B) types are prone to argue with you in + MINDSPEECH whenever you are trying to use them + to fight with. + Since the Rules clearly state that all Swords + are extremely old, your Sword’s soul will be old + too, and probably set in its ways. + It will interrupt you and impair your + concentration with antiquated advice. + Or it could even be a pacifist; it will then + declare that it has given up killing, and go all + bendy. +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + A highly aggressive soul. + This kind of Sword tends to take over the + user at unexpected moments, put her/him + through impeccable but obsolete Martial Arts + movements, and end up beheading people on + rather slender grounds. + This can be awkward. + The relatives of the beheaded person may + not be pleased, and there is a strong + possibility the wielder may dislocate a + joint through being forced to adopt an + unaccustomed fighting posture. +
    +
    2. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + Swords with appetites. These feed on: +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + Blood. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + Lifeforce. +
      +
      3. +
    3. +
      + Souls. +
      +
      4. +
    +
    2. +
+
+

+ The preferred provender of any given Sword + depends upon the whim of its maker. + Some Swords are partial to all three and may, + if not regularly fed, turn and feed on their + owners. + Fortunately, these Swords can be distinguished + (and then quickly avoided) by their dead black + unreflective colouration, their extreme coldness + to the touch, and their unloveable habit of + welding themselves to the hand of their future + owner. + Needless to say, by the time that has happened, + it is too late. + You are stuck with a hungry Sword. +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Swords that give signals. + This class of Sword heralds the approach of + enemies by: +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + Running with blood. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + Groaning or singing. +
      +
      3. +
    3. +
      + Shining with an unearthly light or + bursting into flame. + This causes at least two kinds of + trouble. + In the first place, if there are + ten enemies to one of you, you will + certainly want to hide rather than + face them, but the activities of + your Sword will rapidly betray your + hiding place. + In the second place, the enemies of + your Sword may not be your enemies + at all, and it can cause you much + embarrassment by dripping, shouting, + or shining in front of your + friends. + If you must own a sword of this + class, it is better to opt for + Swords that +
      +
      4. +
    4. +
      + Merely turn icy cold. + You can always wear a glove. +
      +
      5. +
    +
    2. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + Swords that are something else. + These will look like Swords, but are in + reality made of some other substance + entirely: +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + Star metal. + This is like steel, but + brighter. + It not only holds a wicked edge, + but you can cut through + anything. + This has its uses but, before you + learn what these are, you may have + lost a finger and several + toes. + Besides, this Sword will be + continually slicing through its + scabbard and plunging point-down + into the earth. + And it will go in a long way. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + Forged of pure spirit, though + goodness knows + how. + This Sword will usually resemble a + bar of light, and like a genuine bar + of light it is probably most useful + as a torch for frightening nocturnal + creatures (see LIGHTING). + Rumour has it that it operates like + a laser, but most experienced + Tourists agree that it does this + only in the Final CONFRONTATION with + the DARK LORD. +
      +
      3. +
    3. +
      + A DEMON. + The Demon will be standing very + straight with its arms by its sides + and be further disguised by + ILLUSION. + But it will have its demonic powers + intac t and, unless you know its + NAME, or have other means of + controlling it, it will get you in + the end. +
      +
      4. +
    4. +
      + Glass. + This is quite common, unpractical + as such a sword might seem. + It may be best to snap it off to a + razor-sharp splinter straight away + and use it as you would your + DAGGER. + Unfortunately, such Swords tend to + belong to MYSTICAL MASTERS, who + might object to this. +
      +
      5. +
    5. +
      + CRYSTAL. + This must be a telepathic device in + disguise. +
      +
      6. +
    6. +
      + Swords in stones. + Avoid these at all costs. + Usually such Swords are easy to + spot because they will be up to half + their length inside a rather large + boulder, but Illusion may have been + used to make the boulder look like a + pebble on the very point. + And they will be offered to you + cheap because nobody else will want + them. + Resist the bargain. + The sole use of such Swords is to + acclaim you KING of some godforsaken + Kingdom or other. +
      +
      7. +
    7. +
      + Swords that are incomplete. +
      +
      8. +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + With a notch or missing bit. + This type will be pressed on you as + an heirloom that has seen much + service. + It may even have belonged to your + father. + But there is a high probability + that the missing fragment will turn + up embedded in someone’s head, arm, + or leg and you could be accused of + murder. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + Broken into two or more + pieces. + This Sword will probably be given + to you as useless. + Or you will find it on a corpse in + a forest clearing. + Get rid of it at once. + Before the Tour has lasted much + longer, you will be required to + reforge the bugger for a special + purpose of a dangerous and + frightening nature. + First you will have to spend nearly + a year learning metalwork and + forging and then you will have to do + the unpleasant thing the Sword has + set you up for. + It is not worth it. +
      +
      3. +
    +
    2. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + Swords that contain your own magical + powers. + This is a stupid place to put your powers, + but it can happen accidentally. + This is why swords are so dangerous. + If this has happened, seek magical aid at + once and have the sword unzipped. + If you have pumped the Sword full of your + powers on purpose, there is no hope for + you. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Swords that are gaudy. + These can be very tempting, what with wavy + patterns down the middle, bright metalwork, + and big stones in the hilt. + Do not be fooled. + This pretty Sword could be: +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + A dress Sword for Court that will + not keep an edge. + It will certainly break or crumple + in serious use. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + CURSED, in any number of ingenious + ways. +
      +
      3. +
    3. +
      + Dangerous because of the big + precious stones in the hilt. + This keeps the Rule that all + JEWELLERY in Fantasyland has some + magical purpose. + The big red stone could poison + you. + The large green stone could + hypnotize you. + And the great yellow stone is + certainly a means for the DARK LORD + or a MINION to whisper things to you + that control you to their ends + (fell purposes (OMT)). + (See also MAGIC OBJECTS.) +
      +
      4. +
    +
    3. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + Swords that seem quite innocuous. These can + still turn out to be any of the above + without warning. +
    +
    2. +
+
+

+ We would advise against buying or using a + Sword, except that in Fantasyland this would + make you look as if you were walking in traffic + with no clothes on. +

+
+

 

+

+
+

T

+

+ Tes’rac was an ordinary man who was no happier + than the King. + Tes’rac suggested to the King that they change + places to prove it, but the King declined on the + grounds that it was self-evident . +

+

+ - + Ka’a Orto’o, Gnomic Utterances, II v +

+
+
+

+ TABOO + is something that is so sacred and so terrible + that it cannot be changed, touched, or + mentioned. + This is why you will find no entry in Toughpick + for the Rules. +

+

+ TALENT + is the technical term and OMT, although GIFT is + sometimes preferred as a variation, for the + inborn ability to do MAGIC. + If it is a general ability for all Magic it is + High Talent (OMT). + If it is an ability to perform only one or two + types of Magic, then it is used in the plural, + as His Talents were Firestarting and Mindspeech + (OMT) . + This OMT is never used of any other ability + except MUSIC, which in Fantasyland counts as a + magical Talent. +

+

+ TALENTED GIRL. + This young lady has almost constant employment + as Tour COMPANION. + The reason is that she not only has enormous + potential as a MAGIC USER, which is something + she has to learn about in the course of the + Tour, but is good-looking with it, if you don’t + mind girls who are tall and skinny or else + unusually short. + She will have either red or fair hair and blue + or green eyes (see COLOUR CODING) and a highly + spirited and resourceful personality to go with + these. + This quite often causes her to argue with her + Tour Companions. + She is usually pretty opinionated, or will be + as soon as she gets her confidence. + Sometimes she will join the Tour quietly at the + start, having set out to seek her fortune from + the INN, but more often she will join from a + VILLAGE or a PALACE. + If she comes from a Village, she will have had + some training from a local HERBWOMAN or + BARD. + When she comes from a Palace, she will be a + PRINCESS or a Good QUEEN, and may or may not be + trained. + In all cases, there will be much still for her + to learn. + She is usually the Companion who must acquire + the SECRET that will enable the Tour to succeed + in SAVING THE WORLD. +

+

+ TALISMAN. + The same as AMULET, only Talismans do not hang + round your neck. +

+

+ TAROT. + See PROPHECY. +

+

+ TAVERNS + are either in a cellar or open to the street, + and mostly serve only bad cheap drink and very + greasy STEW. + MERCENARIES love Taverns, but the Management + disapproves. + The OMT is low. + Most Tourists will enter a Tavern only in order + to get disgustingly drunk for the first time, + but be careful: about twenty percent of Taverns + harbour an Assassin with a contract for + you. + Avoid Taverns unless you really want a terrible + hangover or a bout of unarmed combat. + Stick to INNS. +

+

+ TAVERN BRAWL. + This will break out without warning in any + crowded TAVERN or INN early on in the + Tour. + The Rule is that everyone in the taproom almost + instantly joins in, and the ferocity of the + fighting is normally extreme. + SWORDS, chair legs, and tankards may be used + impartially. + There will be a lot of shouting and + crashing. + The amount of actual injury is, however, + usually minimal, unless members of STRANGE RACES + happen to be present, in which case there will + be large quantities of blood (some of it an odd colour (OMT)) and possibly a + death or so, along with extensive + breakages. + Do not be alarmed. + Be guided by the INNKEEPER, who will take it in + his stride. + If you feel like joining in, you may; but, if + not, the Management will have arranged for you + to find yourself either quickly underneath a + table or else drawn gently by the elbow to a + place of safety. + The Rules also state that the next morning + there will be little or no sign of the mayhem of + the previous night. +

+

+ TEENAGE BOY + is a very young Tour COMPANION. + He will grow larger. + Even to start with he is quite big, thin, and + gangling. + This is because he is a MISSING HEIR or a thief + (see THIEVES’ GUILD) who has not had a decent + start in life. + He is very good-hearted and moderately clever, + and a bit of a lunk with it. + He will tend to throw up after FIGHTS; and this + will not change, however big he grows. + He will go on to inherit riches and/or a + Kingdom and still be the same. +

+

+ TELEKINESIS + is the magical ability to move objects about + without touching them. + It is done a lot, but it is not given this + name. + In fact, there is no OMT for Telekinesis. +

+

+ TELEPATHY. + See MINDSPEECH. +

+
+
+

+ TELEPORTING + is when a MAGIC USER moves himself (and + sometimes other people) from one place to + another without touching the space in + between. + It is a very useful art which we have yet to + team in this world. +

+

+ TEMPLES + are richly architectured marvels. + All Tourists should attempt to take in the + grandeurs of at least one Temple, even though + the Management will arrange for you to be very + busy while you are there. + Temples cover a great deal of ground and also + occupy the skyline with ranks of sumptuous + domes, painted, gilded, and carved with images, + with minarets and twisty towers and sometimes + steeples as well. + They have gargoyles on every wall and coloured + roofs with fretworked edges. + Temples go deep underground too, in a labyrinth + of DUNGEONS, TREASURE rooms, and SECRET + PASSAGES. + Each is enormously wealthy, some of them by + highly questionable means. +

+
+
+

+ The layout of a Temple is traditional. + There will be an elaborate facade, sometimes + frighteningly carved, with a gate in it guarded + by fanatics. + Inside the gate will be at least two + forecourts, one thronged with people delivering + offerings and/or protection money, the other + thronged with Temple Prostitutes. + PRIESTS will patrol here, looking for trouble, + thieves, and pretty women to abduct as + SLAVES. + There may then be an inner court, smoking with + small SACRIFICES. +

+

+ Beyond that will be the public Temple, very + large, with ornate pillars (OMT) and elaborately + tiled floor. + It will be dimly lit. + Chanting will be going on. + There will be an IDOL or IMAGE of the God here, + but this may well not be the Image you are + looking for –if you need to steal anything from + Temple, be sure that this is not the Image you + need. + You will have to penetrate beyond, where the + building becomes steadily more confusing and + secret. + First will come the quarters for NOVICES and + GUARDS (austere (OMT) , ascetic (OMT)), then quite + comfortable quarters for qualified Priests, and + then the inner Temple. + This is where the true, dark, fanatical worship + goes on and the serious Sacrifices get + made. + The Idol here may be lit by a red light. + This is the one you must look for if you need + to steal any of its sacred regalia or + JEWELS. + If, however, it is a SCROLL you have to steal, + you must go on, to the inner parts where the + library (musty (OMT)) is to be found. + A long way further inside from here, you will + find the place where the HIGH PRIEST has made + himself very comfortable indeed. + Here also you will find the rooms for his + concubines and catamites. + This is the part you will have to get to if you + need to rescue a COMPANION from his + clutches. + Go carefully. + There are often magical traps. +

+

+ Surprisingly, some Temples are not EVIL. + You can tell because the High Priest will not + have made himself comfortable. + However, GOOD Temples are rare. + And take care again. + Some Evil High Priests are not above having + falsely ascetic quarters to make people think + they are holy. + In such cases, expect an inner ring of + initiates who will resent your foray and try to + kill you. +

+
+
+

+ TENTS + are soundproof structures of canvas or skin + that are hauled along when ARMIES or MERCENARIES + are on the march. + Good KlNGS and their generals have large Tents, + quite modestly furnished with a lamp, a bed, and + a table covered with maps. + Bad Kings and Mercenary captains have carpets + and real furniture (of nearly barbaric splendour + (OMT)) and dangling golden chandeliers. + Their Tents are often divided into several + rooms, for the use of servants, concubines, and + prisoners; most of these are also fully + furnished. + It is hard to see how this lot gets carried + from CAMP to camp, but somehow it does. +

+
+
+

See also NOMAD TENTS.

+
+
+

+ TERRAIN + varies enormously in Fantasyland, and with + great abruptness. + You can go from tilled land to magical WASTE + AREA in a few steps, or from MARSHES to STEPPES + in the same way. + What is constant is that the going is + terrible. + Thus, in tilled land, the ROAD will be all + muddy ruts, while on the Steppes there will be + no Road and a strong keen wind; expect snow in + any MOUNTAINS, stasis in the Marshes (even by + BOAT), roots and tangled vegetation in a WOOD, + BOGS, and steep hills near RIVERS, areas of + gravel and boulders elsewhere. + Perhaps worst, in the magical Waste Areas your + way will be blocked by seeping slimes, + ILLUSIONS, landslides, and magical MISTS. + Only in the small area now occupied by the + VESTIGIAL EMPIRE can you expect to travel with + any freedom. +

+

+ THIEVES’ GUILD. + The best organized body of people in the + continent. + Thieves’ Guilds exist in all CITIES and can + usually pass messages reliably between branches, + although each City appears to have its own + independent hierarchy. + The Thieves’ Guild exists to transfer wealth + but not to distribute it. + Its members are pickpockets, burglars, robbers, + fences, and housebreakers, but never + muggers. + The Guild claims to be a body of artists. + All its members profess horror at violence (but + are quite proficient fighters all the same) and + pride themselves on bringing off robberies in + apparently impregnable TREASURE stores, on + picking locks, and on climbing smooth + walls. + The Guild is organized into masters, + journeymen, and APPRENTICES, with an anonymous + Hidden Head, or Guildmaster, who rejoices in + such NAMES as The Faceless Man or The + Gentleman. + You will be taken to see this person at some + point when your Tour visits a City. + You will be blindfolded and led along + strange-smelling passages to an upstairs venue + evidently concealed between two or more + houses. + The man’s face will be veiled by MAGIC or + masked. + But meanwhile you will have made the + acquaintance of a very young Apprentice + thief. + In return for the Guild’s helping the Tour, the + Hidden Guildmaster will ask you to look after + this Child because he shows promise, and you + will take him with you when you leave on the + rest of the Tour. + He will become an excellent and useful Tour + COMPANION, and even make JOKES. + There is always an unspoken suggestion that + this young thief is the son of the Hidden + Guildmaster. +

+

+ THRONES + are the elaborate seats that KINGS, QUEENS, + Evil WIZARDS, and Emperors sit in. + They are usually of metal or stone and placed + on a platform in the Throne Room. + Metal Thrones are either of gold or of some + metal symbolic of the ruler’s nature. + Thus a cruel and unforgiving King will have a + Throne of IRON. + A lovely young Queen will have one of + silver. + The metal will be worked with consummate + artistry (OMT) into beasts, flowers, and + abstract designs all over, and may be jewelled + as well. + Stone Thrones tend to be carved into ANIMAL + shapes or austerely simple. + Both kinds must be chilly and + uncomfortable. + It is therefore surprising how many rulers + spend their leisure hours sitting on their + Thrones, alone in the Throne Room, often wearing + their Crowns as well. + This is a convenient habit: when you are ready + to overthrow an Evil King or Wizard, you at + least know where to find him. +

+

+ TIME + taken on the Tour is often vague. + Only if there is a public festival which + happens all over the continent will you be able + to tell how long you have taken getting + anywhere. + You may be slogging happily along and find + yourself surprised that you have had months of + travel (OMT) . + Or you may think you have been a year on the + way and find it has been only days. + The Management likes to keep you + guessing. +

+
+
+

+ TOMBS. + There are few or no churchyards in Fantasyland, + so Tombs tend to have to be in peculiar + places. + The Rule is that, wherever a Tomb is, it is + always intensely sinister and normally visited + at night. + Tombs are: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + On a hill outside a TOWN. + Here there are always many Tombs. + Tourists will visit by moonlight and become + appalled by hootings, rustlings, and + groaning. + These are sound effects only, unless there + is reason to expect a GHOST or + VAMPIRES. + You will be alerted to these by a sense of + dread (OMT) or a cold chill down the spine + (OMT). + This will be followed by sight of a white + flitting shape (OMT) . +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + In one of the few churches. + Here the Tomb is in a side chapel and will + be approached when moonlight makes strange + coloured patterns on the floor (OMT) from + the stained-glass windows. + Expect to be terrified here too. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + On its own in open country. + Here you will decipher (OMT) an INSCRIPTION + that makes it clear that the occupant of + this Tomb has KNOWLEDGE that you need. + You must then engage a Necromancer (see + NECROMANCY) who will raise something that + looks uncomfortably like a decaying corpse + to answer your questions. + Even in broad daylight, this is a harrowing + experience. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + Somewhere in a catacomb. + Here you will pass through UNDERGROUND + PASSAGES lined with skulls and hipbones, to + the accompaniment of rustlings and + gurglings, until you reach an inner + CHAMBER. + Expect to get colder with every yard you + go. + In the Chamber there will be either a + single Tomb with an INSCRIPTION you need to + read, or a whole roomful, each with a statue + of its contents. + You will probably need to raise and talk to + these occupants too. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + In a RUIN or OLD RUINED CITY. + Just occasionally the Ruin looks like a + Pyramid. + More often it is an antique sort of + TEMPLE. + You will have to descend into this, either + by stairs or by an excavated pathway, with + the sense of doom (OMT) growing about you, + and proceed by flaring torchlight to the + centre of a tangle of passages. + There will be the dust of ages (OMT) + everywhere, but the age-old booby traps will + still be in place. + The Tomb will be in the middle of the + central Chamber in front of an ALTAR and + both will try to flame you or get you bitten + by snakes. + In some cases the buried person will + manifest and try to stop you in + person. + She/he will definitely be of a STRANGE RACE + and glowing unpleasantly. + You have to disarm this antique + MAGIC. + The thing you are looking for will usually + be behind or under the Altar. Do not waste + time on the Tomb. + It is there for misdirection only. +
    +
    6. +
  6. +
    + In a Barrow. + Here, once you get inside, the corpse will + be lying on a slab in the middle. + Probably your arrival will trip the SPELL + that arouses it. + It will seem confused and attempt to equate + your party with a set of marauders it knew + centuries ago. + It will try to kill you with its grave + furniture. + It may also attempt to take over your body + for its own use. + Barrows are the most unsettling Tombs of + all. +
    +
    7. +
+
+

+ TORTURE + is obligatory at some stage on the Tour. + Generally this takes the form of being tied to + rings in the wall almost too high for you to + reach, and then being flogged. + But on occasions worse things happen. + Tourists usually find the Management blanks + their minds to the details afterwards. +

+
+
+

+ See also CHAMBER, EXECUTIONS, and PRISON. +

+
+
+

+ TOUR + is everything here in Toughpick, plus any of a + few variations the Management has devised. + Most Tourists will need to spend up to six + months recovering after they reach home . +

+
+
+

+ TOUR MENTOR. + See MENTOR and MYSTICAL MASTERS. +

+

+ TOWERS + (brooding (OMT), dark (OMT)) stand alone in + WASTE AREAS and almost always belong to + WIZARDS. + All are several storeys high, round, doorless, + virtually windowless, and composed of smooth + blocks of masonry that make them very hard to + climb. + The Rule is that there is also a strong + no-entry SPELL, often backed up by a guardian + DEMON. + In addition, Towers are subject to COLOUR + CODING: black for EVIL Wizards and blue, white, + or red for GOOD or neutral ones. + Black Towers tend to cast a blight of Evil on + the surrounding TERRAIN: days before you reach + them, you will have been able to tell they are + near by the dead grass and TREES. +

+
+
+

+ You will have to go to a Tower and then break + into it at some point towards the end of your + Tour. + Usually by then you will have an AMULET or + TALISMAN that will act as a key, but sometimes + you may have to climb the Tower and force an + entry on the roof. + Inside, the Tower keeps the Rule about + BUILDINGS and is much bigger, with many more + floors, each of which suffuses your party in + acid MISTS or ILLUSION or turns you into + something nasty. +

+
+
+

+ You have to stop this by breaking the central + Spell. Hacking it apart with SWORDS usually + suffices. + This brings out the Demon. + When you have dealt with the Demon, the Wizard + himself will appear. + If Evil, he will hurl far more subtle Spells at + you. + You will need to know a SECRET to stop + him. + If Good or neutral, he is quite likely to + appear in a crystal box apparently asleep, and + you will have to wake him. + This can take days. + Towers are quite arduous matters. +

+
+
+

+ TOWNS + are smaller than CITIES and do not always have + walls; some may have palisades instead. + A Town will be under the power of a lord, but + will have a MAYOR for day-to-day ruling. + Otherwise the Rules for Cities apply. + Expect at least one INCIDENT here. +

+

+ TRANSFORMATION + has been defined as “inflicted metamorphosis” + and is quite as uncomfortable as that + sounds. + Someone has, without asking you, turned you + into a carthorse or a table with bendy + legs. + It usually takes a WIZARD to remove you from + this discomfort. +

+

+ TRANSPORT. + Because of MAGIC and bad ROADS, Transport is + very primitive. + Here, though, are some general notes: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + By land, if you do not ride a HORSE, you + must go by cart or waggon. + Both of these have wooden wheels and no + springs. + Carriages are known, but very rare, even in + TOWNS. + They have slightly more springing but are + distressingly likely either to break down or + to be waylaid by BANDITS. + Tourists who ride in a carriage complain + how chilly they are despite sheepskin + coverings inside. + Ladies and Evil WIZARDS prefer to travel + instead by litter. + This is a kind of curtained bed that can be + slung between Horses, but most often is + carried by a team of strong servitors or + SLAVES. + Litters are most frequently encountered in + CITIES. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + By WATER, whether sea or RIVER, you must go + by small wooden BOAT, FERRY, RIVERBOAT, or + SHIP. + Whichever of these craft you find yourself + on, be assured that one of the following + will occur: +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + It will sink, possibly because of + attack by a SEA MONSTER; Sea + Monsters are attracted by Tourists + as mice are by cheese, although it + is a lot easier to understand how + the mice know the cheese is there + than how the Sea Monsters know the + Tourists are there. + Perhaps Tourists possess an + identifying SMELL to which Sea + Monsters are unusually + sensitive. + Even if there is no Sea Monster in + the region, the Ship is likely + destined for the bottom: why + captains take Tourists on board at + all is a mystery, in this context, + unless they are confident of + cleaning up on the Insurance. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + You will be attacked by PIRATES, + who will hack to death or hang all + the crewmen who have no NAME and + possibly the grizzled but kindly + Captain as well, so that you can + pause for a restorative tear or two + before trying to reconcile yourself + to the fact that you are now a + SLAVE, bound to be either a + GLADIATOR or a GALLEY Slave, if + male, or towards An Even Worse Fate, + if female (except that it will not + be all bad because one of the people + who rapes you/to whom you will be + obliged to offer sexual favours will + turn out to be somewhat fanciable + and GOOD at heart, not to mention an + exquisite lover, and will in due + course help you escape). +
      +
      3. +
    3. +
      + You will be betrayed to the forces + of the DARK LORD as soon as you have + been either delivered to your + destination or thrown off the vessel + in disgust by the crew. +
      +
      4. +
    4. +
      + The Ship proves to be able to fly + through the air rather than merely + chug through the water. + This will of course obviate your + inborn tendency, as a Tourist, to + seasickness: instead you will + discover airsickness. +
      +
      5. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ Travel by Water is not to be recommended, but + you will certainly do it nevertheless –and more + than once. +

+

+ See also TELEPORTING and TRAVELLING FOLK. +

+
+
+

+ TRAVELLING FOLK + are quite common. They are of two kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Land travellers, who go about in TRIBES in + gaudily painted carts. + These people are merry, colourfully + dressed, dishonest, and knowledgeable. + When you meet an encampment of them, they + will cheat you, cure your wounds, feed you a + variant of STEW, and then hustle you off to + the cart of their oldest lady, who will tell + you something about the future you need to + know (see PROPHECY). + After that you will spend time feasting and + chatting with the rest. + Listen carefully. + Land Travellers know LEGENDS and SONGS + which always turn out to be important. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + RIVER travellers are equally gaudy, cheery, + and dishonest. + They have brightly painted BOATS which ply + up and down Rivers and are navigated by + close-knit families (OMT) . + Tourists can either pay for a lift in the + Boat, usually with the last of their MONEY, + or stow away. + In both cases the River travellers will be + very grudging about it (although retaining + their cheeriness) and force you to help in + the chores. + You will peel endless vegetables for STEW, + haul ropes, and possibly do laundry as + well. + They will get even more grudging if the + pursuing forces of the Dark catch up and try + to damage the Boat. + They will often tip you ashore and then + tell the DARK LORD exactly where you + went. + Before that, they will have given you + valuable Information either about the + TERRAIN to come or in the form of a + LEGEND. + It is normally worth putting up with their + clannishness (see CLANS) just for + this. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ TREASURE + lies about in piles in Fantasyland, provided + you know where to look. + You should search for the following + sources: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + TOMBS, on which there is usually a + CURSE. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + DRAGONS’ lairs, where the difficulties of + removing the Treasure are obvious. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Deserted DWARVEN FASTNESSES, where the + Treasure is likely to be in the form of + ARMOUR of a make and fabric unknown to the + present day (but which nevertheless fits you + perfectly), or WEAPONS. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + TEMPLE treasuries, where most of the + Treasure will be MAGIC items, some of them + unexpectedly dangerous, such as RINGS and + CRYSTALS which put you in immediate touch + with the DARK LORD. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + The Treasure houses of KINGS. Except in the + case of Puppet Kings and REGENTS, you are + advised to let the King make his own + selection of Treasure and give it to you + freely. He knows the magical conditions that + go with each item. +
    +
    6. +
  6. +
    + The cellars of ruined TOWERS/CITADELS, + etc. Here only about half + the Treasure will prove lethal. +
    +
    7. +
  7. +
    + Note that the Rule is that no Treasure in + the form of MONEY can be retained for long, + and that the only use it will be is to buy + yourself an ARMY or pay your + MERCENARIES. +
    +
    8. +
+
+

+ TREE HOMES + are mostly what TREES are for, except when the + tree is prehensile. ELVES, GNOMES, and WOODSMEN + all use them. +

+

+ TREES + are unchancy in Fantasyland. There are four + kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Dwelling places. +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + As a house built among the + branches, in which case you should + watch for a rope ladder suddenly + descending. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + As a domicile inside the trunk of + the Tree, in which case the Tree + will be very large but the space + inside will be larger still, as in a + BUILDING. +
      +
      3. +
    3. +
      + As a space under the roots. Here + the dwellers are always hostile and + usually DWELL much further + underground than you bargained + for. +
      +
      4. +
    +
    2. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + Hostile Trees. +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + Prehensile. These will grab you + with their branches and try to eat + you. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + Mobile. These will quietly move + about and get in your way. They may + also try to eat you. In extreme + cases they will attack + BUILDINGS. +
      +
      3. +
    3. +
      + Poisonous. Avoid any drips from + these. +
      +
      4. +
    4. +
      + All these things at once. Run + away. +
      +
      5. +
    +
    2. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + Former People. You can tell this kind + because their branches make expressive + noises and they tend to bleed if you snap a + twig off. Tourists please not that + meditating in a WOOD can cause you to become + a Tree too, unless great care is taken. Once + a Tree, you are likely to stay that way for + quite a while, because Trees live at a + slower rate than humans. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Supernatural. These are: +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + A God (See GODDESSES AND GODS). + This Tree will be huge and old and + in the heart of the WOOD, whence it + will control most things that go on + in the Wood and often make demands + to its worshippers for the SACRIFICE + of Tourists. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + Inhabited by a Tree spirit. This + type is also big and old, and the + spirit may not be very friendly, + particularly if one of your + COMPANIONS carries an AXE. But most + such spirits can be bargained with + for help when needed. Caution: Do + not ask a Tree spirit to go far from + its Tree or it and the Tree will + both die. Otherwise it will give any + help within reason. +
      +
      3. +
    3. +
      + An Ash Woman. She will look exactly + like a real woman and try to seduce + male Tourists lost in a Wood, but if + you go round behind her you will + find she has no back. She is the + shell of a female imprinted on a + bent piece of bark. Ash Women can be + dangerous. If you find a strange + woman in a Wood, always go round + behind her and check before getting + seduced. +
      +
      4. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ TRIBES + are what Barbarians have instead of CLANS. Each + has a Chieftain and a SHAMAN, and its members + (probably) share a surname, such as Jones, or + Sons of Thog. +

+

+ TROLLS + are said by some to be a silicon lifeform. They + do certainly tend to turn to stone in daylight, + however this might happen. They are huge knobbly + beings, not very bright, who will attack Tours + in moorlands and hilly places. They are also + said to live under BRIDGES (when, on the + PANCELTIC + TOUR, they are often called Kelpies). Formerly + you needed only to keep them fighting until + sunrise, but nowadays Trolls seem to have become + desensitized to daylight and must be destroyed + by MAGIC or just driven off, preferably by + SWORDS. This is difficult, because they are + hugely strong. +

+

+ TROTS, THE. + One of the many nuisances that do not exist in + Fantasyland. See ECOLOGY. +

+

+ TROUSERS + are worn by both males and females who are + taking part in the action. (N.B.: They are + almost never referred to as “pants” or + “breeches.”) These garments have to be tough, + since they are designed to be lived in day and + night for some weeks, and so are usually made of + leather or thick wool. +

+
+
+

See also SMELLS.

+
+
+

+ TUNNELS. + The inhabitants of Fantasyland appear to have + been, in the recent past, obsessive diggers of + Tunnels of all kinds – not only SEWERS. The + walls of all large BUILDINGS are honeycombed + (OMT). Tunnels and UNDERGROUND PASSAGES can be trusted + to radiate underground from all CASTLES, + CITADELS, CITIES, ISLANDS in lakes, MANSIONS, + MONASTERIES, PALACES, and TEMPLES; many RUINS + have them too. Nearly all of them at once plunge + impractically beneath the nearest RIVER or + stretch of WATER and are thus slimy and liable + to flooding. Quite a number provide habitats for + unspecified slimy critters, and many SMELL. It + is hard to see what has prompted this + undoubtedly useful obsession with Tunnelling, + unless it is an understandable desire to escape + from DANGER. One conjecture is that the + inhabitants of Fantasyland have not long ago + interbred with DWARFS and so find that + Tunnelling is in their blood. +

+
+
+

+ A curious thing about the Tunnels in + Fantasyland is that, although often the + Management has omitted to supply you with any + obvious source of LIGHTING, you are almost + always able to see where you are going and what + you are doing. +

+
+
+

+ TURNCOATS + are people who change to the side of the DARK + LORD in mid-Tour. This can happen to anyone + except CHILDREN, GODS, and the TALENTED GIRL. + Turncoats are particularly dangerous because + they have no REEK OF WRONGNESS + (OMT). You will have got to know them as a + friendly COMPANION, Good KING, Tour MENTOR, + etc., and you will trust them with your + life/QUEST OBJECT/SECRET without suspecting that + they now operate on behalf of EVIL. Such people + will have been taken aside during the Tour and + been blackmailed, threatened, put to the + TORTURE, fed POISON, hypnotised, enchanted by a + MAGIC OBJECT, or simply been made an offer they + couldn’t refuse. After this they will be working + very seriously for your downfall. But take + heart. The Rule is that only one person becomes + a Turncoat at a time. The Management does not + allow everyone in Fantasyland to turn against + you at once. +

+
+
+

+ Note that the term Turncoat is never used to + describe a person who leaves the cause of the + Dark Lord to join yours. This is reasonable. + Your side is in the right. People who join you + are merely becoming converted. +

+

+ See also BETRAYAL, MINIONS OF THE DARK LORD, + SPIES, and UNPLEASANT STRANGER. +

+
+
+

+ TYRANTS. + Tyrants are like bad KINGS, only truly + atrocious. Most of them seem to rule in the + FANATIC CALIPHATES, but they are not unknown + among the ARISTOCRATIC FEUDALISTS if things have + got out of hand there. They may be REGENTS. + Tourists can tell when a COUNTRY is ruled by a + Tyrant because the ROAD to the main CITY will be + lined with impaled corpses and severed heads + will be stuck above the City gates. Expect to be + imprisoned and put to the TORTURE here. +

+

 

+
+

+
+

U

+

+ Undo nothing. You could freeze to death. +

+

+ Saying of the Desert Nomads +

+
+
+

+ UNDEAD. + Remarkably few people stay dead when killed in + Fantasyland. This may be because it is necessary + for a correctly qualified MAGIC USER to SING a + person’s soul to rest. Without this formality, + there is trouble. Even with it, the DARK LORD is + likely to come along and raise an ARMY of + corpses. The difficulty here is that they cannot + be killed a second time, but walk mechanically + about minus various limbs, rising up each time + they are knocked down, until they are either + hacked to pieces or discharged of MAGIC by a + MYSTICAL MASTER or Good WIZARD. Expect to + encounter at least a squad of Undead from quite + early in your Tour. Individual Undead may be met + in Barons’ MANSIONS, OLD RUINED CITIES, and + other desolate places at any time. Unless they + have been deliberately summoned by the Tour + MENTOR for KNOWLEDGE, they are nothing but bad + news. In extreme peril, Tourists too can summon + Undead in some numbers, but only on the third + leg of the Tour, near the CONCLUSION. +

+
+
+

+ See also NECROMANCY and ZOMBIES. +

+
+
+

+ UNDERGROUND PASSAGES + are usually there when you need them. No FORT, + CASTLE, MONASTERY, or TEMPLE is without one. + Thus your escape from an uncomfortable situation + or PRISON is assured. Traditionally, the + Underground Passage will be down some stone + steps from the cellar or DUNGEON, where you may + have to clear away some rubble, and then it will + be wet and slimy (dank and dripping (OMT)), with puddles + underfoot, because it always takes you under the + nearest RIVER. It will bring you out a good + healthy distance from the DANGER you were + escaping, usually into a clump of very prickly + undergrowth. This is how the Management takes + care of its Tourists. +

+

+ UNDERWEAR + is optional and largely nonexistent. It is + believed that some form of loincloth or drawers + is sometimes permitted, but the Management is + naturally coy on this subject. Bras are + certainly unknown, but in the case of dancing + girls may be replaced by sequined things with + tassels. +

+

+ UNICORNS + are exceedingly rare. Each one you meet will + tell you that it is the last one. Their horns, + however, are to be found quite often, and you + may use them both for healing and as a magic + wand. The rumour that Unicorns still acknowledge + VIRGINS is probably false. +

+

+ UNPLEASANT STRANGER + is a Tour COMPANION whom no one likes or + trusts. Usually the Stranger is male and neither + young nor old. He can be either sly and + ingratiating or gruff and taciturn (OMT), and + sets everyone’s back up and teeth on edge. He + will be dressed well but unremarkably. His hair + will be dark. This piece of COLOUR CODING often, + but not invariably, makes it clear that the + Stranger is a SPY for BANDITS or for the DARK + LORD, but in his case you have to wait and see. + If he is a Spy for Bandits, then you will not + have to wait long; if for the Dark Lord, then + you have him for most of the Tour. But in some + cases he is a dispossessed or long-lost KING, + embittered by his past, in which case you will + have misjudged him . A fairly sure rule of thumb + is to look at the Stranger’s hair. If it is + greasy, he has to be a Spy. If it is simply + unkempt (OMT) or greying (OMT), or both, he is + on the side of GOOD and the Dark Lord is his + personal ENEMY; he will be a great help in the + Final CONFRONTATION by drawing the Dark Lord’s + attention to himself while the rest of you work + at SAVING THE WORLD. +

+

 

+
+

+
+

V

+

+ Vengeance is seldom rewarding. You should + negotiate payment in advance. The Assassin Huggi + forgot this maxim but fortunately did not live + to regret it. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, + Gnomic Utterances, + V xxiii +

+
+
+

+ VALLEYS + are places of importance. They are: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + The sites of major battles that either take + place on the present Tour or took place in + the past. If the battle is here and now, the + Valley will have been carefully chosen as + the site. It will be green and attractive + until after the battle, when it will be + trampled and littered with dead and dying + (OMT). If the battle was in the past, the + Valley will be a sad place, where the old + agony still clings (OMT). Sensitive Tourists + will find it quite distressing. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Hidden and Enchanted, and likely your QUEST + OBJECT. Here the Valley will be more than + just green. It will be a paradise of + wildflowers and stately old TREES. Any WATER + will flow melodiously or stand and reflect + the view harmoniously. The sky will be + azure, the breeze dulcet. The Management + really does you proud here. You will feel as + if you are home at last. Some of your + COMPANIONS may well stay here for good. The + rest of you will absorb whatever the + ENCHANTMENT has to give you and then depart, + yearning. Later, you will kick yourself for + leaving. +
    +
    3. +
+
+

+ VAMPIRES + are increasingly rare on the Tour. They have + been attracted over to the Horror Tour by offers + of better pay. Where they appear, you will find + up-to-date Vampires wear expensive sunglasses + and wish to drain you of energy rather than + blood. +

+

+ VEGETABLES + are seldom eaten except as a component of + STEW. + This is odd, because every MARKET has piles of + glossy Vegetables on display. Raw ones are + unknown as part of a meal. The inhabitants + insist on everything being cooked, usually for + hours, and would certainly faint at the sight of + a lettuce. +

+
+
+

+ See also ROOTS and SCURVY. +

+
+
+

+ VEGETATION + divides into three kinds: Good, Bad, and + Neutral. +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + Good is the herbs that always present + themselves when you need Healing; the Roots + you can find and dig up as soon as your food + runs out; and the Waygrass that grows by the + road when you have eaten all your + Journeybread. On rare occasions, a flower + will be a manifestation of a Goddess. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Bad are all mobile, prehensile, and + carnivorous Trees, plants that grow in + magical Wastes ((OMT) + of a poisonous green colour), and the highly toxic thorny bushes that + grow where you are trying to push through a + Ruin to find a Scroll. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Neutral are just trees and grass and such, + which nobody notices much. +
    +
    4. +
+
+

+ VESTS. + A sort of V-necked sweater without sleeves, + made of leather and usually worn over a + SHIRT. +

+

+ VESTIGIAL EMPEROR + is nearly always a small, ordinary man (this + shows how the VESTIGIAL EMPIRE has shrunk) + rattling about in an enormous PALACE. He shows + little interest in restoring the former glories + of his Empire, but concentrates instead on + harmless occupations like botany and gardening. + His gardens are always very fine. He will be + suave and hospitable to Tourists. But do not + underestimate him. That ordinary appearance + hides a keen political brain and an + up-to-the-minute grasp of local POLITICS. You + will find him very proud and snobbish if you + chance to want to marry his daughter, but if you + want material aid or an ARMY he will tell you at + length how pacific and penniless he is. If you + work at it, you can marry his daughter and get + an Army out of him, but it will take some time + and probably an unprovoked attack on the Empire + to convince him. +

+

+ VESTIGIAL EMPIRE. + The most civilized part of the continent. You + can even get decent FOOD and a BATH here. This + Empire occupies an area usually slightly larger + than most other COUNTRIES and you will know you + are in it because the ROADS will be well made + and patrolled by Imperial GUARDS in HELMETS and + SKIRTS. Rest-houses line the way, a day’s march + apart. The LANDSCAPE will be full of prosperous + farmlands , vineyards, and olive groves, and you + may even see a little light INDUSTRY, such as + pottery and carpetmaking. White villas crown the + hills – in fact, most BUILDINGS in the Empire + are white. When you reach the imperial City, you + will find TEMPLES and colonnades as well as + streets of decent houses, drains, and public + Baths. The aura of civilization extends to daily + life too. The Vestigial Empire is the only + Country on the standard Tour to have POLITICS. + It has a parliament and a senate and many noble + CLANS to jockey for power. This keeps all + Imperialists very busy, very noisy, and very + likely to POISON one another. They also have + time to spare to overcharge most Tourists, since + they understand MONEY in a truly civilized way. + If you can survive this, you should enjoy the + Vestigial Empire. It has a touch of home about + it. +

+

+ VILLAGES + almost never appear on any MAP, but are quite + frequent on most routes; one may even be your + STARTING POINT, provided it is sufficiently far + from anywhere else. Villages usually consist of + one street with houses scattered along it, a lot + of barking dogs, a smithy (see BLACKSMITH), and, + if you are lucky, an INN. People who live in + Villages tend to be very parochial and + suspicious even of GOOD visitors. This is + because their life is a constant struggle + against poverty and SQUALOR as well as magical + drought and other WEATHER. They will have a lot + of rather strange beliefs about MAGIC being + dangerous and girls needing to wear SKIRTS, but + their hearts are in the right place. You will be + quite sorry when MUTANT NASTIES emerge from the + hinterland and kill them all. +

+
+
+

+ VIRGINS + are much in demand for various reasons: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + For SACRIFICE on an ALTAR to a bad God (see + GODDESSES AND GODS). The Virgin has to be + female, young, good-looking, and wearing + white. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + For WITCHCRAFT. Some schools of WITCHES + hold that a Witch retains her POWERS only so + long as she is a Virgin. This is probably a + myth and causes much unhappiness on most + Tours. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + For sale to a rich person. Most BANDITS and + PIRATES go to surprising lengths to ensure + their most beautiful young female captives + remain Virgins until they are sold as + SLAVES. This more than doubles the price + they can get. +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + For tempting UNICORNS. The mode of + attraction, whereby a Unicorn is brought to + lay its head in the lap of a young girl, is + probably no longer effective. +
    +
    5. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + For tempting DRAGONS. + Again a female Virgin is needed, but this + practice is long outmoded. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + As TALENTED GIRLS. + These are very likely, towards the end of + the second third of the Tour, to come across + a male Tourist in his BATH and turn + implausibly to jelly (a surge of some deep, + hitherto unknown emotion swept through her + (OMT)). + Thereafter they have a sprightly step, a + jaunty gleam in the eyes, a yet more + tiptilted nose, and a private life over + which the Management generally draws a + discreet veil. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Nobody wants a male Virgin at all. + Young boys, yes, but there is no + stipulation about Virginity. In fact, some + experience is preferred. +
    +
    4. +
+
+

+ VISIONS. + Tourists without TALENT can often be obtuse + about how the Management wishes them to + act. + DREAMS will be tried first. + If the unTalented Tourist still refuses to + decide to do the right thing, she/he will be + accorded a Vision. + This will sometimes show the consequences of + her/his present reluctance to act, but most + often will be a graphic sight of things + happening elsewhere which need to be set right + at once. + Visions can show CITIES burning, ISLANDS + sinking, and ARMIES marching, but may also show + more domestic scenes in PALACES where the + beleaguered young QUEEN is being forced into + marriage with her Evil COUNCILLOR. Such sights + will galvanize any Tourist. See also + PROPHECY. +

+
+

 

+

+
+

W

+

+ When you obtain a talisman of great worth, you + should exchange it quickly for a bag of beans. + Protection is nothing like as valuable as + climbing to the sky. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, + More Gnomic Utterances, XXXII xlix +

+
+
+

+ WALLED CITIES. + If a City has walls around it, particularly if + those walls are spectacularly strong, high, and + thick, and if its gates are marvels of sevenfold + beaten bronze, then you can BET large odds that + it will be under SIEGE before you have been in + it three days. +

+

+ WANDS + (rare) . + Another term for STAFFS. +

+

+ WAR. + Long ago there was of course the WIZARDS’ War, + usually accounted the Ultimate Conflict, but War + naturally goes on all the time in + Fantasyland. + It follows the Rules for CONFRONTATIONS, + FIGHTS, and INCIDENTS by starting smallish and + ending up with the whole continent on a War + footing. + There is usually dreadful slaughter before the + finish. And, like all Wars, this one solves very + little. + The Tour party has to go in alone and finish + the DARK LORD off, either during the main + fighting or after it is over. + But never fear: GOOD will triumph in the end, + though at considerable expense. + After the War, there will be a brand-new WASTE + AREA ready for the next Tour to visit. +

+

+ WAR AND WORSHIP PEOPLE + were once a much larger PEOPLE than they are + now. + These days they are limited to one remote + VALLEY, and some Tours do not even call + there. + It is easy to see why. + Among this People, women spend their days as + PRIESTESSES in exclusive service to their + GODDESS and occupy any houses there are. + Men live apart in Halls and devote their + energies to being Warriors. + Each sex despises the other. + There is some yearly arrangement whereby the + sexes can get together for one night. Usually + there is a feast at which a potent drink is + served. + This reduces cultural inhibitions just enough + so that the next generation can be + conceived. + Possibly these days the drink is less potent, + or maybe the arrangement is flawed. One serious + problem is that neither sex seems to have time + either to cultivate field s or to look after + children. + At any rate, this People is definitely on the + decline. +

+

+ WARDS + are magical protections. + They have to be invoked by a MAGIC USER + (usually tired out after a day’s travel) who + concentrates at four points of a circle, or + draws a circle in the earth with a stick, or + SINGS. + After this, the CAMP will be safe from + predators and the forces of EVIL for one night + . + But do not expect the Magic User to help with + the chores afterwards. + The Rules state that this form of MAGIC is hard + work. +

+

+ WARRIOR WOMEN. + The country where these Iadies Iive is almost + the only one you will not visit on your Tour. + They do not like intruders or men. + Rumour has it that there are no men in this + country, even for breeding with. + Where the next gene ration comes from or who + looks after it is anyone’s guess. + But the Warrior Women them selves are out and + about a lot. + They are far more soldierly than male soldiers, + and do a lot of swaggering, swe aring, screwing, + drinking, and betting, as well as + fighting. + Some are huge and coarse with very hairy + armpits, but most are quite slender and co + mely. + They are all na turally very strong. + If you want your arm broken, try insulting a + Warrior Woman. + Nevertheless, it is possible to become quite + friendly with them, provided no one treats them + like women. + Rumour has it that they are all gay. + This may be true, but SEX with a Warrior Woman + is often provided on a Tour and should not be + missed by either men or women. +

+

+ WASHING. + Do not expect to wash often. + Do not expect warm WATER. + Do not expect to wash at all in most + INNS. + Washing of yourself and clothes will be done + mostly in RIVERS and streams. + Expect to feel gritty afterwards. +

+
+
+

But see also BATH.

+
+
+

+ WASTE AREAS + occupy large parts of the main landmass. + Each has a different origin: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + A KING’S personality defects. + Here the land reflects the King and parches + dry or simply refuses to grow crops. + The inhabitants are forced to leave. + This Waste is full of derelict farms and + often has very unreliable WEATHER. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Overtaxation. + Here the LANDSCAPE looks like the first + kind, but seems quite lush. + The peasantry have all sold up because they + were unable to pay the extortionate taxes + demanded by their Lord. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + A recent visit by the DARK LORD or his + ARMIES. + Ashes and corpses are left in their + wake. + Again, land and farms are empty, though + there may be a few pitiful survivors to tell + you what happened (see NUNNERY). +
    +
    4. +
  4. +
    + One-time lands of the VESTIGIAL + EMPIRE. + As the Empire shrank, the lands were simply + left empty. + Before that they must have been perilously + over-cropped. + All that is left now are miles of tussocky + grass, broken ROADS, and stumps of BUILDINGS + overgrown with bushes and weeds. + There are almost no BIRDS or ANIMALS here; + MUTANT NASTIES, WERES, and MONSTERS have + usually moved in. + Tours need to go warily in this + Waste. +
    +
    5. +
  5. +
    + Remains of the WIZARDS’ WAR. + Go even more warily here. + This Waste is still full of magical + pollution. + There are areas of glassy slag and creeping + MIST. + The vegetation is weird and often a + strident green. + It will eat you. + Twisted TREES, in particular, are quite + clever at acquiring human prey. + Slimes and mosses will try to absorb your + flesh. + Thorns will poison you. + Rocks are likely to try to kill you. + And any Animal seen will be frightfully + mutated into something intelligent, vile, + and predatory. +
    +
    6. +
+
+

+ WATER. + You may drink from or wash in any Water, + however scummy, while on the Tour, except in the + MARSHES, where it is full of wriggly + things. + Water in Fantasyland does not harbour + germs. + The only other Water it is unwise to touch will + be either near the home of an ENCHANTRESS or on + the trail left by a WIZARD. + This may turn you into things or show you + disturbing pictures. +

+
+
+

But see BATH and SEX.

+
+
+

+ WATERBOTTLES. + Heavy leather bags for taking water along in on + a JOURNEY. + They customarily hang by the saddle. + Most of them have slow punctures. + They always prove to be emptier than you + thought, and invariably prove to be quite empty + a day or two after you started crossing a + desert. +

+

+ WATERFALLS + are generally very tall and thin (see + LANDSCAPE). + If the Management draws your attention to a + Waterfall, it will not be for its scenic + value. + It will be because there are CAVES or a hiding + place or a secret colony of friendly folk behind + it. + You will have to turn sideways and slither + along the rock to reach it. +

+

+ WAYBREAD OR JOURNEY CAKE + is a flat cake, infinitely nutritious and + weighing almost nothing, on which Tourists may + sustain themselves for long periods. + In appearance, it seems to be halfway between a + ricecake and a ship’s biscuit, and in substance, + it is truly remarkable since those eating it are + never hungry and absolutely never suffer from + any deficiency disease (see SCURVY). + In some areas there is also a kind of grass + capable of being eaten instead of Waybread, but + this seems to grow only when your Waybread has + run out. + It is strange that the inhabitants, given the + remarkable properties of Waybread and grass, do + not choose to live entirely on one or the + other. + The reason must be that neither tastes of + anything very much. + After a month of eating them you will even be + glad of STEW. +

+

+ WEAPONMASTER. + The ex-GLADIATOR or MERCENARY who runs the + SCHOOL OF WEAPONRY. + The Rules state that he will be in late middle + age but extremely fit, with iron-grey hair, + broad shoulders, and a scar somewhere on his + face. + In his day he has been a legend. + Nor has he lost any of his skills. + So good is he that he will seldom take on any + of his pupils unless they show extreme + promise. + He leaves tuition to helpers and sparring + partners, so how he keeps himself fit is a bit + of a mystery. + He may look forbidding, but this is just to + hide his nice nature. + When you have been in his School long enough to + show promise, you will become his friend. + He will give you tips that are invaluable in + the arena. + You will try to persuade him to come with you + on the Tour, but you will seldom succeed. + If you do, though, he will be a valuable + COMPANION. +

+

+ WEAPONS. + Essentially, see AXE, BOWS AND ARROWS, DAGGER, + GUNS, and SWORDS. + In addition, spears, pikes, and halberds may be + used by militias, tridents by GLADIATORS, and + scythes and cudgels by AVERAGE FOLK. + A few exotic Weapons, such as throwing stars, + are sometimes permitted to FEMALE + MERCENARIES. + The GAY MAGE + + may use a crossbow, but otherwise crossbows are + reserved for bad people. + Magical Weapons were banned after the WIZARDS’ + War, but may still be in evidence –their use is + a sure sign that the wielder is EVIL. +

+

+ WEATHER + is always wrong for what you are doing at the + time. + It varies from heat/drought if you must travel + quickly, to heavy rain if you need just to + travel. + If you need to sleep rough, there is always a + frost; invariably, if you have to cross + MOUNTAINS, there will be a thunderstorm or + blizzard. + Some of the reason for this is that, despite + obvious drawbacks, the Management nearly always + arranges for Tours to set out in late autumn or + early winter (see SEASONS). + The rest is natural perversity. + Weather is, too, remarkably apt to reflect the + emotions of the Tour party. + It is sullen and grey if the party is + quarrelling among itself, bright and springlike + if everyone is happy. + It is also very susceptible to MAGIC, + particularly at sea, where STORMS can be raised + in instants (see STORM CONTROL), and in DESERTS, + where dust storms can be created almost as + quickly. + The general advice here is to keep smiling and + avoid annoying WIZARDS. +

+

+ WERES. + These are people who change from human to + ANIMAL form either at will or involuntarily + under the full MOON (see SHAPESHIFTING). + Few can take more than one sort of Animal form, + but the Animals chosen are various. + There are reports that a Were beagle has been + sighted. + Not all Weres are unfriendly to Tourists, but + most are. +

+
+
+

See also WEREWOLVES.

+
+
+

+ WEREWOLVES + and other WERES still prowl the WASTE AREAS, + but in decreasing numbers. + Most of them have gone over to the Horror Tour + in search of better working conditions and more + prey. + However, the sight of an apparent woman or man + suddenly shortening in the body, elongating in + the face, and then dropping to all fours while + she/he grows a lot of rank grey hair is still a + great Tourist attraction and should not be + missed. + But have your silver weapon ready. + A Were will spring before the change is + complete. + You should not let her/him take you by + surprise. +

+
+
+

+ See also SHAPESHIFTING and WOLVES. +

+
+
+

+ WHARF. + The OMT here is scummy and refers to both the + wood or stone surface of the Wharf and the water + beside it. + Wharfs are full of picturesque SQUALOR. +

+
+
+

+ See also BALES, BOATS, FISH, SHIPS, and + THIEVES’ GUILD. +

+
+
+

+ WILD HUNT. + This crosses the paths of Tourists scarily at + unpredictable intervals, often through the sky + and nearly always at night. + It is very numinous (OMT) and also doom-laden + (OMT). + Otherwise no one knows quite what to make of + it. + Normally all that can be distinguished of it is + the barking of many hounds, the galloping of + many HORSES, and the one rider, horned and + masked, at its head. + Possibly none of it is fully within the control + of the Management, since its appearances often + occur arbitrarily, and perfectly well-conducted + Tourists who witness it tend thereafter to + become numinous and doom-laden themselves. +

+

+ WINE + is always served in tankards like BEER (and may + well foam in the same way). + It is traditionally kept in leather + containers. + No one knows why bottles are not used. + Glass exists. + Most windows are glazed. + But the inhabitants seem to prefer wine tasting + of ANIMAL SKIN. +

+

+ WISE OLD STRANGER. + Usually a MAGIC USER and possibly your Tour + MENTOR. + In neither case should a Tourist be rude to + him, though he will often be extremely + irritating. + If he is not your Mentor, his MAGIC will not be + so powerful and his personality may well be + timid, but it is still inadvisable to cross him; + he will anyway die desperately trying to save + you and your COMPANIONS during a magical + attack. + You just have to be patient. + If, however, this person is female, you are + stuck with her. + She may be old as the hills, but she is also + tough as old boots and could well outlive + everyone else on the Tour. + And she is so Wise you want to hit her. +

+

+ WITCHCRAFT + is the Herbal and more personal end of + MAGIC. + It can be either EVIL or GOOD. +

+
+
+

+ See also HERBS, HERBWOMAN, and WITCHES. +

+
+
+

+ WITCHES + are special and probably at least the equal of + WIZARDS. + They come in several kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + GOOD. + These are the commonest type. + Most of them seem to be, at most, in their + early t hirties, and they are often + good-looking and extremely well + dressed. + All of them have commanding personalities + and great skill in MAGIC, but from time to + time they show an endearing lack of + confidence in themselves. + This is because they are alienated from + normal society. + Witches of this type normally live in a + College or Hall sited in a remote spot, + along with numerous other Witches and + governed by strict Rules and an even + stricter Mother Superior. + This establishment will have sent the Witch + forth with instructions to perform a task, + such as SAVING THE WORLD, that she feels to + be almost beyond her power. + You may become quite friendly with this + type of Witch, but do not attempt to have + SEX with her unless she invites you. + A condition of her POWERS may be that she + remains a VIRGIN. + But you never know. +
    +
    2. +
  2. +
    + Bad. + (See ENCHANTRESS, which is really the same + thing.) This kind seems younger than Good + Witches, but it is not the case. + They always prolong their life, looks, and + youth indefinitely by their arts. +
    +
    3. +
  3. +
    + Freelance. + These are rarer and tend to be: +
    +
      +
    1. +
      + Mature ladies who have decided to + strike out on their own, in which + case they look like bad Witches or + are fat, overdressed, and + silly-seeming. + In very rare cases they may be + retiring and ugly. + They live in CITIES and can usually + be persuaded to join your + cause. +
      +
      2. +
    2. +
      + A very young Witch in search of + more Magic or adventure, who will + probably join the Tour. + You may not realize she is a Witch + until there is a magical attack of + some kind (see INCIDENT) and she is + forced to help. + Then she counts as a + COMPANION. +
      +
      3. +
    +
    4. +
+
+

+ WITCHFIRE + is the insubstantial burning substance which + MAGIC USERS can cast at ENEMIES. + It also appears at sea during STORMS. + This makes it clear that the phenomenon is + akin, at least, to St. Elmo’s Fire. +

+
+
+

+ Compare MAGELIGHT and WITCHLIGHT. +

+
+
+

+ WITCHLIGHT. + Really just another word for MAGELIGHT or + WITCHFIRE. + In the case of Witches, this light can flame + from the hair and surround the hands. + Some manifestations of MAGIC are clearly + sex-linked. +

+

+ WITCH SIGHT + is the ability to see through ILLUSIONS and to + spot Magical events, invisible persons, ELVES, + and the nimbus surrounding a Spellworking. + It is a truly useful GIFT. + All MAGIC USERS seem to have it. + In some cases it entails the ability to see + patterns that others cannot perceive. + Tourists without it must regard themselves as + seriously disabled. +

+

+ WIZARDS + are normally intensely old. + They live solitary lives, mostly in TOWERS or + CITADELS, or in a special CITY which has + facilities for study. + They will have been studying MAGIC for + centuries and, alas, the great majority have + been seriously dehumanized by those + studies. + Two-thirds have become EVIL, possibly agents of + the DARK LORD. + The remaining GOOD one-third have become + eccentrics or drunks or just very hard to + understand. + Evil or Good, Wizards a re the strongest MAGIC + USERS of all except for the DARK LORD and + GODDESSES AND GODS, and can usually be + distinguished by the fact that they have long + beards and wear ROBES. +

+
+
+

+ You need to distinguish Wizards: if crossed, + most Wizards get childishly offended and exact + terrible revenge. + Angry Wizards are likely to throw lumps of + LANDSCAPE hither and thither, move MOUNTAINS, + wave WEATHER systems about (see STORM CONTROL), + hurl DEMONS, flood or bury CITIES, and pollute + whole COUNTRIES with sleeting Magics. + This is how the WIZARDS’ WAR seems to have come + about: too many Wizards got too annoyed at + once. +

+

+ As a result, full-scale Magic Wars have been + prohibited by the Rules. + Nowadays most Wizards are bored. + Evil ones have to occupy their time with + BREEDING PROGRAMMES and plans to reign over the + world. + Good Wizards could not do this, and so the + Tours have come as a godsend to them. + Some Good Wizards can accompany the Tourists as + MENTORS, and all of them have fun bossing the + show and delivering PROPHECIES or cryptic + advice. + And the Management in its turn is grateful to + the Wizards, both for making the Tours so + interesting and for obligingly putting all the + Landscape back together again after each Final + CONFRONTATION, so that the next Tour may visit + Fantasyland and find it whole and entire, as if + as always. +

+

+ See also APPRENTICES and HEDGE WIZARD. +

+
+

+
+

HOW TO INTERACT WITH WIZARDS

+

+ Treat + all Wizards with the utmost politeness, even if + one of them is your Tour MENTOR and you are + trying to bully her/him into providing some + action or telling you something. + Remember that Wizards do not need anything from + you and do not like to be coerced. + Even the smiling ones with bushy eyebrows are + touchy on this point. +

+
+
+

+ Evil Wizards are liable to immure you in ice, + bury you alive, or just transmit you to the + Breeding Pens as food for their MONSTERS. + Be highly civil. +

+

+ Good Wizards do not go so far. + They will just remove your skin and then make + you itch. + Be very courteous. +

+

+ Poor Wizards, who are bad at MAGIC, need to be + treated with e ven greater politeness, + unctuously in fact. + If they botch the SPELL they put on you in + anger, they might turn you into anything and + then not be able to undo it. + Positively crawl to these. +

+

+ And, please, please, never attempt to seduce a + female Wizard. + The consequences can be terrible. +

+
+
+

+ WOLVES + can sometimes be heard howling in the winter + wastes, but are not actually present. + No Wolf has ever attacked a Tour party. + If you see a Wolf, it will be either a normal + WERE or one of the shapes your Tour MENTOR can + assume at will. + The colour of its eyes will tell you if it is + friendly or not. + WEREWOLVES in Fantasyland tend to be + red-eyed. + A WIZARD or other MAGIC USER will, in Wolf + shape, either retain her/his normal eye colour + or have silver eyes. +

+
+
+

+ See also COLOUR CODING and SHAPESHIFTING. +

+
+
+

+ WOODS + are frequent, and some of them are just Woods + where you CAMP. + Others are different. + You can tell which because, from the moment you + enter the other type of Wood you will have a + sense of being watched (OMT). + There are two basic kinds: +

+
+
    +
  1. +
    + There are Dwellers, human or Other, who are + up TREES watching you. + Expect an arrow here that will just miss + you and stick in either a tree trunk or a + FELLOW TRAVELLER who has not been allotted a + NAME. + This will be followed either by ladders + descending from above or by the Dwellers + themselves, unheard and unseen, surrounding + the Tour party and preventing escape. +
    +
    2. +
+
    +
  1. +
    + The Wood is a sentient entity –ground , + vegetation, ANIMALS, and all. + Here the Wood is watching you. + It will shortly herd you by vegetable means + inwards to its very heart, where there will + be a mound or a Tree. + You have to get into communication with + this type of Wood as soon as possible, or it + will get angry and either attack you or just + make sure you fail to get out and starve to + death. + When you do succeed in talking to it, you + will gain profound wisdom from it. + Woods are one of the few places where + SELF-KNOWLEDGE is often acquired, but you + usually have to earn this by having a bad + time first. See also FOREST OF DOOM. +
    +
    2. +
+
+

+ WOODSMEN + live in the WOODS and can be either human or + Other. + They seldom join a Tour, but are often met in + the course of it. + Frequently they are hostile and suspicious to + begin with. + You may have to work hard to get them on the + side of the Tour. + Mostly they simply want to go on living + privately. + This is particularly true if they are nymphs or + satyrs, who are the only kind of Woods people to + DWELL on the ground. + All other types live up TREES and come down on + long rope ladders to parley. + Most of them are wonderful trackers and make + very useful scouts in the ARMY of the + GOOD. + The majority also have trained BIRDS, which are + telepa thically bonded to their owners –this + makes the Woodsmen’s scouting even more + effective. + Quite a few Woodsmen are also MAGIC USERS, + often of a strange and powerful kind, having + imbibed the secrets of Nature (OMT) from the + Woods over the centuries. + Tourists are advised to be very polite to + Woodsmen, however extraordinary they might + look. +

+
+
+

+ Many human Woodsmen have mutated into skinny, + silver-haired Elflike beings, but should never + be mistaken for ELVES. + Elves would object. + They live in Woods up Trees too, and wish to + remain distinct. +

+
+
+

+ WORK + is seldom done as such in Fantasyland. + When it is inevitable, it is always known as + Toil. + But few dwellers (OMT) – with the notable + exception of INNKEEPERS, HEALERS, and the + occasional FERRYMAN + –actually have anything like a job or gainful + employment . + They just sort of live. + And it is a Rule that no member of the Tour + party has a job of any kind. + They are all, in various ways, out of + Work. +

+
+

 

+

+
+

X

+

+ Xerostomia, otherwise extreme dryness of the + mouth, has many causes but only one cure: the + nearest inn. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o , Gnomic Utterances, I i +

+
+
+

+ XENOPHOBIA + is displayed by most of the PEOPLES of + Fantasyland. + If they have a supernumerary appendage, as they + quite often do, you will be treated as a freak + for having only the requisite two of whatever it + is. + However, they are unlikely to SACRIFICE you for + this small fault; more likely they will befriend + you in a patronizing fashion and thereafter make + sly digs about the fact that you are + inferior. + Which, you will deduce halfway through the + second brochure, you probably are: where can you + store your JEWELS without that second + navel? +

+
+
+

+ If the Peoples have the usual number of + appendages, they normally express their + xenophobia by enslaving you. +

+
+

 

+

+
+

Y

+

+ Yield gracefully when someone pushes in front + of you. You can then stab them in the + back. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o, Gnomic Utterances, + X xx +

+
+
+

+ YEAR KING. + Rarely seen on the Tour these days, the Year + King rules for but a year before being made the + subject of a hideous SACRIFICE. + Nevertheless, there are lots of volunteers for + the post, possibly because of the positive + effect a lusty Year King can have on the + LANDSCAPE and even the COUNTRY as a whole, + possibly because of all the fun he is allowed to + have creating that positive effect. +

+

+ YOGURT. + The + health-conscious Tourist’s alternative to + STEW. + Yogurt is served on the one occasion when you + are ravenously hungry and would murder for a + nice filling bowl of St ew. + Nevertheless, you smile politely and make + appreciative noises, because the person serving + it to you is an attractive member of the + opposite sex and, after the meal (if such it can + be called), you plan to take a BATH. +

+
+

 

+

+
+

Z

+

+ Zero bears no relation to infinity, even in + magic. +

+

+ - Ka’a Orto’o , Gnomic Utterances, CVI i +

+
+
+

+ ZODIAC. + The constellations of Fantasyland are quite + different from those we see in our own + skies. + Nevertheless, ASTROLOGY follows a very similar + system. + Expect Doom when the Angry Red Planet is in the + Eye of the Shovel. + Do not be frightened if the Morning Star is + widdershins to the Rabbit, because this is + likely a sign of Good Fortune. + The Management is allowed to make such stuff up + as it goes along until the sky is positively + crowded out with improbable constellations and + multiple conjunctions. + The MOON, often full or gibbous (OMT) for + months on end, will play a large part in a ll + this. +

+

+ ZOMBIES. + These are just the UNDEAD, except nastier, mo + re pitiable, and generally easier to kill. + When you slash your SWORD across their stomachs + –which you will inevitably do –they watch their + impossibly decayed intestines pour o ut in a + glob, and then look at you with an expression of + ultimate pathos (OMT) before crumpling at the + knees. + Naturally they SMELL quite strongly. +

+
+
+
+
+ + + diff --git a/script.js b/script.js new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2623d25 --- /dev/null +++ b/script.js @@ -0,0 +1,296 @@ +const cleanTerm = (text) => text.replace(/\s+/g, " ").replace(/\.$/, "").trim(); + +const slugify = (text) => + text + .toLowerCase() + .replace(/[^a-z0-9]+/g, "-") + .replace(/^-+|-+$/g, ""); + +const entrySpans = Array.from(document.querySelectorAll("span.none2")); +const entryMap = new Map(); + +entrySpans.forEach((span, index) => { + const term = cleanTerm(span.textContent); + if (!term) { + return; + } + const id = `entry-${slugify(term)}`; + span.setAttribute("id", id); + span.classList.add("entry-title"); + span.style.setProperty("--entry-delay", `${Math.min(index * 0.01, 0.4)}s`); + entryMap.set(term, id); +}); + +const tocList = document.getElementById("toc-list"); +const tocLetters = document.getElementById("toc-letters"); +const termEntries = Array.from(entryMap.entries()).sort(([a], [b]) => + a.localeCompare(b), +); + +const firstByLetter = new Map(); +termEntries.forEach(([term, id]) => { + const letter = term[0] ? term[0].toUpperCase() : "#"; + if (!firstByLetter.has(letter)) { + firstByLetter.set(letter, id); + } + const link = document.createElement("a"); + link.href = `#${id}`; + link.textContent = term; + const item = document.createElement("li"); + item.appendChild(link); + tocList.appendChild(item); +}); + +Array.from(firstByLetter.entries()) + .sort(([a], [b]) => a.localeCompare(b)) + .forEach(([letter, id]) => { + const link = document.createElement("a"); + link.href = `#${id}`; + link.textContent = letter; + tocLetters.appendChild(link); + }); + +const searchInput = document.getElementById("toc-search"); +searchInput.addEventListener("input", (event) => { + const query = event.target.value.trim().toLowerCase(); + Array.from(tocList.querySelectorAll("li")).forEach((item) => { + const text = item.textContent.toLowerCase(); + item.style.display = text.includes(query) ? "" : "none"; + }); +}); + +const specialCaseMap = { + "A BARD": "BARDS", + "A COURTIER": "COURTIERS", + "A DEMON": "DEMONS", + "A GODDESS OR GOD": "GODDESSES AND GODS", + "A HERBWOMAN": "HERBWOMAN", + "A KING'S": "KINGS", + "A MAGIC USER": "MAGIC USERS", + "A SEER": "SEER", + "A WIZARD": "WIZARDS", + AMBUSHED: "AMBUSHES", + ASSASSIN: "ASSASSINS, GUILD OF", + ASSASSINS: "ASSASSINS, GUILD OF", + BACKLASHES: "BACKLASH OF MAGIC", + BALLAD: "BALLAD, How to Compose a", + BALLADS: "BALLAD, How to Compose a", + BLOCKED: "MOUNTAIN PASS, BLOCKED", + CHILD: "CHILDREN", + CURSED: "CURSES", + ETERNAL: "ETERNAL QUEST", + "EVIL SPELLS": "SPELLS", + FEMALE: "SLAVES, FEMALE,", + "FELLOW TRAVELLER": "FELLOW TRAVELERS", + "FELLOW TRAVELLERS": "FELLOW TRAVELERS", + "GAY MA G E": "GAY MAGE", + "GIFT OF SIGHT": "SIGHT", + GOD: "GODDESSES AND GODS", + GODDESS: "GODDESSES AND GODS", + "GODDESS OR GOD": "GODDESSES AND GODS", + GODS: "GODDESSES AND GODS", + "GOOD KING": "KINGS", + "GOOD SPY": "SPIES", + "GOOD WIZARDS": "WIZARDS", + "GUILD OF": "ASSASSINS, GUILD OF", + HERBWOMEN: "HERBWOMAN", + HERO: "HEROES", + "HIDDEN CITY": "HIDDEN KINGDOM", + "HOMESPUN ROBES": "ROBES", + "HOW TO INTERACT WITH WIZARDS": "WIZARDS", + IMPORT: "IMPORT/EXPORT", + "JOURNEY CAKE": "WAYBREAD OR JOURNEY CAKE", + "KING'": "KINGS", + "LOST LAND": "LOST LANDS,", + "LOST LANDS": "LOST LANDS,", + MAGELIGHT: "MAGELIGHT OR MAGEFIRE", + MALE: "SLAVES, MALE,", + "MERCHANT'": "MERCHANTS", + MINION: "MINIONS OF THE DARK LORD", + "MINION OF THE DARK LORD": "MINIONS OF THE DARK LORD", + MINIONS: "MINIONS OF THE DARK LORD", + "MORE ON RIVERS": "RIVERS", + "MORE ON RIVERS RIVERS": "RIVERS", + MOON: "MOON(S)", + "MOUNTAIN PASS": "MOUNTAIN PASS, BLOCKED", + "NORTHERN BARBARIANS DWELL": "NORTHERN BARBARIANS", + PANCELTIC: "PANCELTIC TOURS", + "PANCELTIC TOUR": "PANCELTIC TOURS", + PENTAGRAM: "PENTAGRAM OR PENTACLE", + PENTAGRAMS: "PENTAGRAM OR PENTACLE", + "POWER-": "POWER", + "PRACTICE RING": "PRACTICE RING OR COMBAT RING", + PRIESTESSES: "HIGH PRIESTESSES", + "SECRET VALLEY": "VALLEYS", + RIVERBOAT: "RIVERS", + "REEK OF WRONG NESS": "REEK OF WRONGNESS", + SLAVE: "GALLEY SLAVE", + SLAVES: "SLAVES, MALE,", + "STANDING STONES": "STONE CIRCLES", + THIEVES: "THIEVES’ GUILD", + "TOWN COUNCIL": "COUNCIL", + "TOUR COMPANIONS": "COMPANIONS", + TROTS: "TROTS, THE", + WAYBREAD: "WAYBREAD OR JOURNEY CAKE", + "WITCH LIGHT": "WITCHLIGHT", + "WIZARD'": "WIZARDS", + "WIZARD'S": "WIZARDS", + "WIZARD'S BREEDING PROGRAMME": "BREEDING PROGRAMMES", + "WIZARD'S STAFF": "STAFFS", +}; + +const resolveTerm = (term) => { + const normalized = term.replace(/’/g, "'"); + const special = specialCaseMap[normalized]; + if (special && entryMap.has(special)) { + return special; + } + if (entryMap.has(term)) { + return term; + } + + const lower = term.toLowerCase(); + const candidates = []; + + // Singularize + if (lower.endsWith("ies")) { + candidates.push(term.slice(0, -3) + "Y"); + } + if (lower.endsWith("ves")) { + candidates.push(term.slice(0, -3) + "F"); + candidates.push(term.slice(0, -3) + "FE"); + } + if (lower.endsWith("es")) { + candidates.push(term.slice(0, -2)); + } + if (lower.endsWith("s")) { + candidates.push(term.slice(0, -1)); + } + + // Pluralize + if (lower.endsWith("y") && !/[aeiou]y$/.test(lower)) { + candidates.push(term.slice(0, -1) + "IES"); + } + if (lower.endsWith("f")) { + candidates.push(term.slice(0, -1) + "VES"); + } + if (lower.endsWith("fe")) { + candidates.push(term.slice(0, -2) + "VES"); + } + candidates.push(`${term}S`); + if (/(s|x|z|ch|sh)$/i.test(lower)) { + candidates.push(`${term}ES`); + } + + return candidates.find((candidate) => entryMap.has(candidate)) || null; +}; + +const linkifyTextNode = (node) => { + const text = node.nodeValue; + if (!text || !/[A-Z]{2}/.test(text)) { + return; + } + + const matches = []; + const regex = /\b[A-Z][A-Z0-9'’\-]*(?:\s+[A-Z][A-Z0-9'’\-]*)*\b/g; + let match; + while ((match = regex.exec(text)) !== null) { + const raw = match[0]; + const cleaned = cleanTerm(raw); + const resolved = resolveTerm(cleaned); + if (resolved) { + matches.push({ + start: match.index, + end: match.index + raw.length, + term: resolved, + raw, + }); + } + } + + if (!matches.length) { + return; + } + + // Prefer longer matches to avoid linking a short term inside a longer one. + const byLength = matches + .slice() + .sort((a, b) => b.end - b.start - (a.end - a.start) || a.start - b.start); + + const selected = []; + byLength.forEach((candidate) => { + const overlaps = selected.some( + (picked) => candidate.start < picked.end && candidate.end > picked.start, + ); + if (!overlaps) { + selected.push(candidate); + } + }); + + selected.sort((a, b) => a.start - b.start); + + const fragment = document.createDocumentFragment(); + let lastIndex = 0; + selected.forEach(({ start, end, term }) => { + if (start > lastIndex) { + fragment.appendChild( + document.createTextNode(text.slice(lastIndex, start)), + ); + } + const link = document.createElement("a"); + link.href = `#${entryMap.get(term)}`; + link.textContent = text.slice(start, end); + link.className = "entry-link"; + fragment.appendChild(link); + lastIndex = end; + }); + + if (lastIndex < text.length) { + fragment.appendChild(document.createTextNode(text.slice(lastIndex))); + } + + node.parentNode.replaceChild(fragment, node); +}; + +const walker = document.createTreeWalker( + document.getElementById("content"), + NodeFilter.SHOW_TEXT, + { + acceptNode: (node) => { + const parent = node.parentElement; + if (!parent) { + return NodeFilter.FILTER_REJECT; + } + if (parent.closest("a, script, style")) { + return NodeFilter.FILTER_REJECT; + } + if (parent.closest("span.none2")) { + return NodeFilter.FILTER_REJECT; + } + return NodeFilter.FILTER_ACCEPT; + }, + }, +); + +const nodesToLinkify = []; +while (walker.nextNode()) { + nodesToLinkify.push(walker.currentNode); +} + +nodesToLinkify.forEach((node) => linkifyTextNode(node)); + +// TOC collapse/expand toggle +const tocToggle = document.createElement("button"); +tocToggle.className = "toc-toggle"; +tocToggle.setAttribute("aria-label", "Toggle sidebar"); +tocToggle.setAttribute("title", "Toggle sidebar"); +document.body.appendChild(tocToggle); + +const toc = document.querySelector(".toc"); +const layout = document.querySelector(".layout"); + +tocToggle.addEventListener("click", () => { + toc.classList.toggle("collapsed"); + layout.classList.toggle("toc-hidden"); + document.body.classList.toggle("toc-collapsed"); +}); diff --git a/style.css b/style.css new file mode 100644 index 0000000..283946e --- /dev/null +++ b/style.css @@ -0,0 +1,297 @@ +:root { + --ink: #251f1a; + --ink-soft: #4b3f34; + --paper: #f5efe6; + --paper-deep: #e9ddcc; + --accent: #b6522f; + --accent-deep: #7a2e1a; + --nav-bg: #efe4d6; + --highlight: #f3c98b; + --shadow: rgba(45, 34, 26, 0.18); +} + +* { + box-sizing: border-box; +} + +body { + margin: 0; + color: var(--ink); + background: + radial-gradient( + circle at 20% 20%, + rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.55), + transparent 45% + ), + radial-gradient( + circle at 80% 0%, + rgba(236, 196, 140, 0.35), + transparent 50% + ), + linear-gradient(135deg, #fbf7f2 0%, #efe0cb 50%, #f8f1e7 100%); + font-family: "Avenir Next", "Gill Sans", "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; + line-height: 1.6; +} + +.page { + min-height: 100vh; + display: flex; + flex-direction: column; +} + +.hero { + padding: 48px 6vw 32px; + background: + linear-gradient(120deg, rgba(182, 82, 47, 0.12), transparent 55%), + linear-gradient(220deg, rgba(122, 46, 26, 0.18), transparent 45%); + border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(63, 44, 31, 0.2); + animation: fade-up 0.8s ease both; +} + +.hero h1 { + font-family: + "Iowan Old Style", "Palatino Linotype", "Book Antiqua", Garamond, serif; + font-size: clamp(2.4rem, 4vw, 3.6rem); + letter-spacing: 0.02em; + margin: 0 0 8px; +} + +.hero p { + margin: 0; + max-width: 54ch; + color: var(--ink-soft); + font-size: 1.05rem; +} + +.layout { + display: grid; + grid-template-columns: minmax(240px, 320px) minmax(0, 1fr); + gap: 28px; + padding: 32px 6vw 64px; +} + +.toc { + background: var(--nav-bg); + border-radius: 18px; + padding: 24px; + box-shadow: 0 18px 40px var(--shadow); + position: sticky; + top: 24px; + max-height: calc(100vh - 48px); + overflow: auto; + animation: fade-up 0.8s ease 0.1s both; +} + +.toc h2 { + margin-top: 0; + font-size: 1.1rem; + letter-spacing: 0.08em; + text-transform: uppercase; + color: var(--accent-deep); +} + +.toc input { + width: 100%; + padding: 10px 12px; + border-radius: 10px; + border: 1px solid rgba(70, 50, 36, 0.2); + font-size: 0.95rem; + margin-bottom: 14px; + background: #fffaf3; +} + +.toc-letters { + display: flex; + flex-wrap: wrap; + gap: 6px; + margin-bottom: 16px; +} + +.toc-letters a { + font-size: 0.75rem; + text-decoration: none; + color: var(--accent-deep); + padding: 4px 6px; + border-radius: 6px; + background: rgba(182, 82, 47, 0.12); +} + +.toc-letters a:hover { + background: rgba(182, 82, 47, 0.25); +} + +.toc-list { + list-style: none; + padding: 0; + margin: 0; + display: grid; + gap: 6px; +} + +.toc-list a { + text-decoration: none; + color: var(--ink); + padding: 6px 8px; + border-radius: 10px; + display: block; + transition: + background 0.2s ease, + color 0.2s ease; +} + +.toc-list a:hover, +.toc-list a:focus { + background: rgba(182, 82, 47, 0.15); + color: var(--accent-deep); +} + +.content { + background: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6); + border-radius: 24px; + padding: 32px 36px; + box-shadow: 0 20px 55px var(--shadow); + animation: fade-up 0.8s ease 0.2s both; +} + +.content h2, +.content h3 { + font-family: + "Iowan Old Style", "Palatino Linotype", "Book Antiqua", Garamond, serif; + letter-spacing: 0.02em; + color: var(--accent-deep); +} + +.entry-title { + font-weight: 700; + color: var(--accent-deep); + letter-spacing: 0.04em; + animation: fade-up 0.6s ease both; + animation-delay: var(--entry-delay, 0s); +} + +.entry-title:target { + background: var(--highlight); + padding: 2px 6px; + border-radius: 6px; +} + +.entry-link { + color: var(--accent); + text-decoration: none; + border-bottom: 1px dashed rgba(122, 46, 26, 0.4); +} + +.entry-link:hover { + color: var(--accent-deep); + border-bottom-style: solid; +} + +.note { + font-style: italic; + color: var(--ink-soft); +} + +@keyframes fade-up { + from { + opacity: 0; + transform: translateY(16px); + } + to { + opacity: 1; + transform: translateY(0); + } +} + +/* Collapse/expand toggle */ +.toc-toggle { + position: fixed; + left: 0; + top: 50%; + transform: translateY(-50%); + z-index: 100; + background: var(--accent); + color: white; + border: none; + border-radius: 0 8px 8px 0; + padding: 12px 8px; + cursor: pointer; + font-size: 1.2rem; + box-shadow: 2px 2px 8px var(--shadow); + transition: + background 0.2s ease, + left 0.3s ease; +} + +.toc-toggle:hover { + background: var(--accent-deep); +} + +.toc-toggle::before { + content: "◀"; + display: block; +} + +.toc.collapsed + .content ~ .toc-toggle::before, +body.toc-collapsed .toc-toggle::before { + content: "▶"; +} + +.toc { + transition: + margin-left 0.3s ease, + opacity 0.3s ease, + width 0.3s ease; +} + +.toc.collapsed { + margin-left: -340px; + opacity: 0; + pointer-events: none; +} + +.layout { + transition: grid-template-columns 0.3s ease; +} + +.layout.toc-hidden { + grid-template-columns: 0 minmax(0, 1fr); +} + +@media (max-width: 980px) { + .layout { + grid-template-columns: 1fr; + } + + .toc { + position: relative; + max-height: none; + } + + .toc.collapsed { + margin-left: 0; + margin-top: -100%; + height: 0; + padding: 0; + overflow: hidden; + } + + .layout.toc-hidden { + grid-template-columns: 1fr; + } + + .toc-toggle { + top: auto; + bottom: 20px; + left: 20px; + transform: none; + border-radius: 8px; + } + + .toc-toggle::before { + content: "▲"; + } + + body.toc-collapsed .toc-toggle::before { + content: "▼"; + } +}